Decatur Book Festival part two

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on August 31, 2008

The old courthouse in Decatur is nice inside, but not terribly ornate. Aside from the marble walls and stairs, and a spiffy exterior, it is just another old building. It is a reminder that Dekalb used to be a mostly rural county, rather than the neighbor of World Marketing Headquarters. The booths were lined up on N. McDonough, Ponce de Leon, and the plaza by the Marta Station. People were everywhere, especially on the Marta Plaza. There was a children’s stage there. Someone was reading some awful poetry when I walked by. During the questions for the authors, the subject of obituaries was discussed. I got to thinking about the differences in “funeralizing” between white and black. I got to looking around the room, and could not see a single dark face. Later, when the crowd was leaving, I did see a black woman. Self publishing a book is an act of faith. I wonder if people make it worthwhile. There were a bunch of authors who had booths to sell their self published work. I talked to a lady who was telling the story of the courthouse shootings. A publisher told her, I will publish your book if you put in four chapters about Brian Nichols. That wasn’t the story the lady wanted to tell. I hope she sold enough books to justify spending labor day weekend in a booth outdoors. There was people watching galore. People of all ages, colors, and description were there. There were even a few dogs. The dominant type did seem to be the middle aged woman who goes belongs to a book club. There was a booth promoting a place called the Wrens Nest. It was the home of Joel Chandler Harris, who wrote the Uncle Remus books. At one time, the Wrens Nest was a tourist attraction, but has fallen on downhill times. Now, people are trying to bring it back. I mentioned “I have lived here all my life and never been to the Wrens Nest” “I wish I had a dollar for every time I have heard that”

Decatur Book Festival part one

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on August 30, 2008

At first the idea of a book festival sounded very boring. Then I saw the ad announcing an appearance by Mary Kay Andrews.
Miss Andrews ( you always use Miss when referring to a pen name) has been my favorite author this summer. I found “Hissy Fit” at a yard sale, and have gotten three others at the library since then. Maybe she can sell something to Hollywood and make money on it.
I got to Decatur about noon, and parked at the First Baptist Church. It was my duty as a recovering Baptist. The old courthouse was easy to find, and as I walked in, I realized that I had never been in that building. By the time I was old enough to get traffic tickets, the county business had moved into a boring building across the street.
Going upstairs with minutes to spare before the lecture, I saw the author in the back of the crowd. I said
” you are my hero. I got Hissy Fit at a yard sale and four others at the library” Soon it was time for her to speak.
Her first comment was that it felt funny to be speaking in a courtroom. You can stop writing mysteries, but you are still a murder mystery writer.
While discussing where she got ideas for her stories, she told of the time she was driving kids to school in a carpool. There was a crew of convicts picking up trash by the road. She she realized if she had a gun, she could kill one and no one would know she did it.
Her love of “junking’ and antiques got a working over. There was the time when Miss Andrews and her friend Celestine Sibley were going to a funeral in South Carolina. The two ladies stopped repeatedly to look at antiques, and missed the service. They did arrive in time to eat some funeral food.
While plugging discussing her latest book “Deep Dish”, she mentioned the time she looked in the obituaries ( Irish sports page), and saw Ellen Kate Picklesheimer. The name made an impression on her, and she used it in her book, without the standout last name.
After Miss Andrews was through, a lady named N.M. Kelby read from her book “Murder at the Bad Girls Bar & Grill”. It was about a man who owned a bar in front of a housing development in Florida, and discovered a body one day in a dumpster. Miss Kelby had a freebie, a temporary tattoo advertising the Bad Girls Bar and Grill.
After the two ladies spoke, it was time to take questions. Miss Andrews told the story of how she wrote mysteries under her “real” name, and wanted to try something new under a different handle. That way, if it flopped then no one would be the wiser.
This was too predictable, so this reporter raised his hand.
“Why do so many people in the obituaries have funny names?” “Well, that is a question to ponder” It should be no surprise that Miss Andrews said this is the south, and we like funny names here. A man in the back of the house raised his hand. ” I work at a funeral home, and I have seen thousands of obituaries. We should get together and let you see them” ” Miss Kelby chimed in, and talked about ninety year old men who use childhood nicknames in their obituary.
Before much longer, this subject was exhausted, and the authors went into the Clark Harrison room to sign books.

A legend passes

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on August 28, 2008

It is with the saddest heart that I must pass on the following news. Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin.
Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs.Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he was still a crusty old man, and was considered a roll model for millions. Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly dad, Pop Tart.The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes. I am not clever enough to compose the above piece. Credit is hereby given to whoever wrote it.

Jack T. Chick

Posted in Religion by chamblee54 on August 26, 2008

Jack Thomas Chick is someone you know, but have never heard of. He created the gospel tract.
Go to his site, and you can read his story. Born in California in 1924, he seemed an unlikely candidate for religious superstardom. After a turn in the Army, he became a Jesus Worshiper. In 1948 he married Lola Lynn Riddle, who he describes as being ” instrumental in his salvation”. He hit on the idea for the palm sized comic book for Jesus, and an artform was formed.

The tracts sell for fifteen cents each, or a 25 pack for $3.75.
The tracts are the result of a rather narrow view of Jesus. The King James Bible is the perfect word of G-d. The tracts have a last page, with instructions on how to be “saved”. Anyone who disagrees is going to go to hell.
Many of the tracts tell a story. A kid trusts a drug dealer, only to be disappointed. The Titanic is going to the bottom of the sea, and what will happen to the passengers. A man is about to commit suicide, and Jesus comes to the rescue.
Mr. Chick has a special distaste for the Catholic Church. He had an associate named Alberto Rivera. Mr. Rivera claimed to be an ex bishop of the church, who had been privy to some unsavory secrets. Many of his tracts proclaim conspiracy theories about the Church. Other targets of his scorn include Mormons, Muslims, Jehovah’s Witnesses, and almost anyone who does not fit his definition of being saved.

Jack Chick is his real name. Any drag queen using that name is probably not the same person. He is reclusive, is rarely photographed and does not give interviews. He drew his early tracts, until he hired a man named Fred Carter in 1972. Mr. Carter is a much, much better artist than Mr. Chick.
Mr. Chick has sold hundreds of millions of his tracts, translated into over 100 languages. Arguably he has sold more copies than any author working today.

Playing for Free

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on August 25, 2008

One of my blog heroes is Large Tony. He is going to retire soon, and will be missed.
He stays with his Granny in the hills of Tennessee. Yesterday, he was talking about once when he was up at Granny’s house as a young boy. They got up early one morning to see the wedding of Charles and Diana. I dare say the bond between them is more genuine than the bond between Charles and Diana.
I saw an earth changing event at my Gran’s house one day. ( And why do people say Granny, or Nana, or Gran? Its not like I remember having a choice ). Gran lived in a little apartment in Mrs. Stuckey’s house on Virginia Avenue. This was a few years before Virginia Highlands was  trendy. I was staying with her one summer day when I was ten years old.
We walked down to the granite house, next to the golf course in Piedmont Park. Gran’s friend worked there. This was the summer of Beatlemania, and Gran’s friend made a point of telling me that she DID NOT LIKE THE BEATLES.
” If The Beatles were playing for free across the street, I would not waste the energy to walk across the street to see them”.
Gran and I walked back to her apartment to see “As the World Turns”. The show was interrupted for a news bulletin. Walter Cronkite came on the say that a North Vietnamese boat had fired on an American boat in the Gulf of Tonkin.
We did not know, at the time, that this was a world changing event.I doubt Gran ever thought much about it. But our Congress used that incident… which turned out to be largely fabricated… to justify our sending many more troops to fight in Vietnam. That war was a world changing event. We are still dealing with the effects of that conflict.

The golf course trail

Posted in Undogegorized by chamblee54 on August 24, 2008

When PG arrived at Chastain Park, a slight drizzle was starting to fall. Within a minute, it had increased to something that could be called rain. Then Uzi arrived, and the downpour went away as quickly as it had arrived.
Uzi had a collection of umbrellas in his car, and loaned one to PG. He loathed carrying objects, and felt that the umbrella would get in the way of his camera. And it did not rain the rest of the walk, although it would have if the umbrellas had remained put away.
There was a road sign across from the park that said Power Ferry Road. Both hikers were certain that this was a mistake, and that the Powers should be plural. A look at a map later confirmed this.
A few doors down was the shoe mailbox. This mailbox was protected by Noble Security.
There are always dogs when people go to walk. PG learned a while back that people like to have pictures taken of their dogs. While most dogs are camera shy, today there were some exceptions.

The weather had been cool and breezy when the two decided to go walk the golf course loop. After the rain, there was a lot of steam in the air. This was not pleasant to walk in, and made the car A.C. appreciated on the way home.
Spell check suggestions for this feature:
chastain- chastity, chastise, chasten, chastely

Stumping Google

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on August 22, 2008

You can find out the doggonest stuff on the internet. Having google not like you is not that much of a handicap.
It started out when made my daily visit to Centurion. “Scent” is a Jesus Worshiper who has banned me from commenting. I have forgiven him, but I remain persona non grata. Such is life.
His blog has a place where you can do a google search. I appreciate such facilities, as google, for some reason, will not let me use their search engine. I find that I can access their algorithmic wonders through a third parties, and I wanted to see if “Scent” was good for that.
The phrase I entered was
“thrunombulax”. Thrunombulax is a phrase I have used to describe my planet of origin. It can be handy to have an alternate planet as a place of birth.
Well, google via “Scent” does not work. I went to another google proxy, WGST radio. WGST is the Atlanta home of Rush Limbaugh. Googleproxy does work there, but today the phrase
thrunombulax produced this result: Your search did not match any documents. My curiosity was whetted. I entelime the word thrunombulax into MSN and Yahoo search and I got the same result. A blogger called PiersGavestonJr had once used thrunombulax The passage in question went like this: Am I being called back to thrunombulax (the planet of my birth)?
6- My giving advice about depression is like Cynthia Mckinney (my representative in congress) giving advice about hair care.

What makes this so fascinating…this business of finding one usage of the phrase
thrunombulax on the internet…is the fact that thrunombulax originated with Frank Zappa. He put out an album once called “Live from L.A.”, and there was a song called “Cheepnis” on it. There was a giant poodle dog which the peasants of the valley called thrunombulax . Or so I thought. You would think that with all the song lyric sites, one of them would have “Cheepnis” and thrunombulax .
Back to MSN. Google can take their algorithms and do unspeakable things to Perez Hilton with them. A search for Frank Zappa lyrics landed me on a songlyric site. Before I could get to the goods on “Cheepnis”, there was a popup ad for Parental Internet Controls. I have a strong anti popup device on my computer, and it takes a strong popup to popup here. But I digress. After a few bandwidth crunching minutes , the lyrics to “Cheepnis” came up.
Frank Zappa spelled it “Frunombulax”.
Spell check suggestions for this feature:
fushcia- eustachian, auschwitz, katuscha, fustian
thrunombulax- perambulation, ambulatory
www- wow
parenting.htm- parenthetical, parenthesis, implementing
cheepnis- cheeps, sheepish, cheerios, cheeriness, cheekiness
google- goggle
grata- grate
McKinney- Mckinnon
frunombulax- perambulation, amubulation, thrunombulax

T shirt Friday

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on August 21, 2008

In more disreputable parts of the blogosphere, this is known as HNT. That stands for Half Naked Thursday. Now, this is a family blog, and Gomez and Morticia think I should keep it clean.
This picture was taken under the bridge behind Cherokee Plaza. I went there to take pictures of graffiti. Under a bridge is a good place to wear clothes.
This bridge was rebuilt before the MARTA line went through there. The old bridge was a lot of fun. It had a steep drop off after you went over the center of the top. If you were not driving slow your car would leave the ground, and fall back down with a lot of noise and busted parts.

Getting back to the HNT theme…even though it is Friday GMT now…we have pictures of some people who need to keep their clothes on, at least when they are in public. In the case of Senator Haircut…bless his heart…that man is a piece of work. This is not the first time he has been caught.
It is suggested that the Demos may be suffering from buyers remorse, and think that BHO is an unelectable turkey. The people I hear saying this are mostly wingnut radio whiners, who are about as neutral as the rasmussen poll.

The only problem with the BHO doubters is the prospect of Hillary making a run for the White House. Did anyone really want her in the oval office? AGAIN. America is much better off without hearing that laugh . And for those who would have her as the Vice Presidential selection, I have two words…Lyndon Johnson. LBJ as President was no accident.
The last selection in this collection is possibly photoshopped. Just like the 2000 election.

Speaking in Vain

Posted in Religion by chamblee54 on August 20, 2008

I have heard about the Rasmussen Report. It seems like the Gallup of the new age.
Recently, the reports show JSM pulling ahead of BHO. While it is a bit early, the candidates are fighting for momentum to carry them into November. America loves a winner. If a candidate is perceived to be winning, then more people will jump on the bandwagon. This applies to the war in babylon as well. Happy talk in the press is part of the surge strategy.
Peach Pundit had a story about another Rasmussen poll. I follow the link to the website. On the home page are two paid ads for JSM. HMMM.

In my unpaid role as resident non Jesus Worshiper, I left the following comment at TwentyTwoWords yesterday.
” I sometimes feel that I am the only non believer that comments here.
You might consider that not everyone is impressed by your religion.
Many shortcomings…selfishness, meanness, lack of respect for others…can be found in thoughtless, inappropriate preaching. Just because you are doing it for Jesus does not make it any less offensive. It also reflects poorly on Jesus”
To which another reader replied: “@Chamblee: You’re right, preachers can taint their own message. Can you expand on what you mean by thoughtless, inappropriate preaching?” Oh my. This is going to take more than twenty two words. I wonder if twenty two volumes could cover it all.
There are many, many examples of inappropriate preaching. I am just going to scratch the surface here. I would like to get out and ride my bike before it gets dark outside.
There are two quotes that help. One is from a motivational speaker:
“You need to sell yourself first, your company second, and your product third.” The second is the third commandment: “Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy G-d in Vain…”
Anyone can read to you from the Bible. Not everyone that does this has worthy motives. Some are crooks and thieves. For a person to preach to another, there needs to be TRUST. If you do not trust the person who is preaching to you, then that person is speaking in vain.
Trust has a brother named RESPECT. When you preach to a person who does not care for your message, you are showing disrespect to that person. When you preach without mutual respect you are speaking in vain.
This is not just the person you are talking to. It is everyone who comes in contact with your message. This is not just the words you speak, but your actions, the chrome fish on your car, the catchy phrase on your t shirt, and the Bible you make a show of carrying around. When you preach without trust and respect, you are speaking in vain.
We are all G-d’s children. When you disrespect the children of G-d, you disrespect G-d. And when you speak without trust and respect, you are speaking in vain.

Sunday at the Zoo

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on August 18, 2008

PG was busy in the studio when the phone rang. His friend Uzi usually called on Sunday, sometimes before noon. Lately the calls had been coming earlier and earlier. The absence of slack is disturbing.
“I got an idea for something we can do this afternoon. The zoo is letting county employees in free today. I will call between one and two”
PG had not been to the zoo since he was a kid. On one of those visits, he had gone with some neighbors. On the way back, they rolled up the windows, locked the doors, and drove through Underground Atlanta. This was before it was developed
the first time.
At two, PG and Uzi met at behind the Waffle House on Piedmont, and took PG’s honda to the zoo. They went through the tunnel on Boulevard, and on down to Grant Park. Turning off Boulevard, they saw a line of cars pulling out of the lot. There were no empty spaces in the first section of the lot, and the two decided to look for parking on a side street. Then, as if by magic, there was an empty parking spot.
The first non human animals that PG saw were flamingos. He thought they were made of pink plastic, but saw that they were more white than fuchsia. There were lots and lots of two legged animals, which was to be expected with county employees admitted free. Elephants were next, and then it was on to the pandas.
The pandas were in a chinese looking house. There was a fifteen minute wait to get in, and then you were encouraged to keep moving so others could get in for a look. The big panda was asleep, and looked like he was sleeping off a rough night. The baby panda was 110 pounds, and nibbled on bamboo leaves.
The orangutans were a bit more showmanlike, mugging for the multitudes. Then it was onto the reptile house. At the reptile house, PG saw a ten foot snake in a four foot box, and realized that this was an animal prison. The rest of the reptiles only served to make PG appreciate what freedom he had.
The rest of the outdoor animals had it a bit better. The faux wilderness on Cherokee Avenue was not the same as home. The fact that much of Africa is developed, civilized and torn by civil wars does not make it right.
The Lions were tending to some cubs, while the short noisy people crowded against the fence. Later, PG and Uzi had a discussion about this.
“Did you think about throwing one of those kids over the fence and feeding the lion? “ “Do you ever NOT think that?”
Before long, PG and Uzi had seen enough animals. The trip to the zoo was worth what they paid.

Left the Building

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on August 16, 2008

Today is August 16. At least here and now…according to GMT it will be the 17th soon.
On this day in 1958, Madonna was born.
On this day in 1977, Elvis left the building.
On this day in 1986, a Madonna fan died on his birthday. JoemyG-d has the story here.

Other births on this day include T.E. Lawrence (1888), Charles Bukowski (1920) Frank Gifford (1930) Edie Gorme'(1931) and Kathie Lee Gifford (1953). Other celebrities to check out include Babe Ruth (1948 ) Margaret Mitchell (1949) Bela Lugosi (1956) and Idi Amin (2003). Thank you Wikipedia.

In other news, the John Edwards affair just keeps getting stranger. There are some strange stories coming out about Rielle Hunter. She was born Lisa Gluck, and had the sense to change her name. She was a gf of Jay McInerney, who based a character on her. The story about the racehorse is a shocker.

Spell check suggestions for this feature:
Bukowski- Mankowski, Kowalski, Buckskin
Gorme’- Gore, Gorge
Idi- edi, ida, midi, didi, id
Amin- armin, amie, Main, amino. akin
Gluck- luck, cluck, pluck

Law and Order

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on August 15, 2008

1. Law of Mechanical Repair – After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to pee. 2. Law of Gravity – Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.3. Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act
.4. Law of Random Numbers – If you dial a wrong number, someone always answers.5. Law of the Alibi – If you tell the boss you were late for worbecause you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.6. Variation Law – If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (also works at bank and grocery every time). 7. Law of the Bath – When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings. 8. Law of Close Encounters -The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with. (doubles if attractive person of opposite sex) 9. Law of the Result – When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will. 10. Law of Biomechanics – The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.11. Law of the Theater – At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.. 12. The Starbucks Law – As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. 13. Murphy’s Law of Lockers – If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. 14. Law of Physical Surfaces – The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.15. Law of Logical Argument – Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about. Also known as Classing’s Imperative.16. Brown’s Law of Physical Appearance – If the clothes fit off the rack, they’re probably ugly. 17. Oliver’s Law of Public Speaking – A closed mouth gathers no feet. 18. Wilson’s Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy – As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.19. Doctors’ Law – If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you’ll feel better. Don’t make an appointment and you’ll stay sick.