Chamblee54

Welcome to Atlanta

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on January 14, 2009

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Atlanta is composed mostly of one-way streets. The only way to get out of downtown Atlanta is to turn around and start over when you reach Greenville, South Carolina … All directions start with, ‘Go down Peachtree’ and include the phrase, ‘When you see the Waffle House’….’Except in Mayretta , where all directions begin with, “Go to the Big Chicken”…’
Peachtree Street has no beginning and no end and is not to be confused with: Peachtree Circle, Peachtree Place, Peachtree Lane, Peachtree Road, Peachtree Terrace, Peachtree Avenue,Peachtree Battle Road, Peachtree Corners, New Peachtree, Old Peachtree, West Peachtree,or Peachtree Industrial Boulevard… Atlantans only know their way to work and their way home. If you ask anyone for directions,they will always send you down Peachtree… Atlanta is the home of Coca-Cola. Coke’s all they drink there so don’t ask for any other soft drink unless it’s made by Coca-Cola.. Even if you want something other than a Coca-Cola, it’s still called Coke…The 8 am rush hour is from 6:30 to 10:30 AM… The 5 pm rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:30 PM… Friday’s rush hour starts Thursday afternoon and lasts through 2 am Saturday… Only a native of Atlanta can pronounce Ponce De Leon Avenue, so do not attempt the Spanish pronunciation. People will simply tilt their heads to the right and stare at you. The Atlanta pronunciation is ‘pawntz duh LEE-awn.’… And yes, there is a street named simply, ‘Boulevard.’It becomes Monroe Drive when you cross Ponce de Leon The falling of one raindrop causes all drivers to immediately forget all traffic rules… If a single snowflake falls, the city is paralyzed for three days and it’s on all the channels as a news flash every 15 minutes for a week. Overnight, all grocery stores will be sold out of milk, bread, bottled water, toilet paper, and beer… I-285, the loop that encircles Atlanta, has a posted speed limit of 55 mph (but you have to maintain 80 mph just to keep from getting run over)…It is known as The Perimeter, and the Watermelon 500… In Atlanta you are either ITP ( Inside the Perimeter) or OTP ( Outside the Perimeter). ITP and OTP people are wary of each other… Don’t believe the directional markers on highways: I-285 is marked East and West but you may be going North or South. The locals identify the direction by referring to the ‘Inner Loop’and the ‘Outer Loop. Some call the whole dern thing “The Fruit Loop”… Never buy a ladder or mattress in Atlanta . Just go to one of the interstates and you will soon find one in the middle of the road…The last thing you want to do is give another driver the finger, unless your car is armored, your trigger finger is itchy and your AK-47 has a full clip… Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air… There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Georgia … There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Georgia, plus a couple no one has seen before… If it grows, it sticks… If it crawls, it bites… If you notice a vine trying to wrap itself aroundyour leg, you have about 20 seconds to escape, before you are completely captured and covered with Kudzu…It’s not a shopping cart, it’s a buggy… ‘Fixinto’ is one word (I’m fixinto go to the store)… Sweet Tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you’re 2 years old…’Jeet?’ is actually a phrase meaning ‘Did you eat?’…’Momma-nem’ means: How’s Mother and all of the other children and other members of the family doing.

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  1. […] Mother and all of the other children and other members of the family doing…. This is a repost. Despite the economic unpleasantness, people come to our fine city everyday. They need all the help […]


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