Chamblee54

Twenty Two Words on The Popeye Club

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on December 16, 2008

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Abraham Piper at Twenty Two words has challenged his readers to tell a children’s story in twenty two words or less.
The prize for the best story is “The big picture storybook bible” and “the jesus storybook bible”.

PG would give those to someone if he won. It probably won’t happen. The pictures he chose will not help.

PG just thought it would be a good excuse for a post. He has thousands of pictures waiting to be used.

The story is true. The brownie scout troup from PG’s second grade class was on “The Popeye Club”. Here is the story:
The brownie scout asked Officer Don, the Popeye Club host, how TV works. He uh, uh , and called on someone else.

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Birthday Cake

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on December 16, 2008

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Those fun loving Campbells are at it again. The Clan Campbell is notorious in Scottish history, and lots of people will tell you about it.

PG does not have the patience for begot-laden history, but others do. It seems as though there was a conflict with the MacDonalds, and a rather ugly incident in 1692. This might explain why the golden arch people do not serve soup.

In the years to follow, Joseph A. Campbell started a soup company, whose labels inspired Andy Warhol. A singer named Glen Campbell sold millions of records, and had perfect hair.

The latest Campbell to make the news is
Adolph Hitler Campbell . The three year old resident of Holland Township, New Jersey is the sibling of JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell. The father, Heath Campbell, tried to get a birthday cake for young Adolph. The local Shop Rite store refused to put the name on the cake, saying it was inappropriate to send a birthday greeting to Adolph Hitler. A WalMart came to the rescue, and made a cake for young Adolph.
HT to JoemyG-d. Full Disclosure: PG has a close working relationship with someone who uses Campbell for a given name.

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Furman Bisher

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on December 15, 2008

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Live Apartment Fire weighs in today with an appreciation of Furman Bisher. For those who don’t know, Mr. Bisher writes about sports for the AJC, and is the former Sports Editor. The man is still producing at the age of 90.

Growing up in Atlanta meant reading his column in the Atlanta Journal. He managed to be somewhat controversial. Bear Bryant and Lewis Grizzard were not fans. In those days, the Constitution was a separate paper, with a sports editor named Jesse Outlar. PG called on Mr. Outlar one time, while selling little league raffle tickets.

Over the years, this reporter has read the fishwrapper less and less. Today, with the slow demise of dead tree journalism, the Cox monopoly paper struggles to survive. Mr. Bisher might even outlast this institution.

Furman Bisher ends his columns “selah”. Wikipedia says “Selah may be the most difficult word in the Hebrew Bible to translate.” The psalms were originally sung with musical instruments playing, and breaks in the narrative were noted with selah.

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Poison and Brian Nichols

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on December 13, 2008

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Brian Nichols will not be poisoned by the state. An extremely expensive trial is over. There was little doubt that he killed the people in the courtroom. The only thing at issue is how to punish him.

The verdict comes 45 months after the shootings. If he were to be sentenced to death, it would take at least another fifteen years for the needle to be inserted. This is not swift justice.

Arguably, Brian Nichols is a monster who deserves to die. What he did in the courtroom needs to be punished. After a while,though, you have to wonder about the cost of this trial, and the effect that this has on the overall justice system. Maybe the money spent defending Nichols could have been better utilized on other indigents.

There is a possibility of a federal death penalty trial. Mr. Nichols allegedly killed a customs officer named David Wilhelm. While there would be satisfaction for some at getting a death penalty verdict, is the cost of a new trial really worth it?

The story is that Mr. Nichols confronted Mr. Wilhelm at a house the agent was renovating in Buckhead. How Mr. Nichols wound up at a jobsite in Buckhead, after escaping the courthouse downtown, and arrived at the home improvement project of a federal agent… this is another mystery in this case.

Will an execution in 2023 will deter people from beating up a guard, stealing his weapon, and killing the judge…this is another question for wiser men to ponder.

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When Dogs Fly and You Clean Up

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on December 13, 2008

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A blog called the daily scroll posted an interview with the perp of chamblee54 the other day. PG went to see if there were any comments, and a list of 41 questions came up.
Out of consideration to casual readers, the list has been condensed. If you want to see the complete list, follow the link. There is a possibility that you have too much free time.
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? Why does a round pizza come in a square box? What disease did cured ham actually have? If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV? Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? Why do the Alphabet song and “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” have the same tune? Why did you just try singing the two songs above? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard? Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Whose idea was it to put an ‘S’ in the word ‘lisp’? If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures? How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

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Fog on the Horizon

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on December 11, 2008

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PG was looking for Andrew Sullivan. He is not tough to find. Sometimes when you do an unconventional search, you get unconventional answers. Knowing that the facility that hosts Mr. Sullivan is owned by Atlantic magazine, PG typed atlantic.com into the address bar. When the page emerged, there was a picture of a sailboat at the top. As it turns out, a man named Kevin Dowd owns the domain. As he tells the story
” I registered the domain in 1993 and used it for many years in business as Atlantic Computing Technology Corporation. It is now dedicated to Atlantic Class racing boats and wanton raving until such time as I might be able to use it in business again.”
A bit of this “wanton raving” caught the eye of PG.
Did you ever doubt you were right about something because you couldn’t find proof of it after a google search? I’m tickled by two phenomena: If you can find it in a Google search, then it’s true. If you can’t find it in a Google search, then it’s not true. The universe is a spectrum of truths. Some appear absolute, like the sum of two numbers. Others are pure conjecture, such as religion. Truths can change over time, and many are the product of common agreement.
Internet searches are replacing the fog on the horizon of truth with a list of possible answers. The most credible is the one with the best web site. Queries that come up empty are no longer explorations into the unknown; they’re poorly phrased questions.

A leap of faith …If I can find it in a Google search, then it is true.
A logically consistent complement …If it is not true then i cannot find it in a Google search.
A formal fallacy …If I cannot find it in a Google search, then it is not true.

PG foolishly took a class in predicate calculus once. One day, there was a big test, and the class was nervous. The instructor walked in, wearing black from head to toe. It happened that he was a part time chaplain at a local hospital

PG heard a radio whiner…it may have been Glenn Beck…quote Osama Bin Ladin as saying that he was going to defeat the United States the same way he defeated the Soviet Union. By this, he meant he was going to continue to fight, and occupy the attention of the great power, until the great power was broken economically.

PG went on the internet to confirm this quote. He could not find it. This may meant that he was not phrasing his questions accurately. Or, it could have meant that Mr. Bin Ladin did not say this.

What he said though….that the United States is defeating itself economically…is starting to happen. If Mr. Bin Ladin did not say this, then maybe he should have.

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Three Part Rules

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on December 10, 2008

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Some things seem to come in threes. This saying makes famous people nervous when two die in a short period of time.

There are also rules that come in threes. PG can only remember two at the moment. This would seem to violate the spirit of this rule, but PG is slack. There are few rules governing slack, and fewer people to enforce them.

Without further ado, here are PG’s three rules of having a job:
show up, stay awake, don’t kill anybody
John Madden is a football coach and television personality. He was the opposing coach when the Pittsburgh Steelers jump started their dynasty with the immaculate reception. He did win a Super Bowl of his own a couple of years later.

Mr. Madden likes to travel by railroads. He noted that the odd numbered runs go east and west. He realized that the odds go to San Francisco, and never had a problem with that again.

In midtown Atlanta, the street numbers have an odd and an even side. PG had a tough time with this, until he realized that the side with the odd numbers was closer to Piedmont Park.

Back to John Madden, and rules coming in three. When he was a coach, Mr. Madden had three rules for his players. They were:

be on time, pay attention, play like hell when it is time to.

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Jailbird

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on December 9, 2008

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Kurt Vonnegut wrote a book called “Jailbird”. It is about a man named Walter Starbuck. The book was copywrited in 1979. This was long before overpriced coffee drinks became a franchise. Mr. Starbuck gets out of prison, and has been somewhat of a failure at life.

In the foreword, Mr.Vonnegut says there will be a character named Roy Cohn, based on the real man with that name. The real Mr. Cohn was a dreadful man. First he was the counsel for Joe McCarthy. Then he was a spectacularly crooked attorney. It remains to be seen what sort of treatment this book will give him.

On page 111, there is a severe quote. It will be paraphrased here out of kindness to copyright laws, and the tenacity of survivors. No person is so pathetic that he cannot collect as many rich ironies as possible. There is no indication of whether an irony board was needed.

So Walter Starbuck is released from prison and goes to New York. He runs into a bag lady, who turns out to be an old girlfriend. The bag lady/x is also the owner of a huge corporation, who gives Starbuck a job where he makes lots of money. Plots like that are fun to read, like a science fiction story set in New York. And about as realistic.

Mr. Vonnegut has yet to say “and so it goes”. There are a hundred pages left, so there is plenty of time. Kilgore Trout has not been heard from. There is a picture of Mr. Vonnegut smoking on the back cover. It was taken by his wife, a lady named Jill Krementz. PG had the notion that Ms. Krementz had been in Athens GA in the early seventies, and that she may have been in the same room as PG. However, wikipedia says she was born in 1940, and was from New Jersey.

This feature needs one more paragraph to be a rainbow. This is the purple paragraph. It is not about prince, or Alice Walker, or grape juice. It could be about the Governor of Illinois. He was arrested for trying to sell a senate seat. BHO is not going to need it, because he is going to be president. Maybe Governor Alphabet could throw in an irony board, at no extra charge.

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What Day Job?

Posted in Undogegorized by chamblee54 on December 8, 2008

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RD59—know why bears wash their fur in tide?
RD59—cause it’s too cold out tide
RD59—no charge for that one
Steve—A mortician was working late one night.
Steve—He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen!
Steve—So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home.
Steve—‘I have to show you something you won’t believe,’ he said to his wife, opening his briefcase.
Steve—‘My God!’ the wife exclaimed, ‘Schwartz is dead”
Steve— i left out a line
Steve—so much for me telling jokes
PG—this woman at the country club discovered a hole in the mens locker room wall which allowed them to see the men taking a shower
PG—she showed it to her friend….look at this , he is not my husband
PG—her friend looked at it, and said, mercy, that is not my husband either
PG—a third lady came up, took a look, and said, he is not even a member of the country club
PG—whose next?
Steve—A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.
Steve—The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.
Steve—He told his wife, ‘There’s no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back
Steve—The wife smiled sweetly and replied, ‘Not this time!’
Steve—A married man was having an affair with his secretary.
Steve—One day they went her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM.
Steve—The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.
Steve—He put on his shoes and drove home.
Steve—‘Where have you been?’ his wife demanded.
Steve—‘I can’t lie to you,’ he replied, ‘I’m having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon.’
Steve—‘You lying bastard! You’ve been playing golf!’
PG—This kid had a gift. Once, he said a neighbor was going to have a car crash, and he did. Another time, the kid said his brother would break his leg, and he did.
PG—The man was very concerned, then, when the kid said his father would die that day. The man went to work, and worried about what his kid had said, and came home a wreck.
PG—His wife said, I don’t want to hear about it, the milkman dropped dead in the front yard this morning
Stalk—ha ha
PG—you can tuna guitar but you can’t tuna fish

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Another Forgotten Cemetery

Posted in Undogegorized by chamblee54 on December 5, 2008

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There is something tasteful about taking pictures in cemeteries The residents don’t get that much company, and probably appreciate the attention. Nobody has to stand still to pose. The stonecutters of generations gone by have not chiseled their letters for nothing. .
The other day, PG went for his afternoon walk. Finding a neighborhood destination that he has not seen a thousand times already is a chore. He walked down Dresden, behind the Plaza Fiesta, and briefly…very briefly…considered walking around PDK and coming back home on New Peachtree. This might not be as outlandish as it seems, and might make an athletic outing sometime.
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This day, PG went to a little Asian shopping center. It is on the site of the original El Toro restaurant, and a rather tacky motel. The sign said there were spaces for rent in the back, and PG went in back to look at them. When he got there, he saw a cemetery.
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There is a little white church on Dresden Drive. It is used by a hispanic congregation now, with the words ” Jesu Christo es el Senor” painted on the front. PG has driven by this building several thousand times, and never thought that there was a cemetery in the back.
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The graveyard is well maintained. The airport is directly behind it, so the views are not that great. The deceased seemed to rest in peace, if you don’t consider the noise from the jets.

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Fifty Six Points

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on December 4, 2008

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PG put the final touches on fifty six points today. This was the picture project that ran in conjunction with nanowrimo. The month of November is over. This is not a minute too soon for the Republican party and the Georgia Bulldogs. Fifty six points is a lot to give up in a football game. Georgia needs to learn how to play defense. The idea that this team was considered a national championship contender shows how useless pre season predictions are.

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Double Barrel Claims Form

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on December 2, 2008

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This marriage thing is getting complicated.
Father Tony has a story posted today. FT is a retired employee of the state of Connecticut. His buddy of 25 years is registered as his domestic partner, and receives benefits as a result. Recently, same sex marriage became legal up there. It seems that the benefits deal was a union negotiated thing. This is some of the fine print:

A couple shall be eligible for domestic partner status only if the couple is unable to marry in Connecticut because Connecticut’s marriage provision’s distinguish between same sex and opposite sex couples. Should eligibility to marry in Connecticut no longer be precluded on the basis of this distinction, the following provision shall cease to be effective on that date, except that coverage for couples having already achieved domestic partner status under the terms of this provision shall cease one year from that date

In other words, if the partner of FT wants to keep the pension, they MUST get married.

Father Tony is a treasure. He wrote this recently about the ins and outs of being a Catholic Priest.
There was a comment somewhere recently….maybe it was Peach Pundit, and please don’t ask for a link…but the commenter was discussing domestic partner benefits. The commenter made a point that this really wasn’t a bad idea, but that maybe there should be a live in requirement…say two years…of the couple being a declared d.p. item, before the partner would be eligible for benefits.

PG saw this, and thought that this would be a good idea for old fashioned marriages as well. Many straight marriages are more business arrangements than love matches. The shotgun has been replaced with a claims form. If a man gets his sweetie in the family way, he often has to marry her to get insurance to cover the bundle of joy. There are many other “violations of the sanctity of traditional marriage”.

And then PG realized why this is not going to happen, and one more reason why people don’t like gay marriage. There are all sorts of legal goodies for a straight married couple. The idea that this might be compromised by the same sex couples is distressing.
Spell check suggestions for this feature:
dp-dip
boi- boil, boa, boo, bod, bop, bob, bow

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