Chamblee54

Dog Be Hatin

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on January 31, 2009

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Christopher Buckley was discussing a known idiot the other day. It seems that someone went on Swedish TV, and said there were no gas chambers in nazi Germany. If you have the free time, you can follow the link and see the video.

Mr. Buckley’s concept was the speech should not be censored. People should be allowed to say what they please, and to be allowed to look like fools. The money quote:
“Idiotic and hateful sentiments ought to afforded every opportunity of dissemination, so that all may hear and heap scorn and odium on them. Don’t jail someone for being pathetic. Putting them on YouTube is far more effective.”
This is the essence of the American system. You can say almost anything you like. You will probably be ignored, but you will not go to jail. Dictators in other countries could learn from this, and use the secret police to give speeding tickets.

It is not surprising that an illustration of Mr. Buckley’s thesis was so soon to come. A *tight end* for the Dallas Cowboys made a video. He sang in rap style, used a few cusswords and racial epithets, and rhymed Tony Romo. He wore a team jersey, and mentioned the name of the team owner. Sad to say, the original video has been removed from youtube.

The *player* was fined $22k. He made an “apology” video. The “apology” is an excellent example of Mr. Buckley’s law. It deserves to be ignored, but will get a few views.
The Dallas Cowboys and the Atlanta Falcons will watch the Super Bowl on TV.

Spell check suggestions for this feature:
romo- romeo, ramen, homo, rome, room, promo, romp

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Plagiarism for Dummies

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on January 30, 2009

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It is national plagiarism week! Here for the first act at chamblee54, we give blame credit to Father Tony. As he puts it: A pathologist sent me this list: Washington Post’s “Mensa Invitational” which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners: 1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time. 2. Ignoranus: A person who is both stupid and an asshole. 3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. 4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. 5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. 6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid. 7.Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high 8.Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it. 9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. 10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. 11. Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer. 12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you. 13. Glibido: All talk and no action. 14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. 15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web. 16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out. 17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.

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Devil in the Disclaimer

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on January 30, 2009

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PG likes to wander the internet, looking for things to say. It is very easy to get stuck in the rhetorical goo. Then he saw the ad…What is your real age?

There is a saying…”G-d is in the details”. On WIYRA, the fine print at the bottom is revealing. WIYRA is a function of the Hearst empire….going from bad to Hearst. The lawyer types added the disclaimer…
Medical Disclaimer: All information on this site is of a general nature and is furnished for your knowledge and understanding only. This information is not to be taken as medical or other health advice pertaining to your specific health and medical condition.
Is the devil in the disclaimer?

Soon, PG was asked for an email, and told to create a password. Click here to indicate acceptance of terms. Somewhere in the mix was this …
Free RealAge membership…Membership is free and provides practical, personalized information to help make your RealAge younger. If you check Yes, we’ll e-mail you wellness tips and, on occasion, information about other health topics, products, and services that are relevant to you. We will not share your e-mail address with third parties without your permission.
At this point, PG started to get nervous. He hit the x in the top left corner of the window.

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John Martyn

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on January 29, 2009

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In the autumn of 1973, PG was living in a trailer in Athens Ga. The humble dwelling was soon to be demolished to, make way for a highway.

PG shared the trailer with Bob, who was a DJ at a local radio station. Bob brought armloads of records home, much more than he could absorb. PG started to look through these albums, and found a few gems. The two that come to mind are Joan Armatrading and John Martyn.

John Martyn passed away today. He was born on September 11, 1948. Yes, he was born on nine eleven. His first name was Iain David McGeachy

The album that caught PG’s attention was “Solid Air”. It mixed acoustic guitar, deep, deep voice singing, and lush instrumentals. Mr. Martyn had been a friend of Nick Drake, and the space journey sounds they got from acoustic instruments shows this.

John Martyn opened for Traffic at the Atlanta Municipal Auditorium in 1971 or 1972. PG does not know if he played in Atlanta any other time.

There is a song on “Solid Air” called “May you Never”. It was recorded by many other performers. In 1979, PG found himself in a Moonie camp…although they didn’t tell you thats what it was. Before dinner, various people were singing for the group. PG performed “May you Never”.

There were other albums by Mr. Martyn, and PG got some as they came out. None had quite the kick that “Solid Air” had, and eventually PG quit looking for them. He did find a CD of “Solid Air”. Then today, the Aquarium Drunkard had the telltale headline with the name, and two dates.

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Lawrence Welk Rocks

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on January 29, 2009

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One of the Atlanta bloggers recently posted a list of twenty musical acts the he “can’t stand”. The list was…

Nickelback, M.I.A., U2, Matchbox Twenty/Rob Thomas, Gwen Stefani,Fergie/Black Eyed Peas,Old Dirty Bastard/Big Baby Jesus, Norah Jones,Bob Dylan/Jacob Dylan/The Wallflowers,Linda Perry/4 Non-Blondes,Natalie Merchant/10,000 Maniacs,Sonic Youth,Kid Rock,T-Pain, Jack Johnson,KATY PERRY, TV on the Radio, Eddie Vedder/Pearl Jam.

PG just feels a bit more like an old fogie. And, maybe, this is not a bad thing.

To begin with, seven of the folks PG has never heard of. There is Kid Rock, who got in a fight in a Buford Hiway Waffle House. Or Katy Perry, who kissed a girl before she goes talking about Jesus.

It is encouraging to see the vastly overrated U2 on the list. Or puzzling to see that not everyone thinks Bob Dylan the most important artist of the last sixty years…in addition to making some great records.

But the main reason the list made PG feel old was the length of time since he felt that way. When you are an observer, it can be easier to not like something, than to appreciate it.

PG had a friend years ago called Geronimo. He had a lot of influence over PG’s thinking for a while. There were things he liked, but the list that he did not like, and would ridicule, was even longer. One day, Geronimo started to rant about Jeff Beck. As it turned out, PG liked Jeff Beck, and let his pal know it. Geronimo continued to have way more opinions than he needed.  PG…after a while…learned to think for himself.

This was the early seventies. For many like Geronimo, disco was the anti christ. PG started to hang out downtown, and one night was dragged, kicking and screaming, onto the dance floor. He discovered that he liked to dance, and enjoyed the music that so many of his friends hated.

The process of learning to appreciate all forms of good music was a long journey, and is probably still not complete. There was the time when PG stood outside a stadium listening to Black Sabbath …another bane of the 1972 music snob.

A few progressions later, and PG was not exposed to much that he did not like. Music went into the mtv era, and radio got more and more specialized. PG got older and more decrepit, and caught himself enjoying Lawrence Welk.

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Penalty Box

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on January 28, 2009

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Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once,SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate.
Persons who have been RAPED can only get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). 0bviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Management.
Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring to the attention of your Supervisor. They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

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Sauce to the Side

Posted in Religion by chamblee54 on January 28, 2009

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There has been talk lately about The Flying Spaghetti Monster. The FSM was originally created in response to the Kansas State Board of Education. The KSBE ruled that alternatives to evolution needed to be taught in public schools, including some contraption known as intelligent design. There was talk about whirlwinds rampaging through warehouses and creating jet engines.

The Flying Spaghetti Monster soon appeared, in all it’s saucy glory. The FSM is a satire religion, in the footsteps of the invisible pink unicorn. Bertrand Russell wrote of an interplanetary teapot, which will provide the beverage for the spaghetti supper.

FSM is often used as a substitute for the G word, or G-d. Whether or not Mr. Dammit approves is uncertain.

In this rumble for the hearts and minds of the unwashed masses, G-d has an advantage over The Flying Spaghetti Monster. The G word is a marketing dream. It is short, easy to say, and understood by almost everyone who speaks English. While people mean different things when they say G-d, almost everyone knows about the concept.

The Flying Spaghetti Monster, on the other hand, has eight syllables. Spaghetti is notoriously tough to spell, and has a silent letter. Unless you have heard about the antics of the FSM, you can expect some empty stares when you talk about her.

When PG was in school, he wrote a restaurant article. He did not know how to spell spaghetti. The dictionary showed nothing of value in under spe and spi, where logic tells you to look. Finally, PG got the yellow pages out, and looked for a spaghetti restaurant.

No one claims that The Flying Spaghetti Monster got a virgin pregnant.

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Three Pictures

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on January 27, 2009

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PG  recently finished three pictures. All are back lit, made of sticker paper and tape, on a mylar base. The first one completed is 308 gift exchange. This image is 15”x19”. This is a group of seven pointed stars, with shapes and colors to fill the remaining space. This image was a lot of trouble in the assembly phase. The idea was to have an even overlap around the sides of the stars, and that was easier said than done.

The next two were done at the same time. They are 309 Argyle and 310 Ovals. These two are 13”x19”. PG took the border tiles he had used before, and enlarged them 200 percent. On 309 Argyle, he drew lines between the tiles, and diamond shapes emerged in the middle. On 310 Ovals, a mandala theme was used, albeit in simplified form.

Before long, it will be time to do another one. Or two.

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Inauguration Panorama

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on January 26, 2009

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04a David Bergman made a panorama shot of the inauguration. It is on display at gigaplan. HT to Andrew Sullivan. Mr. Sullivan is guilty of period abuse. The photograph is remarkable. It is the combination of 220 separate images. A few glitches come through.Rick Warren is reduced to an empty black hat. 06a

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Gloomy Sunday

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on January 25, 2009

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PG stared out at the gray sky, and thought that the sunday before the super bowl just might be the most depressing day of the year. A cd was playing, a promotional device recorded at an ATT convention once. Bjork sang “Gloomy Sunday“. The ever cheerful PG has an idea for a post.

Billie Holiday had a hit with”Gloomy Sunday”in 1941. The legend is that people would listen to the song, and kill themselves. This happened so many times that the song was banned from the radio. Or was it?

“Gloomy Sunday” was written in 1933 by Rezső Seress. Additional lyrics were later written by László Jávor. It became known as the ” Hungarian Suicide Song”, and was reportedly banned in Hungary. An english translation ( which is said to not do justice to the original Hungarian) was rendered.

The song has a melancholy sound, even as an instrumental. The story is about a person…it is not gender specific…who decides to join a loved one who has died. A third verse was added, to the english version, where the singer says it was all a dream.

The song became popular in the United States. And the suicide stories started to spread, along with rumors that the song had been banned from the radio. ( It was indeed banned by the BBC) There are indications that these rumors were part of a publicity campaign.

The urban legend busters Snopes calls the story “undetermined”. Legends like this get a life of their own. A grieving person hearing this song on a dreary Sunday is not going to be uplifted. One thing is known for sure…the original composer did take his own life.
Rezső Seress jumped off a tall building in Budapest in 1968. The legend is he had never had another hit song after writing “Gloomy Sunday”.

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Salads

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on January 24, 2009

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This video is from two ladies. Their stage name is the salad sisters. They are concerned about the use of english grammar on the internet…or is that in the onternet? HT to Avitable.

PG knew a pair of ladies once, who became known as the salad sisters. This was when he worked at Shaky Blueprints. It seems that these ladies liked to take long lunch hours. Sometimes a salesman, who did not use the restroom, went with them. PG and the production staff stayed at the plant and worked, and were not amused.

One day the lunchers left, and did not come back for three hours. PG asked where they went.
“Oh, we went to the Rusty Nail. We are trying to lose weight, and they have really good salads”

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Twenty Three Thoughts

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on January 23, 2009

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The headline on the wordpress page said “”YOU DECIDE:Would You Want Terrorists In Your Back Yard?”. PG’s first thought was of the Georgia Legislature meeting downtown…Sam Adams should be required to finish his sentence term as mayor of Portland. Every time he appears in public, people will point at him and giggle. This is the punishment he deserves… Someone called Roughtype has a feature on the hegemony( for now) of google and wikipedia. It seems as though the internet created a new playing field for information, and goowi rules, at least for now. Is this digital darwinism?…the phrase 23 skiddoo has an entry in wikipedia. This was said by some to be the first national slang saying. It’s origin is is bit uncertain, which is fertile ground for mythmakers…
One popular story has a place on 23rd street in New York, with a lot of wind blowing about. This would be similar to Georgia Pacific Plaza in downtown Atlanta. The legend is that men would hang out on 23rd street to see the wind pick up ladies skirts. The UrbanDictionary goes along with this story… In those days, as the song suggests, ” a glimpse of stocking was looked on as something shocking now heaven knows, anything goes “. A lady simply did not let men look at her legs. To show how far we have gone, a recent interview with Sarah Palin ( The darling of the moral majority crowd ) shows her displaying her knee, albeit covered in a stocking…23 is a prime number. The only way to get it through multiplication is 23×1. However, using division, we see that 69/3 is 23. 69 is popular for an act that is uniquely related to two people participating. The concept of 69 divided by three is rather gruesome… The urbandictionary calls 23 the greatest number of all time. This may be the end of the research phase of this post. However, if any odd thoughts find their way into this narrative, they may have to be included. 23 is an odd number…The 23rd psalm is one of the high points of the Bible. And no, my name is not Shirley, nor is it goodness nor mercy…The number 23 in the alphabet is W. If you can’t say anything good, say it about him…2 divided by 3 is .666…. 6+6+6+2+3=23…. The legend is that Dr. Pepper is the combination of 23 flavors…Willie Shakesphere was born April 23, 1564. He died April 23, 1616…The very first morse code message was “What hath God wrought” (what hath God done) was from the Bible passage Numbers 23:23… On January 23, 1973, Richard Nixon announced a peace accord for the Vietnam War… On January 23, 1978, Terry Kath (Guitar player for the band Chicago) came home from a night of partying. He picked up a 9mm pistol, and held it to his head. He said, “ don’t worry, it’s not loaded.” He was mistaken, with fatal consequences…Human DNA has 23 chromosomes… Craigslist can be so poetic. “I am an opulent man. I have wealth beyond your wildest imaginations. Come scrub the diamond encrusted toilets on my lavish yacht. Furthermore, I am an exquisite man of great excellence and those who work for me often find themselves greatly life experience enhanced. Pay not negotiable”… If you enter 23 into google, the first answer is a wikipedia article about 23 enigma. This is the concept that all events are related to the number 23…William S. Burroughs is credited by some for first noting the 23 enigma. ” I first heard of the 23 enigma from William S Burroughs, author of Naked Lunch, Nova Express, etc. According to Burroughs, he had known a certain Captain Clark, around 1960 in Tangier, who once bragged that he had been sailing 23 years without an accident. That very day, Clark’s ship had an accident that killed him and everybody else aboard. Furthermore, while Burroughs was thinking about this crude example of the irony of the gods that evening, a bulletin on the radio announced the crash of an airliner in Florida, USA. The pilot was another captain Clark and the flight was Flight 23.” … Bonnie and Clyde were murdered on May 23, 1934. The letter B is two, and the letter C is three… On January 23, 1985, O.J. Simpson was elected to the football hall of fame…

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