Chamblee54

Test For Dementia

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on May 6, 2009

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PG has a friend named Uzi. They go for walks, eat at cafeterias, and exchange joke emails.
Today, PG received this. By amazing coincidence, today is his 55th birthday. It is a big deal whether he passes or fails this test.
This is going to be a three color affair. The test questions, and commentary, will be in green. The answers the PG gives will be in blue. The official answer will be in purple.
PG also feels that dementia is a sexist phrase. It affects women as well as men. It should be called depeopletia.

Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles.
As we grow older, it’s important that we keep mentally alert.
The saying; “If you don’t use it, you will lose it” also applies to the brain. Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence. So, take the following test presented here and determine if you are losing it or are still “with it..” The spaces below are to give you time to decide before you see the answers.
OK, relax, clear your mind and … begin.
WELL MAYBE NOT THAT CLEAR!
1. What do you put in a toaster?

Electricity.

Answer: “bread.” If you said “toast,” then give up now and go do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, “bread,” go to Question 2.

2. Say “silk” five times. Now spell “silk.” What do cows drink?

Beer.

Answer: Cows drink water. If you said “milk,” please do not
attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously over stressed and may even overheat. It may be that you need to content yourself with reading something more appropriate
such as Children’s World. If you said “water” then proceed to question 3.

3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks, and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?

A Loan from the Bank.

Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said “green
bricks,” what the devil are you still doing here reading these questions????? If you said “glass,” then go on to Question 4.

4. It’s twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany) Anyway, during the flight, TWO of the engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he has time and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of “no man’s land” between East Germany and West Germany Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany or West Germany or in “no man’s land”?

You wait until they die, and ask the family.

Answer: You don’t, of course, bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, you are a real dunce and you must NEVER try to rescue anyone from a plane crash. Your efforts would not be appreciated. If you said, “Don’t bury the survivors”, then proceed to the next question.

PG’s feelings are hurt. But only a little bit. PG has lived near a small craft airport most of his life, heard one plane crash, and saw the results of about a dozen more. The chances of the average person…or PG…getting an opportunity to rescue anyone from a plane crash are roughly the same as being hit by lightning, while attending a home game for the Falcons.

5. Without using a calculator – You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In  Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver?

It depends on whether the department of labor is involved.

Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don’t you remember your own name? It was YOU!!

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