Goodbye Mr. Carlin

A few months ago, I put a post up about George Carlin. I am going to repeat myself in a minutes, but not before I ponder a line in the original story. “At this point, a look at wikipedia is in order. I was wondering if Mr. C was alive, or if I somehow missed something.”
I was only a marginal fan of Mr. Carlin, but I admire a man who succeeds. The fact that he was a success, and could hang on to his integrity, is sweet. With his lifestyle, making 71 is pretty good.
As for wondering if I missed something, I do that all the time. Through a bit of internet curiosity last night, I found the story of the arrest of Larry Sinclair. Mr. Sinclair made his clebrity with the dubious claim of an affair with BHO. He rented a room at the National Press Club to talk about himself, and left in handcuffs. A man with outstanding warrants should not be seeking publicity. Even if nature made his attorney wear a kilt.
George Carlin was a satirist, among other things. I doubt he could make up anything like the Larry Sinclair story.
Here is the original post.

Is George Carlin really that funny?
I saw a link to a routine about euphemisms at AtlMalcontent. I suspect that Malcontent is a euphemism, but who knows.
So, I have too much time, and I click on the link. Mr. C makes a bunch of obvious jokes about the evasion procedures we conduct with the King’s english. There is a link here somewhere, and maybe an embedded screen if I can get that gizmo to work.
One night, Lenny Bruce was performing in Chicago, when the police decided to review the show. Mr. Bruce was taken prisoner by the fuzz. The authorities decided to make the audience members show ID to get out, and one man loudly objected, and was arrested. The man was George Carlin.
Mr. C began to be popular about the time I was about to graduate from High School. I heard the album about the Seven Words you cannot say on television once, which is enough. They all refer to body parts and body functions, and it does say something about our culture that these words are demonized like they are.
At this point, a look at wikipedia is in order. I was wondering if Mr. C was alive, or if I somehow missed something.
He is from New York.
His real name is Carlin.
He was the first guest host on Saturday Night Live.
In 1961, he married Brenda Hosbrook. The couple was together until her death in 1997.

Motivation

this test uses a slogan, that is a copyrighted trademark….this speaker i heard once used to call his routine the same thing, and i have a post i want to write about him
that is strange
and what are you going to write
well, the slogan is c**** u* f*** t** n*** u*//// just about his speech, it was 95 percent bs but there were a couple of good comments
he was a right wing a.h., and that turned me off to him big

time…made a snide comment about ted kennedy and mary jo kopechne that i thought was way out of bounds
really
yea…he was a neighbor of one of the shops at a company i worked for…we traded some printing for his speech
i can’t stand narrowminded people
some people see motivational speakers as being entertaining, but it sets off my bs detector
lol i feel the same way

Back when I was at redo blue, we traded some printing for a motivational speech.
The man was D. J. Harrington. He came on stage with a telephone handset, which he used to show how to answer the telephone. There were a lot of statistics, like you get 50 percent more information when you use your left ear. ( This is a made up example, not a quote. I don’t remember any of his examples) It reminded me of something a teacher said once…: ” The best way to win an argument is to use statistics. The best way to get statistics is to make them up”
On the all important issue of what to say when you answer the squawk box, he suggested “How may I direct your call?” Now, I like to identify the company and myself as briefly as possible, and quit wasting the customer’s time. The customer knows why he called. HMIDYC is seven unnecessary syllables that do your customer no good.
As some of you know, I have a sensitive BS detector. This gets in the way of being “motivated”. When confronted with a entertainer motivational speaker, I try to glean one or two worthwhile tidbits. I give D.J.H. credit, he did make one comment I remembered. “You must sell yourself first, your company second, and your product third” There are some idea mongers who feel that I owe them my trust. I beg to differ.
Mr. Harrington used to call his dog and pony show “C*** U* F*** T** N*** U*.That phrase is currently a registered trademark of the Mood Disorders Association of Ontario and may be used with permission only.
Redo Blue was a diverse company. I suspect D.J.H. toned down some of the good ole boy touches from his presentation. Towards the end, he described a speech he gave in a medium town in Oklahoma. “The only Catholics they have ever seen are Ted Kennedy and Mary Jo Kopechne” He proceeded to tell a tasteless story about the Catholic Church. I was almost motivated to walk out.

W.M.D. made in the U.S.A.

In March of 1988, Iraq used poison gas to kill a lot of people in Halabja (ha lahb jah). A largely Kurdish town near the Iranian border, Halabja was the scene of much resistance to the War that Iraq and Iran were waging.
The United States was “tilting” towards Iraq in this conflict. When Iraq invaded Iran ( probably with the encouragement of the United States), Iran was holding Americans hostage at the embassy in Tehran. This was a source of much anger towards Iran, and would be reason for America to support Iraq.
The support for Iraq took the form of financial aid, shared intelligence, and a blind eye to Iraqi use of weapons of mass destruction. After the massacre in Halabja, The United States blamed Iran.
There is also the question of where Iraq got the poison gas. Saddam was executed before he could go to trial on charges related to Halabja.
There is also evidence that Iran was involved. According to Libcom.org “On 13 March 1988 chemical bombs were dropped on Halabja. No Pasdaran nor Peshmargan were killed. The Iranian soldiers had left on the day before or on the morning of the massacre. The Peshmargan continued to surround the city. Some had gas masks.”

Survivors said the gas smelled like sweet apples. Many thousands died at once, most of them women and children. Many more died in the years to come of the effects of the gas.
The International Herald Tribune has an excellent piece on the massacre. A key quote: “Some of those who engineered the tilt today are back in power in the Bush administration. They have yet to account for their judgment that it was Iran, not Iraq, that posed the primary threat to the Gulf; for building up Iraq so that it thought it could invade Kuwait and get away with it; for encouraging Iraq’s weapons of mass destruction programs by giving the regime a de facto green light on chemical weapons use; and for turning a blind eye to Iraq’s worst atrocities, and then lying about it.
It is well known the the W.M.D. program was the excuse for the war in Iraq, not the reason. It is also known that Iraq DID use chemical weapons in the war with Iran. The questions of where these weapons came from, and where they went, have not been answered.
Spell check suggestions for this feature:
Halabja- Calabash, Alabama, Malabar, Salable, Halalled
Pasdaran- Paranoid, Adlefaran. Jacranda
Peshmergan- Freshman, margarine, Margaret, Englishman
de- ed , ode, ade, die, doe, due, den, dew

Two Quizzes

Your Language Arts Grade: 81%

You’re getting warmer. Remember, possessive pronouns don’t have apostrophes but contractions do. Oh, and word processing grammar checkers often lie.

Are You Gooder at Grammar?
Make a Quiz

When there is nothing else to write about, you can always take an online test.
There are two in this feature. The first is “Are you gooder at grammar?”
I am embarrassed to admit that I only got 81% on this. Maybe I should whine about trick questions.
This one is heavy on the words that sound alike, but are spelled different. Whose/who’s, your/you’re, and its/it’s are prominently featured. I should know that one is possessive and one is an contraction using a verb. One complaint is the lack of an answer page. This prevents one from learning from mistakes.

What Religion Would Accept You Your Result: Buddhism Enlightenment will be yours, devout Buddhist. You will achieve transcendence through meditation and Kung Fu. You have a deep and abiding respect and knowledge of the balance of nature and all living things. Cool. You like a ninja…only magical. :O
Hinduism
Obscure Cult
Atheist
Jewish
Cristianity, Casual
Muslim
Christianity, Firebrand
What Religion Would Accept You See All Our Quizzes

The second half of this double feature is “What religion would accept you?” Some of the available options were better here. Like question 3: 3. What created the universe? a god /some gods /big bang/ beats me When did it become such a sin to admit that you don’t know?
As some of you know, I am a recovering Baptist. I have numerous issues with the business of Jesus Worship. However, I am too occidental to be a Buddhist.
So guess which religion this test assigns me? Yea, up there with half of Asia. Couldn’t I just settle for an occasional dim sum?
A problem with many online quizzes is the multiple choice format. You wind up making the least wrong choice, or the Lester of the four evils. I was amused by this option: 11. Do you live as you were raised? Of course, everyone else EATS their children/ Largely/ People do that?? There was a cartoon once. There was a meeting of the Adult Children of Normal People. There was one person in the auditorium. So I should be a Buddhist. What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.
Spell check suggestions for this feature:
gooder- guider, golder, gooier, goober, go oder

Oil Shale

“Oil shale is the fuel of the future, and always will be,” goes a popular saying in Western Colorado.

There is a lot of talk these days about oil. Many blame the cost of oil on the reluctance of The United States to drill in certain parts of our territory. This view is especially popular on talk radio. Many suspect radio talkers of being on the oil industry payroll.
One of the sources of energy considered today is oil shale. This mineral is found in large quantities in Colorado, Utah, and Wyoming. It became well known in the energy boom of the seventies, but fell out of favor until recently.
Extraction of petroleum from the shale is a mess. Essentially, you heat the rock until the oil comes out. The process uses a lot of water, and leaves a great deal of nasty cooked rock behind.
There are some proposals to sink heating towers into the earth and cook the oil out in the ground. That sounds awfully complicated, expensive, and dangerous to this reporter.
The extraction of oil from the earth is a messy matter. It is not like when Jed Clampett fired his rifle at a rabbit and crude oil poured out . When you dig a hole several miles into the ground, lots of mud will come up and need to be disposed of. Apparently, the extraction of oil from shale is little better.
There is speculation that research into oil shale production was halted in the eighties at the request of the Saudis and the Bush Family.
Another concern is the water this production would use. As we found out in Georgia last year, water shortages are for real. The search for alternative energy must keep water usage in mind. This is also an issue with Nuclear Energy.

Microbes that Produce Oil

This morning, I was driving into work and listening to radio whiners. This was the first day of going in at 1030, and the whine tasting was in full bloom.
Laura Ingraham has been out of action for a while. Her replacement was more annoying, which I did not think possible. The lady was talking about gay marriage, and made chicken little look like an optimist.
Neal Boortz laughs at those who are apoplectic about California Marriage. He was talking about a genetically engineered microbe. This faux bug will eat waste matter, and excrete petroleum. The thought occurred that a whiner screeching about gay marriage is very similar to a microbe that produces crude oil….though not as useful
Now comes word the the Eat More Chikin cow will be leading fans in the tomahawk chop. This brings back memories of the Braves’s first mascot in Atlanta.
In 1966, the carpetbaggers Braves moved to Atlanta from Milwaukee. They built a teepee in the outfield, and installed a man in it ( he may or may not have been a native American). Chief Knock a Homa would come out of the teepee and dance when the home team hit a home run.
After the novelty wore off, and the Braves settled into last place, rumors spread that the Chief was enjoying firewater in the teepee during the games. When the home team is losing 100 games a year, this is to be expected.
In 1982, the Braves put a good team together and made it to first place. In August, the teepee was taken down. There were football bleachers in the outfield, and a teepee got in the way. After the Knockahoma palace was taken down for the season, the Braves lost 19 of 21 games. They still finished the year in first place, only to get clobbered in the N.C.L.S.

The other day I published a feature titled ” Painted Like Cows”. The search engines sent me a lot of traffic that day.
Atlanta is hometown to a fast food chain. Their ad mascot is a cow, which does not know how to spell.
So, on the Judge’s website , there were pictures of naked women painted to look like cows. Were they holding up signs that said “Eat more Chikin”?

Yahoo and CNN put together a list of ways to increase gas mileage. Most are common sense, like don’t drive too fast or tailgate. But then, horse sense went out of fashion with the buggies.
CNN has a lot of cell phone companies that advertise, and they did delete one item from the list. A study has shown that cell phone usage while driving lowers your gas mileage. It has something to do with the satellite signals going into the cell phone interfering with the electronic devices in your vehicle.

There is a blog called twentytwo words that I read. The concept of saying things with few words is to be admired. The trouble with saying things every day, though, is that sooner or later you will say something that I don’t agree with.
I have an issue with the emphasis on life after death in Jesus Worship. What happens to you after death is simply not a good focus for a spiritual discipline.
And so we find this post:
“5 observations about hell from Revelation 14:9-11—1. It’s eternal…2. It involves the suffering of those who are there…3. It is conscious suffering..4. It is God-inflicted suffering…5. It is righteous.” And in the comment thread, there is this: ”I think this is what makes the Gospel and salvation so sweet.” So, lets understand what is being said here. A “kind and Loving” G-d is going to inflict eternal suffering on his children, because they don’t agree with the ideas of one religion. And this eternal suffering (for others) is what makes this one religion so sweet.
That does not work for me.

Tough Act to Follow

The Governor was speaking to a group of reporters. He was announcing the appointment of a Black man to the Selective Service Board in some Georgia town. The reporter said it was the first Black man to serve on a draft board since reconstruction. What did the Governor think about this?
The Governor said “Gee” The screen returned to the Channel Five newsroom. The men at the desks were all laughing. The weatherman looked up at the camera and said ” Thats a tough act to follow”
Whatever you might say about Lester Maddox…and there is no shortage of bad things to say…there has never been a public official that entertaining.
As for being a tough act to follow, the next Governor was Jimmy Carter.
As for the weatherman, this reporter saw him in a parking lot once. It was raining heavily. The “Gray Ghost” looked at me with an ironic smile, as if to say “I am sorry”.

Fathers Day

This is a re-post of this story. I wrote this last year. I published this on Mothers Day.

Luther Campbell McKinnon Sr. was born February 22, 1916, on a farm in Rowland, North Carolina. Europe was stuck in a war that would change the world, and not until The United States got involved. This didn’t happen for another year.
Luke was the youngest of four children. After life as a farm boy, he went to Wake Forest University, and then came back when his Daddy died. He ran a family dairy for a few years, and went to live in New Jersey. He lived near a prison, and saw the lights in the neighborhood dim when the electric chair was used.
In the early fifties, he came to Atlanta to live. This was where his beloved sister Sarah stayed with her husband and two daughters. One day he went into the C&S bank on 10th street, and took notice of one of the tellers. A few months later he married her. Jean Dunaway was his devoted wife for the rest of his life.
At some point in this era he started selling shoes. He would go to warehouses, gas stations, and wherever barefoot men needed shoes. He was “The Shoe Man” .
Before long there were two boys, and he bought a house, then another. The second house is the current residence of my brother and myself, and is probably worth 15 times what he paid for it. He had the good fortune to not buy in an area that was “blockbusted” in the sixties, as so many neighborhoods were.
And this was his life. He tended a garden, went to the gym, and was in the Lions Club for many years. When he met Mom, she let him know that going to church with her was part of the deal. They found a church that was good for their needs and made many friends there. The Pastor at Briarcliff Baptist, Glen Waldrop, was his buddy.
Glen had a great story when he spoke at Dad’s funeral. Luke was selling him some shoes, and said they would be so comfortable you would get up an hour early every day to wear them.
A few weeks later, Luke asked Glen how he liked the shoes. ” The shoes are great, but I am about to die from lack of rest”.

When I think of the character of this man, there is one night, which stands out. My brother was away at the time. The day before, Mom had discovered she had a detached retina, and was in the hospital awaiting surgery. Her job had arranged a “leaf tour” by train in North Georgia, and she got one of her friends at work to take me. There was some mechanical trouble on the train, and it did not get back into town until 3am Monday morning. And yet, Daddy stayed at home, did not panic, and had faith that all of us would be back soon, which we were.
Through all the struggles of his life, Dad was cheerful, laughed a lot, and was good company. He left me with a rich repertoire of country sayings, and had many stories to tell. He was surprising mellow about black people, if a bit old fashioned. (In the south when I grew up, this was highly unusual).
Dad was always in good, vigorous health, and I thought he would be with us for a long time. Well, that is not how things work. A cancer developed in his lungs (he did not smoke), and spread to his liver before it was discovered. After a mercifully brief illness, we lost him on February 7, 1992. This was a few months after the Braves made it to the World Series, which greatly surprised many of us.

In your Ear

One of the regular stops on this computer is EarthtoDavid. ETD is a country man living in Opelika, Alabama. Recently, he started a “fitness journal”.
Now, there are two ways to see this sort of blogging. You can say it is narcissistic and ignore it. Or you can read and enjoy it. Both answers are correct, which is the beauty of the Internet.
Part of this journal is the songs on his mp3 player while he walks. Now, I have a thing about listening to the world when I am outside. As I commented: “I like to walk and bicycle. However, I do not own an mp3 player. I like to listen to the birds, wind, and the freight trains. There is so much to hear and enjoy in the world, and you miss it when you listen to recorded music.” ETD was a big enough man not to be offended by that, and the next day : ” that is what I did. It was really nice to hear the raindrops falling on my umbrella as well as the tree frogs, birds chirping, fish jumping in the water out on the lake, some swimmers out in the water throwing frisbee and enjoying a light rainy evening and seeing the sun settle down behind a thick blanket of rain clouds.”
Part of this journal is a picture of ETD at the top of the post. I began to notice to telltale wire of the mp3 player. I realize that when he is walking around the lake, he is doing it for the benefits, and not because of what he looks like. Nonetheless, I felt obligated to share this: ” One more comment about mp3 players. Going by the pictures that accompany these posts, you look better without a wire hanging out of your ear.
I have a bit of history/baggage here. I worked for a long time across the room from an earplug listener. His desk was in front of my work station, so when I was doing my job I was looking at him. He looked like an idiot with that reverse colostomy bag hooked up to him. There is a lot more to this story…he was an abusive Jesus Worshiper …but seeing hundreds of hours of him listening to his preaching tapes was the icing on the cake.”
Life is a matter of personal connections. You connect things to people in your life. And so it is with earplugs and the Professional Jesus Worshiper. ( I see Jesus in the words and deeds of his believers).
When you are seen listening to an earplug at work, you are making a statement that you do not like what you hear there.You want to listen to something else. Sometimes this is not a big deal, and may in fact may be a good thing. However, when you are in a viable customer service position, and you feel you are making a statement by listening to “The Word of G-d”… It is a gesture of disrespect to your employer and co workers.
The material on the reverse colostomy bag was NOT the Word of G-d. An argument could be made that the sound of birds singing is.
Spell check suggestions for this feature.
Opelika- apelike, angelika, ophelia, Pelican, copeland
visable- viable, disable, visible

Painted Like Cows

I recently decided to use initials to refer to the Presidential Candidates. Here is why:

01.Initials use fewer keystrokes than names.
02. BHO looks like a do gooder agency that fights hunger. JSM looks like a conglomerate. There is poetry to both.
03. This is a subtle reminder that the H in BHO is Hussein.
04. BHO is 246 on the telephone keypad. JSM is 576.
05. BHO is ahead of JSM in the alphabet.
06. Mrs. O is a lawyer, accused of being a communist. Mrs. M is an heiress, accused of being a drug addict.
07. BHO supported a loudmouth preacher. JSM dropped napalm on Vietnamese children.
08. A Judge got in trouble about pornography on his website. There was an image of naked women painted to look like cows.
09. BHO and JSM have shady friends.
10. Even if we drill in wilderness Alaska, we will still run out of oil. We need to develop other sources of energy.
11. A radio whiner asked whether BHO’s supporters should support him, just because he is the same color. I ask the same thing about JSM and me.
12. BHO smokes cigarettes. JSM has had skin cancer.
13. This was written on Friday the Thirteenth. It has been a pretty good day, numerological superstition aside.( Or maybe that is ignorance of numbers, rather than knowledge).
14. BHO lived for many years in Chicago. JSM has been tortured in North Vietnam.
15. Nuclear Energy is big government. It is dangerous, requires constant supervision, and the fuel can be used to make weapons. None of this is true about Solar.
16. If we had invested the money in Solar that has been invested in Nukes, we would be using solar power for our needs. The government, banks, and oil companies do not want to lose control of you.
17. BHO used marijuana and cocaine when he was young. JSM liked to party before he went to Vietnam.
18. BHO is married to his first wife. There is controversy about JSM and his first wife.
19. BHO sounds better than BO. There is no equivalent for JSM, and we should be fair.