Those fun lovers at Lake Superior State University, in Sault Ste. Marie MI, have done it again. They have released a list of fifteen words, in ALL CAPS, that should be banished. LSSU does this every year. As a public service, PG has put these words in alphabetical order.
CZAR–FRIEND as a verb–
IN THESE ECONOMIC TIMES–OBAMA-as a prefix–
TEACHABLE MOMENT–TOO BIG TO FAIL–
TOXIC ASSETS–TRANSPARENT/TRANSPARENCY–TWEET –
This item is from an open thread at little green footballs, and the Rapid City Journal in Rapid City. South Dakota
A Sturgis woman had a blood-alcohol level of .708 percent, possibly a state record, when she was found earlier this month behind the wheel of a stolen vehicle parked on Interstate 90, according to Meade County State’s Attorney Jesse Sondreal.
A South Dakota Highway Patrol trooper discovered Marguerite Engle, 45, on Dec. 1 passed out behind the wheel of a delivery truck reported stolen in Rapid City….Checks with local and state labs where blood-alcohol levels are tested suggest Engle’s reading may be the highest ever recorded in South Dakota, Sondreal said. A state chemist recalled a sample that tested .53, but nothing higher, in his more than 30 years on the job.
Dr. Robert Looyenga, who recently retired from the Rapid City Police Department’s forensic laboratory, told Sondreal that the highest blood-alcohol sample he tested measured .56 percent.
Sondreal’s research indicates that a blood-alcohol level of .40 is considered a lethal dose for about 50 percent of the population.”
The header ad for this story features the pillsbury doughboy and toaster strudel. The headline reads, the one kids want to eat. The fine print says “Based on testing comparable strawberry flavors”.
When PG was in eighth grade, his Georgia History teacher was a long winded man named C.D. Puett. One day, the subject of alcohol poisoning was discussed. The story was, if you got above a certain level of intoxication, you were a goner. Someone working at the local hospital said, under a guarantee of secrecy, that seventeen people had died that way in a recent month, some of them prominent citizens.
Once a man interviewed Harry Truman for a biography. The former president (PG’s dad always called him goatsmiler) told a story about Alexander the Great drinking 39 bottles of wine, and dying in his sleep. The writer thought this a bit odd, and asked a friend of his at the Library of Congress to do some research. After much searching, a reference to this was found in the rare books collection. The book had been checked out by Senator Harry Truman in 1939.
John Bonham, the former drummer for Led Zeppelin, drank 32 shots of vodka on his last night on earth.
One of the blogs that sell ads is listverse. It is a series, frequently updated, of top ten lists. The one that sparked this post is “10 bizarre things …about christmas“, but first, there is another one that is too much fun to ignore.
It is “Urban legends that caused a moral panic“. Number ten was the “rainbow party”. It seems that an RP is hosted by a coven of teenage girls, each wearing a different color of lipstick. A boy at this party can expect to have receive oral sex from a variety of these girls, and his manhood will look like a rainbow. Through empirical forensic study, this story was determined to be a hoax.
“10 Bizarre Things You Didn’t Know About Christmas” promises much, but delivers little. Number ten is “Incest, corpses, and Jesus”. No, this did not take place in Alabama. It seems like some mythological era girl was doing the dirty with daddy. Once papa was wise to the scheme, and got his cigarettes back, he tried to kill his little girl.
The G-ds took pity on the girl, and turned her into a tree. The girl’s name was Myrrha, the tree is the Myrrh tree, and the dried sap of this tree was given to the baby Jesus by the visiting wisemen. The presence of wise men and a virgin is more evidence that the story did not happen in Alabama.
“10 Bizarre Things…” has three ads at the top of the page. The top and bottom are “GA attorney prepared wills” and “Living trust wills”. In the middle of those lawyer things lies the query, “Is your husband Gay?”. Apparently the wrong answer on number two will lead to the need for one and three.
The downlow about hubby takes you to a site called “My Daily Moment”. The first question of the quiz is “How often do you have sex with your man?” The ad next to this question is “Desperate to lose weight?” The illustration is a painfully white woman, who is about to break out of her bra and panties.
The header ad at this page seems to change. When PG went back to write this feature, the paid player was AT&T…something about bundling telephone and internet services. The lady(?) in the weight loss ad could use some bundling services.
When PG first saw this endeavor, he made a screen shot, with another header ad. It is for a stop- smoking concoction called CHANTIX. This product is advertised on NFL broadcasts.
CHANTIX has the most spectacular side effects of any new product in memory. ” Some people have had changes in behavior, hostility, agitation, depressed mood, suicidal thoughts or actions while using CHANTIX to help…” The way some NFL teams are playing this year (Eight teams lost to the Falcons) might reinforce these concerns.
The Georgia Bulldogs beat somebody’s Aggies in Shreveport, Louisiana last night. The affair is something called the Independence Bowl. The Fishwrapper has an ad for a casino-hotel-spa above the fold. Athens can go back to creating a school that the football team can be proud of.
This is the season of bowl games. A few years ago, any town with a stadium, and a chamber of commerce, could get a bowl game. Any school with .500 season could go to a bowl, many of whom now had grafted on corporate names. There was, literally, the poulon weedeater bowl holiday classic. Amateur sports, with student athletes, is a beautiful thing.
What follows is a story PG read in Sports Illustrated when he was a kid. There is no source, and there is a slight possibility that it is not true.
In the sixties, NBC had a new years day triple header of bowl games. The sugar bowl was followed by the rose bowl was followed by the orange bowl. Hangovers and national championships were fixed in one day. NBC made handsome profits.
An Olympic committee had a meeting one day, to determine who would telecast the upcoming games. The man from NBC went in, with charts and promises of money for the amateur athletes. The presentation from NBC centered on the january first triple header, the sugar bowl, the rose bowl, and the orange bowl.
Another network won the bid to telecast the games. After the meeting, an Olympics official had a private conversation with the NBC man. The committee felt that their emphasis on the bowel games was in bad taste.
The vanquished know war. They see through the empty jingoism of those who use the abstract words of glory, honor, and patriotism to mask the cries of the wounded, the senseless killing, war profiteering, and chest-pounding grief. -Chris Hedges, journalist, author, and war correspondent (b. 1956)
This weekend saw massive protests against the government in Iran. Many saw the situation their through the lens of Israel, which is calling for war with Iran. The notion is that nuclear armed Israel cannot abide to have a neighbor with nukes. This is more important to many than the future of the Persian people. ( PG suspects that Israel is fussing about Iran so as to divert attention from the shameful treatment of the Palestinians.)
The three way family feud between Jews, Jesus Worshipers, and Muslims gets more religious every day. Muslims are seen as somehow less than human. If killing a million Persians will make Israel more secure, then lets do it.
PG has been carrying the following story around for six years, and now is as good a time as any for telling. It is about the way we see war in a far off land, where the people dying are a different religion from us.
When America invaded Babylon, PG was working at Redo Blue, with a professional Jesus worshiper. PJW had betrayed the trust of PG many times by this point. PG tried as best he could to ignore PJW, who would sound off whenever he felt like it, and expect PG to be deaf.
I hear the people in Baghdad are partying down right now. They are happy because they know they are going to be liberated. I tell you, they are partying down.
After eight years of killing in Afghanistan, PG had no clue that the border with Pakistan is disputed.
The United States is spoiled by the acceptance of our international frontiers. The Rio Grande is obvious. While the Canadian border was a matter of contention at one time, it has been accepted for many years. (Of course the human traffic from Mexico is an issue, but that is another story). In many parts of the world, where one country ends and another begins is casus belli, or reason to start a war.
When Iraq invaded Kuwait in 1990, an argument could be made that they were reclaiming their own territory. Many of the boundaries in the Middle East were drawn by the British, often with little concern for the unfortunate people who lived there.
In 1893, what is now Pakistan was known as India, a part of the British empire. The Foreign Secretary of this government was a gentleman named Mortimer Durand. In 1893 a border was drawn between Afghanistan and India, which became known as the Durand line. There are stories of British dirty deeds. Much of what is today Pakistan arguably belongs to Afghanistan, or even an independent Balochistan.
Iran is in turmoil. The protests that erupted over the contested election have returned with vengeance. Andrew Sullivan, as in the past, is presenting a flood of information. This quote caught PG’s eye: “Past all the amazing things that were captured on the footage that leaked out of Iran today, perhaps what was most interesting is what was missing: any mention of Ahmadinejad. The abundance and veracity of anti-Khameini chants on Ashura should not be overlooked. The Supreme Leader (with the doctrine of velayat-eh faqih which vests him with power) has become public enemy number-one.”
The media-government cabal in America enjoys demonic leaders. When the issues behind a controversy are complicated, and often not complimentary to America, a photogenic bad guy is a good distraction. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is an example. He is short, and rumored to have poor personal hygiene. He says things that seem outrageous, and almost no one challenges the translation. And Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is, apparently, without power.
The following story might be a satire.
Egyptian grooms can now complain to the Consumer Protection Agency if their brides “are missing a hymen, or are otherwise faulty,” according to the new law.
If the marital product, also known as “woman”, is found without the highly-prized tissue still intact, bride consumers can return the damaged commodity within 7 days of trying it out, in which case they will then receive compensation from its manufacturer, or “parent”.
Contrary to unpopular belief, Egyptian women are expected to preserve their hymens at least until their wedding day.
The new law is a response to a growing trend of more and more marital products falsely presenting themselves as first-hand goods, when in fact other consumers had tested them out secretly before. “Imagine spending LE200,000 on a new car then finding out some other prick had taken it for a ride before you?” says Moneer El Modage3, an avid car collector and Middle East hymen expert.
This sentiment is shared by a majority of Egyptian bride consumers and manufacturers, known for often violently disposing of marital products if the treasured bubble wrap goes missing before the so-called “entry night”.
“The manufacturer of my ex tried to tell me my purchase was damaged only due to frequent horseback riding in its past,” said one disgruntled bride consumer, “but in the end I got a refund and bought a new model with a longer expiration date.”
Saudi conservative leader Imar Wekhimar, a frequent visitor to Egypt, praised the new law, though with some reservations. “Quality control in marital products is long overdue,” he said between sips of fermented grapes, “I just wish they extended it to young boys too.”
Not all Egyptians are happy with the new law, however – particularly the XX-based gender. A minority of extreme “liberals” are arguing that the so-called marital products are in fact conscious, claiming that consumers should be more concerned with what’s inside the head-shaped region, rather than obsess about the one time-use tissue.
“Ha!” says El Modage3, “What’s next? Stop sexually harassing them in the streets?!” Justifiably, El Modage3 and other consumers are worried that attaching any real value to “women” themselves may interfere with the ongoing 7000 year old plan for men to rule the universe.
PG was editing pictures, and listening to a discussion on “Bloggingheads” about aid to poor people abroad. Two academics with books to promote did the talking.
Peter Singer opened the show with a call for people to donate more to help the poor. He tells the tale of seeing a child drowning in a pond. Do you jump in and save the child, even if it means ruining your expensive new shoes?
William Easterly counters with a call for more accountability and effectiveness. He praises the child in the pond story, but says that it really doesn’t relate to the situation in the real world. In the pond story, it is obvious what needs to be done, and you can see that you are doing it yourself.
PG had another thought about the pond story. Lets say you save the child from drowning. Do you give the child back to the parents? These parents, or whoever was watching the child, allowed the child to get in this pond and almost drown. Do you want to give them another chance, or is there anything you can do about it?
Mr. Singer and Mr. Easterly go back and forth on the giving vs accountability issue, and agree a surprising amount of the time. This is not a debate for fans of intense verbal conflict, but rather a discussion about how tricky it can be to help poor people abroad.
Two issues from Mr. Easterly illustrate how tricky good deeds are. (He has a blog called “Good intentions are not enough“) There are food donation programs from the USA. By law, the corn must be purchased from Nebraska farmers, and shipped in an American ship. It can take up to six months to reach the hungry, by which time it is often too late.
The other issue is the attitude of those in the west that “we know what is best for you”. Many aid programs may look good in a Washington office, but don’t work in Africa.
Mr. Easterly calls for donors to aid programs to be more skeptical, and demand proof that the money is going to help the poor. PG sees a bit of a problem here. The donor here has to take the word of the organization about the utilization of the money. These organizations can lie, even if the donors knew what questions to ask. An audit of the relief agency is one possible answer, but an audit costs money that could be used in Africa to feed to hungry.
The issue of fighting world hunger is complicated. Often, local warlords will demand payment before the food shipments can be released to the people. Starving out the population is a tactic in the wars that seem to be endemic in Africa. While the idea of helping people by a donation is appealing, the reality is often ugly.
Between December 26 and January 1, Kwanzaa is celebrated. Dr. Maulana Karenga, a professor of Africana studies at California State University, created the holiday in 1966. “Matunda ya kwanza” means “first fruits” in Swahili.
Kwanzaa is a cultural holiday, which celebrates the ties among African people around the world. There are seven principles, or Nguzo Saba. These principals involve the unity and fulfillment of the African people. Each principle is celebrated on one of the seven days of Kwanzaa. The site is copyrighted, but if you want to see these principles you can go here.
As a cultural holiday, Kwanzaa does not interfere with any religious celebration.
Someone posted a bit of revisionism about a holiday classic Tuesday. As he sees it, “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer” is about racism.
In a bit of yuletime synchronicity, the urban mythbusters at Snopes posted a piece about Rudolph the same day. It seems as though the Rudolph story was originally written for the Montgomery Ward Stores. The idea was to print a Christmas booklet to give to customers. A staff writer named Robert L. May was picked for the job.
Originally, there were concerns about the red nose, and the connection to heavy drinking. At the time, the original meaning of “merry christmas” had been forgotten.( Merry meant intoxicated, and a merry christmas was a drunken one.) The booklet was released anyway, and was a big hit with shoppers.
Mr. May had a brother in law named Johnny Marks, who was musically gifted. Mr. Marks wrote the song, and somehow or another Gene Autry came to sing it. A story ( which PG heard once, but cannot find a source for) had Mr. Autry doing a recording session. The session went very smoothly, and the sides scheduled to be recorded were finished early. There was a half hour of studio time paid for. Someone produced copies of “Rudolph”, gave them to the musicians, and the recording was knocked out. It became a very big hit.
Gene Autry had a radio show, “Gene Autry’s Melody Ranch”. He created the “cowboy code”. Number five gets our attention today. Under this code, the cowboy must:
1. never shoot first, hit a smaller man, or take unfair advantage.
2. never go back on his word, or a trust confided in him.
3. always tell the truth.
4. be gentle with children, the elderly and animals.
5. not advocate or possess racially or religiously intolerant ideas.
6. help people in distress.
7. be a good worker.
8. keep himself clean in thought, speech, action and personal habits.
9. respect women, parents and his nation’s laws.
10. be a patriot.
“Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer” has become a beloved standard, without the troubling religious implications of many holiday songs. It is the second biggest selling record of all. The only song to sell more is “White Christmas”. You just can’t get away from race.
Two years ago, the video “2girls1cup” was the rage of the internet. A trailer for a trash Brazilian movie, the featurette shows two buxom young ladies sharing the contents of a plastic cup. The contents of the cup are supposed to be human waste, although PG suspects it is chocolate ice cream. Later, one of the players shares a technicolor yawn with the other. This scene was shot in profile, and PG suspects a plastic supply tube on the side the camera does not see.
The video is not in wide circulation. The site is still up, but you have to give a credit card number to see the production.
PG did two posts on this “product”. The first was a review of different reaction videos. This was part of the fun…put an unsuspecting person in front of the video, and record the results. Many of these videos are still up. Others have been removed, including one from a man with a nose ring who lives in Michigan…”The philosophy of 2girls1cup”.
That video got PG to thinking, which is not always a good move. Before we regurgitate that essay, we should ponder the question ” Is 2girls1cup real?”. A google search for that question yielded 88,000 results. None of the choices on the first page said for sure, although the autuer did admit to using chocolate sometimes.
PG took the “matter” to snopes, the urban myth busters. A search for “2girls1cup” revealed nothing. The screen showing this result has an ad for Betty Crocker products about the search result. Maybe it was chocolate frosting used in the video? That would not have any influence on the hidden meaning of this “moving” video.
One of the reaction videos got PG thinking. Is there a deeper message embedded in the action of “2girls1cup”?Before we get started, it is disclaimer time.
It is not suggested that you watch this. If you are sensitive, have a heart condition, or have just eaten (like, in the last month), you may want to look at something else. It is gross, disgusting, and without redeeming social value. It is not safe for work, and has great danger for play.
PG doubts this message was the intention of the creators of this epic. They just wanted to make a bit of cheesy scat porn. And sell a few ringtones. They succeeded beyond their wildest dreams.
Of course, just because the creators of a work don’t intend for it to be a myth, that doesn’t stop the determined believer. Did the Council of Nicea intend their church canon to be taken as the inerrant Word of G-d? The texts in that canon were often telling allegorical stories. These were not to be taken as literal truth.
Is there a deeper truth inherent in this tawdry vignette of snacking sisters? Maybe.
The cup is the Christ figure in this saga. The deposit in the cup represents the sin of mankind, forgiven through the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. Jesus took the sins of man on his shoulders, and paid the price for these sins, just as the cup received the product of a young lady’s digesto-elimination system.
The only trouble is, the girls then ate the forbidden flop. This compares to the way the church of Jesus Worship recycles sin. The poisonous anger and rudeness that Jesus paid for on the cross are fed back to the eager believers every Sunday.
As a response to this excremental dessert, the actress hurled onto the breast of her willing partner. This stands in for the verbal abuse that is showered on worshipers in houses of G-d every Sunday. The professional Jesus Worshipers are partaking of the same poison output as the flock.They project this vile output on the offering givers in the form of hellfire and brimstone sermons. And the worshipers think they are going to heaven as a result.
Was this the message the producers of this video intended? We cannot be certain.The best course of action is to refuse to partake of the product in the cup
Until this year, PG had never heard of Mithras.
Mithras is a Persian deity, from the Zororoaster tradition. ( That is pronounced Zor uh THRUS ta). Not much is known about him… did he really exist,or was he a legend? There was a cult of Mithras in the first century Roman empire.
There are supposed to be similarities between Mithras and Jesus. These include the virgin birth, the birth on December 25, and rising from the dead after three days. Some spoilsports say the early christians grafted Jesus onto the legend of Mithras.
One indication that this might be true is the reaction of “The Catholic Encyclopedia“. “Some apparent similarities exist; but in a number of details it is quite probable that Mithraism was the borrower from Christianity.”