Midnight In The Garden Of Uga And PETA

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on November 24, 2009

Recently Uga VII went to the hedges in the sky. The little fellow was only a few years old, and should have been a hairy dog for a few more years at the very least. There are some tasteless rumors of inbreeding, which could have made his ailments worse.

The Uga dynasty is owned by Sonny Seiler. Mr. Seiler is an attorney in Savannah. He was a defense lawyer in “Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil”, and in the real life drama that preceded it. It is assumed that Uga VII was pampered from birth, with nothing more expected of him than running in front of the team on game day.

A “domestic terrorist organization” named PETA ( People for Ethical Treatment of Animals) has weighed in the Uga VII matter. An email was sent to University of Georgia (the other Uga) athletic director Damon Evans.

In the wake of the untimely death of the University of Georgia’s (UGA) bulldog mascot, Uga VII, PETA has asked the school’s athletic director, Damon M. Evans, to replace the mascot with an animatronic dog–or to rely solely on a costumed mascot–instead of using another real bulldog. Bulldogs are prone to breathing difficulties, hip dysplasia, heart disorders, and other congenital ailments, and acquiring a dog from a breeder perpetuates the animal overpopulation crisis while causing another dog waiting in an animal shelter to be condemned to death.

PETA knows that this is never going to happen. PETA also knows that breeding another white bulldog for Sonny Seiler is not going to have any effect on the lifespan of mutts at the shelter. PETA also knows that football is religion in Georgia.

But what PETA does know is obnoxious publicity, and planting seeds of doubt. A few more people are going to know about the canine population crisis now. As for using Uga VII to get publicity for its cause…this is the same dog that had the Nike logo on his sweater. UgaVII and the Bulldog football program are creatures of publicity and fundraising. Neither one is amateur.

The next time a wealthy antique dealer is accused of killing his boyfriend, he should get an animatronic attorney.

5 Responses

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  1. Icarus said, on November 24, 2009 at 9:49 pm

    +2 points for the last line.

  2. Michael said, on November 24, 2009 at 10:14 pm

    Better yet – let someone sue PETA and let PETA get an animatronic attorney.

    Also, do a google search for “peta,” “goldfish” and “calumny” and read the story about the preacher who told PETA off.

  3. chamblee54 said, on November 24, 2009 at 10:38 pm

    Two comments in a half hour! Maybe the red and black font is good for something.
    It is tough to find a side to root for here. PETA is gross, opportunistic, and vulgar…just like the UGA football program, and the fundraising machine that it fronts.
    I keep thinking of the Nike logo on UgaVII’s little sweater.

  4. […] an Athletic director arrested for DUI, with red panties in his lap. There are comments about PETA, and animatronic mascots. The genetic issues of inbred white bulldogs were considered. A delighful […]

  5. […] JoemyG-d reports today on a proposal in San Francisco to ban the sale of pets.

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