PG read the comments at Puntabulous, and heard about a site called textsfromlastnight. Below is a selection. The texts are labeled with the area code of the sender. Special preference is given to Georgia area codes.
(254): you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room ///(254): Turns out I’m a social drinker… I just happen to be REALLY social///(302): I’m giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI. ///(678): Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.///(770): Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk…(678): discrete masterbation is a lost art/// (678): you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt./// (770): I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow./// (770): Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It’s unavoidable./// (770): Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said..”do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?” Weird.///(770): I know its time to do laundry… i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them///(770): Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?///(770): I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they’re pressing charges./// (770): I wanted to tell him he wasn’t actually in me, but my god, awkward?///(770): I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn’t try to shove a remote control up my own ass.///(404): her nose should be used as a dorsal fin///(404): Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning///.(813): i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa…(404): sure if you go to prison///(404): Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again/// (706): Was it a mistake telling him I couldn’t get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date? ///(706): so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess ///(219): I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls///(318): Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog ///(616): theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary///(706): Just found my girlfriend’s stash of animated Japanese porn…(706): And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her///(706): Did we have sex?…(1-706): No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left/// (706): Now that I’ve come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me….(1-706): Well thats $24,000 well spent.///(706): i just met rob pattinson in italy. he’s so stupid, i feel like i would have to say “your penis goes here!”///(706): So I’m going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator….(404): I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?…(706): Well….one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I’ll let you figure it out.///(706): hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you./// (478): Dude. I haven’t taken a shit in a week…(706): Try anal, it works wonders.///(760): Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool….(912): What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?…(760): I didn’t. I fucked her in the men’s room. Come get me before he finds out.///(912): i woke up with socks on this morning…(485): so?…(912): i didnt wear socks last nigh///(814): I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: “Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy’s spit?”