These Demons Have Staying Power

These visits to alternative reality are from a variety of sources. Included are Facebook (fb), twitter (tw), Futility Closet (fc), All Aphorisms, All The Time (Aph), Texts From Last Night (tln) , and Overheard in New York (ony). Attempts to maintain a no profanity blog will be suspended for this post. ~ ‏@bukquotes “these demons have staying power.” ~ Charles Bukowski (tw) ~ Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I’m hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life. (tln) ~ We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there’s a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods. (tln) ~ ts official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times (tln) ~ Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that’s me yo, certify ya soon (tln) ~ “Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.”–Napoleon Bonaparte” (fb) ~ The acquisition of knowledge allows room for growth. That’s only if and when you are willing too grow. (fb) ~ “Philosophy consists very largely of one philosopher arguing that all others are jackasses. He usually proves it, and I should add that he usually proves that he is one himself.” — H.L. Mencken (fc) ~ “In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” – MLK (fb) ~ With Due Respect, I apologize if the contents hereunder are contrary to your moral ethics. But please treat with absolute secrecy and confidentiality. I am Dr. Ouadrago Mathieu, currently retired director general & former auditor for banquet de l’ habitat ; Ouagadougou Burkina Faso, while reviewing the current items decease account relating to the decease bank customer , I discover sum of $ 9.2 million united state dollars only yet to our unsatisfactory organs and un able to indicated the true beneficiary owned to these funds. I need your kind jestures, willing fully to assist me in transferring these funds into your account. If you are interesting, i will focus your sight to inherit these funds. Contact me at: ouadragomathiu@yahoo.com Hoping your information. Dr. Ouadrago Mathieu.~ This video has been reported to be age-restricted. Dailymotion understands that some content may not be appropriate for all users. We provide a Family Filter so that you can choose the content best suited to your personal interest.Turning OFF the Family Filter may display content that is only suitable for viewers over 18 years of age. ~ Click the button below if you are over 18 and would like to turn OFF the Family Filter. ~ Благодарение на интереса и желанието на участниците миналата седмица, правим второ издание на групово дишане в София — на 12 юни 2012, от 19:30 ч. отново в Юнити. Заповядайте! :) (fb) ~ herndondavis@aol.com When you discussed the violence in our society, you forget the verbal violence of the Jesus Worship Church. Preachers verbally abuse their flock every sunday, and they say glory amen. Is it any wonder that many so called men of G-d have anger management issues? This goes for white preachers as well… the color of your skin is not a valid excuse. ~ CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: This message is for the designated recipient only and may contain privileged or confidential information. If you have received it in error, please notify the sender immediately and delete the original. Any other use of this email is prohibited. IRS Circular 230 Disclosure: Under U. S. Treasury regulations, I am required to inform you that any tax advice contained in this e-mail or any attachment hereto is not intended to be used, and cannot be used, to avoid penalties imposed under the Internal Revenue Code. ~ @KimKardashian Gonna challange myself today at the gym! (tw) ~ @BorowitzReport Getting your news from Twitter is like asking a cat for directions. (tw) ~ @BorowitzReport Patriotic billionaires: instead of funding yet another superPAC, maybe build an emergency room? (tw) ~ @BorowitzReport The gender gap the GOP is dealing with may have to do with women’s irrational desire to control their own bodies. (tw) ~ Redirected from Jesus Christ · Public Figure · Corona, California Description above from the Wikipedia article Jesus, licensed under CC-BY-SA full list of contributors here. Community Pages are not affiliated with, or endorsed by, anyone associated with the topic. (fb) ~ If any of my friends, associates, or members of the global community feel that being connected to me on here will compromise their safety (as a minority and/or member of an oppressed group (or “groups”)) and incite oppression on them for certain content posted (LGBTQ/feminist/queer/radical community organizing/etc. media), I encourage you to close our connection on here for your safety and disregard any concerns about how it will be received by me, because it’s perfectly okay. We all live in different circumstances and your safety matters. We can certainly stay connected through other means as well. Love, peace, comfort, and solidarity. (fb) ~ Also, if you “unfriend” me for reasons of disagreeing with me or just don’t want to really connect with me, I respect your decision and your person. (fb) ~ @BorowitzReport Prescriptions for ADHD have increased over the past six years. In other news, Twitter was founded six years ago. (tw) ~ @BorowitzReport There are few things more gratifying in life than being attacked by someone who can’t spell. (tw) ~ @BorowitzReport Obama will find Romney harder to stop than bin Laden because at least with bin Laden he knew his exact position. (tw) ~ @BorowitzReport Dear people talking loudly into your cellphones: Please try to make your conversations more interesting to listen to. (tw) ~ ‏@BorowitzReport If we banned political ads, it would be interesting to see if billionaires who say they love America would spend their money on America. (tw) ~ @BorowitzReport We took cigarette ads off TV because they were bad for our nation’s health. So why not do the same for political ads? (tw) ~ ‏@historyweird 1899: The Imperial Palace makes public news of the Guangxu emperor’s impotence, his renal and urinary pains, and his eczema of the scrotum. (tw) ~ ‏@historyweird 324BC: A sobbing Alexander the Great stays in bed with the corpse of his general & lover, Hephaistion, for two whole days and nights. (tw) ~ ‏@historyweird c.70AD: To increase sexual appetite, Pliny suggests wearing the right testicle of an ass, tied to the wrist as a bracelet. (tw) ~ @historyweird 1326: London’s coroner finds that Richard le Rakiere died of drowning – after his latrine seat collapsed, dropping him into a full cesspit. (tw) ~ @historyweird 1140: William of Malmesbury claims that Henry I (who had several concubines & 24 bastard children) is “completely free of fleshly lusts”. (tw) ~ @historyweird 1936: Hitler is snapped hugging US Olympic runner Helen Stephens – and flies into a rage, beating up the photographer & smashing his camera. (tw) ~ @historyweird 1603: In Landes, 13yo Jean Grenier, confesses to being a werewolf, eating children and raping maidens. He is declared insane and locked up. (tw) ~ @historyweird c.79AD: Latin graffito from a walled lane at Pompeii: “Hic ego cum veni futui, deinde redei domi” (“I came here, had sex, then went home”). (tw) ~ ‏@historyweird c.120: Pollux writes that at Athenian weddings, the best man guards the bedroom door – to stop the bride’s friends entering if she screams. (tw) ~ @historyweird 1788: British surgeon Worgan is very tempted by naked Australian women – but put off by the “excrementitious matter” coming from their noses (tw) ~ @BorowitzReport I am starting a petition to rename Michigan “Michvagina.” Please RT, this is important. (tw) ~ @BorowitzReport Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Give a man Twitter, and he will forget to eat and starve to death. (tw) ~ @BorowitzReport It’s important to turn off our computers & do things in the real world, or we won’t have anything to tweet about. (tw) ~ @BorowitzReport “I need to do extensive reading on this complex subject before I give an educated opinion.” — Web comment that has never been made (tw) ~ @BorowitzReport Only a billion more lies till the election. (tw) ~ You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever. (tln) ~ The ultimate Father’s Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop. (tln) ~ I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I’m pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza (tln) ~ Don’t ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs. (tln) ~ It summer and it’s getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents. (tln) ~ The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN. (tln) ~ Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable… (tln) ~ Can I just say that you’re probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am? (tln) ~ @BorowitzReport China will launch a manned space mission this summer, around the same time the US launches the 6th season of Jersey Shore (tw) ~ @borowitzreport: The NY Times print edition is a great way to test ur memory of what u read yesterday online. (tw) ~ ‏@DailyCurmudgeon woman was arrested for making meth inside a Walmart, which has a strict policy against American-made products. (tw) ~ “@BorowitzReport: Saying you’ll unfollow someone on Twitter is a threat akin to turning down a free pizza flyer on the street.” (tw) ~ ‏@chrisguillebeau Struggling to Fill #2 Post, Al-Qaeda Resorts to LinkedIn — http://aonc.co/LSaHvV (tw) ~ “Had Constantine chosen to embrace paganism when he moved to consolidate his power throughout the Roman sphere of influence, christianity would be nothing today.”—Unknown. (fb) ~ MEMBER QUOTE OF THE DAY: Post your own Atheist quote that is of “YOUR OWN INTELLECTUAL CREATION” in the comment section below. The member quote that gets the most likes by other members will have their quote posted tomorrow morning. RULES: 1. One quote per person. you can vote more than once. 2. No Plagiarized Material, plagiarized quotes will be deleted. 3. No Debating or personal opinions on this thread, quotes only 4. Use intelligence not profanity. 5. No campaigning for votes. (fb) ~ “Religion… It’s like a bunch of women fighting over who has the biggest penis.”–Ali Mangalji (fb) ~ @BorowitzReport: The American political system: where billions are spent to find candidates the voters hate. (tw) ~ @BorowitzReport: Starbucks bought a baked goods chain to improve their food. Now they have to buy a coffee chain and they’re good to go. (tw) ~ @BorowitzReport: The New York Times print edition is a great way to test your memory of what you read yesterday online. (tw) ~ @BorowitzReport: I wonder if when the Chinese bought America they knew that it included Arizona. (tw) ~ @BorowitzReport: Sunday Thought: Rapture would be awesome if it meant all the people who believe in it would suddenly be gone. (tw) ~ This Week’s Member Quote of The Day Competition Winner: “Religion is the root of all evil, money just funds it.”–Samuel Kerby (fb) ~ Matt K. Lewis made a comment about cultural changes in the sixties. This seemed a bit odd, since Mr. Lewis would seem to be 35 at the absolute oldest. The murder of John Kennedy took place in 1963, at least 12 years before Mr. Lewis was born. Neither wikipedia, facebook, nor a blog biography listed a date of birth. Perhaps Mr. Lewis is a space alien. ~ For the sake of the writers’ ideas, ‘less is more’ is a proverb to be applied to candy and glue, not to aphorisms. —Catherine Lentini (Aph) ~ To rebel one must wear the right uniform. —Devan Marques (Aph) ~ Be your own definition. —Amanda Haggerty (Aph) ~ Secure your own mask before helping others. —Jan-Erik Asplund (Aph) ~ There’s no point criticizing the rules of a game you can’t change; you’ve just got to learn them and play them as best as you can. —Corey Ecay (Aph) ~ You can only understand the power of language once you have lost it. —Lauren Glading (Aph) ~ I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today’s off to a good start. (tln) ~ Dude. Get me out of here. I’m surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it. (tln) ~ He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero (tln) ~ you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs (tln) ~ i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us (tln) ~ If 26 stitches didn’t sober her up, nothing will. (tln) ~ Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke….and then do it (tln) ~ at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool (tln) ~ Sometimes a dumb thing is a thing worth saying. —Alan Dupont (Aph) ~ College is a place where the people who need it least are told things that the world needs to know. —Dylan Scott (Aph) ~ Visit a city to observe the behavior of animals. —Anna Eckert-Kramer (Aph) ~ First impressions are the last chance to impress. —Lila Cutter (Aph) ~and of course the ‘entire community is made up of charlatans, wishful thinkers, randroids, internet utopians, and outright hucksters wallowing in an orgy of scams and piss poor resource management desperately trying to convince more people to buy in and secure their positions in The New Zillionaires’ thing (fb) ~ Conservative, Liberal, and Libertarian are aligned with the bowel movement. chamblee54 ~ Well, the contest is over and I did not win dinner for two with President Obama, hosted by Sarah Jessica Parker at her home in New York. To be honest, I’m more disappointed about not meeting Sarah Jessica Parker than about not meeting President Obama. I was going to give the president the books “Occupy” by Noam Chomsky and “The Big Book of Christian Mysticism” by Carl McColman, then send him on his way so I could stay up all night drinking Cosmos with Sarah Jessica. I was going to wear my lavender dress shirt with my Scottish tartan necktie. It was going to be fabulous. (fb) ~ I maintain that the translations of Jesus saying love thy neighbor were incorrect. What he really said was to be kind to your neighbor. One is a thought, the other is an action. What you do is more important that what you think…. Unable to post comment. Try Again … maybe facebook doesn’t agree with me (fb) ~ @michaelbd Why won’t the Vatican recognize the life experiences of sincere Christians who happen to find great good in orgies? tw ~ Selah