Chamblee54

Wish Upon A Star

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on October 15, 2009

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When you step into the world of Avitable, you never know what to expect. Today, it was  a list of things that Avitable wishes he could do. To illustrate, he posted a video of a man singing.

There is a rule in the south about wishing. You are required by law to repeat this saying about wishing whenever the concept is mentioned.
You can wish in one hand, and s**t in the other, and see which hand gets full faster.
Looking at the video, PG suspects that was what Shane was doing. The viewer does not know which hand got full faster. It is best if Shane washes his hands.

There have been lots of comparisons of singing and defecation. There used to be scat singers. Playing Frank Sinatra records in a garden makes the roses grow faster.

There is a saying about being busy. “I don’t know whether to s**t or go blind”. Stevie Wonder wishes he had tried ex lax.

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Negative Attitude

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on October 14, 2009

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Atlmalcontent has put a name on something that PG has known about for a long time. He calls it frown syndrome, and says it is because of poor bone structure. PG calls it sad face, and it has had an impact on his life. If PG ever forgets that he has frown syndrome, there is always someone to remind him.

The nutshell is that PG’s face has a default setting that many see as being unhappy. PG does not know why this is, and, if he thinks about it, can make an effort to “put on a happy face”. However, if he is tired or bored, this is probably not going to happen. PG then looks like he just lost his best friend.

The ever helpful Urban Dictionary has a listing for frown syndrome. It is
“A cranky little bitch whose a downer no matter what.” Wikipedia does not have an article for frown syndrome.
The suggested Wikipedia alternative that caught PG’s eye was Washlet syndrome. A washlet is a Japanese commode that shoots water up a body cavity, for hygienic purposes. It seems as though some people abuse this device, for pleasure purposes. Whether or not they smile was not discussed. The article…actually a section of a longer article about Japanese toilets…said that washlet syndrome was frowned upon by Japanese society.

Persecution of those with frown syndrome is acceptable in modern culture. Once a person is tagged with the dreaded label “negative attitude”, anything you say or do to this person is all right. Perhaps in a more enlightened society, people with a sad face will not face discrimination.

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Lake Doraville

Posted in Undogegorized by chamblee54 on October 12, 2009

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The GM plant in Doraville is shut down. The vultures are circling the acreage. Some want to build a new stadium for the Falcons. Others want a mixed use project, with residential and commercial buildings. The area needs either one like a submarine needs a screen door.

PG has an idea for the GM property. The government should build a water reservoir on that land. Perhaps we could divert Nancy Creek and Peachtree Creek to get the water. Maybe we could pump out groundwater.

This may not be the right answer. PG is neither an engineer or a scientist. The environmental impact of having an auto plant on the land for fifty years may be too great to overcome. The land may be too small to make much difference. No doubt the expense would be great, and it might not be cost effective.

Something needs to be done about the water crisis in Atlanta. We have a metropolis of five million people getting water from an overgrown trout stream. Our governments have failed us. They have allowed rampant development, without any thought given to where the water is going to come from.

It is time to quit whining about Alabama and Florida, and find another source of water. There are not going to be any cheap solutions. If the Tennessee River is accessed… a very big if…we will need a pipeline through the mountains to get the water to Atlanta. We might need to use every bit of unused land in the area to build reservoirs, and it still might not be enough.

If the Doraville reservoir was in place now, we could be saving all of this rain we are getting. Put it away for a dry day when we need it. The next drought could start tomorrow. We are going to need bold, expensive measures to solve this problem. The water shortage could do to Atlanta what the levee breaking did to New Orleans. The time to prepare is now.

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The Last Furman Bisher Column

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on October 12, 2009

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When he was a kid, PG had different interests. He would get into something for a while, then move on to something else. In 1965, it was baseball and football. The Atlanta Journal had a column every day by Furman Bisher. PG thought he was a very good, very funny writer.

Yesterday, the fishwrapper printed the last column by Furman Bisher. Many, many things had changed in those 44 years. The well crafted prose of Furman Bisher remained the same.

In 1965, Mr. Bisher produced six columns a week for the afternoon paper. Typically, five of them would be on a single subject. The sixth one would be a collection of one or two liners, separated by three dots. These mix and match columns were always signed “selah”. Selah is an untranslatable Hebrew word from Psalms. When asked why he said that, Mr. Bisher said “your guess is as good as mine”.

In one of the columns signed selah, Mr. Bisher talked about sports cliches. His least favorite one was about a ballplayer “who can do it all”. ” Lets see one of them have a baby”

While the Cox family owned both the morning Constitution and the afternoon Journal, they were separate papers then. They had a TV section on saturday printed on green paper, which made the world look red after you turned away from it. The saturday paper also had a weekly ad by a restaurant owner who dabbled in politics, named Lester Maddox. The next year, he would be elected Governor of Georgia. Lester called the Cox Newspapers “the fishwrapper”.

In 1965, the Braves played a lame duck season in Milwaukee. The Crackers played one last season in the brand new Atlanta Stadium. It did not have the hyphen Fulton County in it’s name yet, and the people of Atlanta were so proud of that facility. The next year, the Braves set up shop in Dixie, and were horrible. The Falcons played their first season, and were even worse. Before long, PG found other things to be interested in.

Furman Bisher continued to plug away. A young man named Lewis Grizzard came to work at the fishwrapper, and Mr. Bisher was his boss. Eventually, Lewis Grizzard took a job in Chicago, a frosty exile from warm Georgia. A few years later, Mr. Grizzard came home, and became an  institution. The only problem was his heart. Lewis Grizzard left us on March 20, 1994.

Mr. Bisher is 90 today, and in good health. He is leaving on his feet. The fishwrapper continues to shrink, and may not outlive one of it’s best writers.

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Waking Up Part Two

Posted in Religion by chamblee54 on October 11, 2009

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PG went to the Candler Park festival, and spent a lovely Indian Summer day outdoors. This is exactly the right thing to do after obsessing in the dead of night about the hatred Jesus has for PG. Sunday afternoons are a gift, and to waste this gift worrying about religion is wrong.

PG entered “Jesus Hates Me” into google. The search yielded 3,420,000 results in 0.27 seconds. There is a site, Jesushatesme.org, that is “under construction”. There are the lyrics to a song, and the opportunity to download a Jesus Hates Me ringtone to your cell phone.

The song is to the tune of “Jesus Loves Me”. A remarkable feature of this tune is the second line, “for the bible tells me so”. Any name with four syllables can be substituted in place of “for the bible”. By amazing coincidence, PJW has four syllables in his first and last name.

A play has been written with this twelve letter title. The author of this play is a man named Wayne Lemon. One of the googloids is an article written by him. His story is rather amazing. Mr. Lemon attended a screening of “The Passion of the Christ”. One of his neighbors has tourettes syndrome, and provided a running commentary on the film.

Mr. Lemon is the son of a preacher. He talks about that in this feature. It is a miracle that Mr. Lemon is able to function as well as he does. PG thinks that excessive exposure to Jesus is a grotesque form of child abuse.

The other feature on the first google page is from The i***k,( the handle is copyrighted) Michael Spencer. He is a battle veteran in the Jesus Worship blog community. His post was “The Suburban Jesus Hates Me”.

To PG’s understanding, the i***k is saying that someone who follows the real Jesus is not going to be able to preach at a mega church and grow wealthy. PG wonders why i***k’s version of Jesus is better than the wealthy megapreacher. After all, it is the same bible, just different interpretations.

The bible is a book written, copied, edited, and translated by people. G-d does not write books. And even if she did, the Jesus that man screams about today has almost nothing to do with the historic Jesus. Modern Jesus is a man made device, which the first commandment tells us not to worship.

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Rose Hill Festival

Posted in Undogegorized by chamblee54 on October 11, 2009

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After PG posted about his Jesus problem, it was off to the Candler Park festival. Driving down a street near the park, PG said there was no parking on this street either, when a space appeared. There was no broken glass on the sidewalk when he returned.

With a warrior President given the Nobel Peace Prize, among other things, PG was getting caught in a rut of negativity. Uzi said “you have a negative attitude”. Going to a friendly, multicultural festival, on an Indian Summer afternoon, would seem to be a chance to be positive.

The food, and designer soap, smelled wonderful, and there was no pressure to buy. A band, the Cassanovas, played blues and rock. At one point, PG and Uzi went into a newly opened section of tents, and the band played a Credence song, “Run through the jungle”. This had been a hit during the war drenched Nixon regime, and here it was played for an audience wallowing in peace.

The land of Candler Park was incorporated into the City 100 years ago. It is a sad story, and some forgiveness would be appreciated. If it is any help, the festival crowd was cheerfully bi racial. Unlike the Piedmont Park Arts Festival, dogs were welcome.

After a while, PG and Uzi set out for dinner. A place in Buckhead proved  too adventurous for PG, and the decision was made to go to Piccadilly Cafeteria. Uzi went in his car, and listened to an NPR report on healthcare and money. PG listened to the Falcons wallop the 49ers.

It is snowing in some places, but in Georgia you can wear shorts and be happy. You can even mix a tie dye shirt with camouflage shorts, and the fashion police look the other way.

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Waking Up

Posted in Religion by chamblee54 on October 11, 2009

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PG woke up unable to sleep. One day, he will learn not to go to bed so early, if he expects to sleep until the next morning. At the moment, the only thing on his mind is the realization that Jesus Hates PG.

This is a by product of the years PG spent at Redo Blue, across the room from Professional Jesus Worshiper. PJW would humiliate PG, then boast ” I never felt better in my life”. Finally, one day, PG was doing his job, while PJW conducted his toxic ministry in PG’s face. Something needed to be done. PG wrote the words “Jesus Hates Me” on a piece of paper, and left it in a place where PJW might find it.

The more PG thought, the more he realized the truth of those 12 letters. Jesus is a man made spirit, a modern day golden calf. Jesus means something different to everyone. PG knew that the best way to know Jesus is through the words and deeds of his believers. And many of these believers showed hatred and abuse to PG. This hatred…both by Jesus and his believers…made PG unhappy. Jesus is a source of unhappiness to PG.

The first commandment says “Thou shalt have no other G-ds before me“. This does not include the so called son of G-d. The practice of Jesus worship is a violation of the first commandment. ( As is regarding the Bible as the word of G-d, but that is a subject for another day) All the unhappiness that Jesus worship causes results from violating the first commandment. And you can’t have Jesus worship without Jesus, nor Jesus without Jesus worshipers.

There probably was a man named “Jesus”, who lived in what is now Palestine. He possibly was an Avatar, or G-d became man. What is known for sure about Jesus is sketchy, which is to be expected for someone who lived 21 centuries ago. This “historic Jesus” has little in common from what is worshiped today as Jesus. Modern Jesus lives in the hearts of his Believers, and this is the force that hates PG.

There is a great deal more that can be said about this. PG entered “Jesus hates me” into google, and got results. It is also a glorious October sunday afternoon in Georgia. A tie dyed collection of people is gathering in Candler Park for an afternoon festival. PG just got the call from Uzi, wanting to know when they were going to go down to the park. The hatred of Jesus will have to wait.

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Nobel Fallout

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on October 10, 2009

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Laura Ingraham got in a shouting match with Bill O’Reilly about the Nobel peace prize. O’Reilly thought the award was a positive move, because it shows an improvement of the way the world sees America. Miss Ingraham argued with him that America was weaker, although she was unclear how this award made America weaker. Mostly, they interrupted each other and waved their hands. HT to JoemyG-d for the video.

The lack of courtesy is one of the appalling things about Conservatives. Miss Ingraham is one of the rudest ones. This post and that post tells the story of things PG has heard Miss Ingraham say on her radio show.

While researching this post, PG went to the Laura Ingraham website. There was a link to an article about the morale of American troops in Afghanistan. It seems that the more we sacrifice, the worse things get. The war was started to get revenge for nine eleven. Now, we struggle to find a reason for the slaughter. And the murderer in chief gets a Nobel Peace Prize.

On a lighter note, Andrew Sullivan chimes in with a bit of arithmetic.
“And then there was the matter of what he called COIN mathematics. If there are 10 Taliban and you kill two, how many do you have left? Eight, perhaps. Or there might be two, because six of the remaining eight decide it’s just not worth fighting anymore. Or you might have 20 because the brothers and cousins of the two dead fighters decide to take vengeance.”

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Freak Revolution Manifesto

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on October 9, 2009

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PG found a link on facebook for something called the freak revolution manifesto. Things went well for the first 25 pages or so, until the inner Ethel came out. Lucy always had these great ideas, until she told Ethel about them. ” I don’t know Lucy“.

No doubt, there is room for improvement in the way we conduct our lives. The evidence is abundant. The FRM tells a tale of a control paradigm running the show, and proposes to replace it with a connect paradigm. PG has always thought cooperation works better than domination/submission. So far so good.

The devil is in the details. Change starts with the individual. The FRM has a few ideas about how the individual player can change to best “empower” itself. One of these notions is that the person should dump their friends that don’t agree with the revolution.

“Imagine sharing this manifesto with each of your friends. Would they roll their eyes and say “Those are some pretty big ideas, but it’ll never work”? Or would they be moved to tears, jump up and down excitedly, and ask “Where can I sign up?”

You need more of the up-and-down-jumpers in your life, and fewer of the eye-rollers. The eye-rollers are poisonous and will sap your energy and motivation. The up-and-down-jumpers will share their enthusiasm with you, you’ll share yours with them, and you’ll both help each other.

Don’t maintain friendships with eye-rollers because you think you can help them or fix them. You can help much more effectively when you’re buoyed up by encouragement than when you’re drained by cynicism. It’s difficult and painful to cut ties with friends who drain you, and it’s also scary to reach out and make new friends who support you, but it’s worth it.”

PG has never found it easy to make and keep friends. The idea of losing a friend because of insufficient revolutionary zeal is distressing. There is a saying among mass murderers, “ To make an omelet, you need to crack eggs“. Reading page 29 of the FRM made PG feel like an egg, hiding from the cook.

This business of kicking out friends sounds to PG like  the control paradigm. In looking for a solution, the FRM might be making a worse problem. While many of the ideas in this tract are valid, overall PG is listening to Ethel.

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BHO Does Not Deserve This

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on October 9, 2009

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In a scandinavian shocker, BHO has been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. The former Chicago politician supports sending more troops into Afghanistan. These soldiers will not be greeted as liberators. The cowardly use of unmanned aircraft in this conflict continues, and has possibly  increased.

BHO supports the spread of war into Pakistan. In addition to the Nobel affair, this is a violation of the US Constitution. Killing civilians in Pakistan with unmanned aircraft has not been authorized by Congress. No war against Pakistan has been declared. For that matter, no formal declaration of war was issued against Iraq, Afghanistan, or Terrorism.

This is not the first bizarre decision by the Nobel committee. In 1994, the prize was shared by Yasser Arafat, Shimon Peres, and Yitzhak Rabin. 1990 saw Mikhail Gorbachev make the trip to Oslo. Le Duc Tho declined the award in 1973, because there was no peace in Vietnam. His co-designate, Henry Kissofdeath Kissinger, accepted the award. The word “honor”(as in “Peace with Honor”) took a beating that year.

In other years, no one was awarded the prize. The money in those years was allocated to the main fund. This was the approach in 1966-67, 1939-1943, and 1914-1916. In times of war, it is not always appropriate to award a peace prize.

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Rankin Blank Wants

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on October 8, 2009

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Falcons owner Rankin Blank is trying to get big government to build a new stadium. The Georgia Dome is seventeen years old. It has hosted two super bowls and Olympic events. The Falcons did not play in either super bowl.

The State of Georgia needs to find a new source of water for four million people. Police are being furloughed. A local school system is losing accreditation. And the billionaire buddy of Bernie wants big government to spend a billion dollars on a new stadium.

The Falcons have never had back to back winning seasons. A few years ago, they drafted the most talented and exciting athlete in recent memory. After two winning seasons, he was sent to prison for dog fighting. Rankin Blank wants big government to spend a billion dollars on a new stadium.

The ruinous war in Babylon may cost upwards of three trillion dollars. This could pay for a three thousand new stadiums. We have gotten revenge for nine eleven, by attacking the enemy of the people who attacked us. Big government does strange things.

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Guest Of The County

Posted in Undogegorized by chamblee54 on October 7, 2009

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PG was reading Carl Hiassen, and the subject was newspapers printing mug shots. Apparently, this is the rage in Florida. A visit to the search engine of the fishwrapper shows that this trend has not spread to Atlanta.

Of course, with google you have other options. PG quickly found a site with mug shots from Dekalb and Gwinnett. For someone with internet access and too much free time, this is dangerous. It should be noted that these photos are of people who have been arrested, not convicted. Some will be found innocent, or have the charges dropped.

In Dekalb, on October 6, 128 people were “mugged”. 11 white men, 3 white women, 87 black men, 14 black women, and 7 hispanic men were guests of the county.

In Gwinnett, things are a bit different. 115 people were processed on October 6. The breakdown is 18 white men, 7 white women, 22 black men, 7 black women, 32 hispanic men, 8 hispanic women, and 1 asian man. It should be noted that this is a blog post, and not an audit. The numbers might not add up.

Many of those in Gwinnett are show “hold for court” as the charge. Also, many of the Gwinnett people ( including all the hispanic women) show “no drivers license” as the charge.

Traditionally, the names of minors,charged with crimes, are not used in the media. This rule is not followed in Gwinnett county. Several of the mug shots are clearly people under age. When the charge is possession of alcohol by a minor, and the face has pimples, it a safe assumption that the person is underage.

If the hairdo police are making arrests, many of these people face further charges.

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