Awful Blonde Dyed Hair

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on May 11, 2010

PG left the job interview, and headed to the dmv. The man said to get a mvr, which is something you want to hear at the end of a job interview.

The Department of Motor Vehicles is a place where you wait. It is not possible to get through in less than an hour. For emergencies like this, PG keeps a book in his vehicle…Tales of Margaritaville by Jimmy Buffet. PG was at a yard sale once, in the hottest part of the summer. TOM was on sale for one dollar, and PG was going to pass, but when he got back to his bike, the creeping heat told him to go back up the driveway and buy that book.

The lady in front of PG in line has a birth certificate from Miami Florida. Why are Miami birth certificates so pretty, when the Fulton county thing PG has is a negative image copy, ugly as sin? Maybe it is compensation for something.

There are two old ladies in line before the lady from Miami. They both have hair dyed some hideous shade of faux blonde. Whatever happened to letting your hair go white, and being proud of living that long?

So PG got his number, and found a plastic chair that seemed clean. For the next forty five minutes, every time a number was announced, he would look up at the lightboxes above the booths. This did not make his number come up any faster, and before long PG realized that every time he had been in a government waiting room, his number got called, if he only waited long enough.

Back to the book, which was a series of short stories, told in easy to read sentences. The first story was about a bartender in Key West, who tried to drown himself in the waist deep water off the shore. He heard the phone ring in his house, and he decided to go back and answer. It was the phone company, calling to say it was cutting off his service for not paying his bill. When that was over, he was so angry, he decided he wanted to live.

The next tale was about a young man who meets his rock and roll star hero, and winds up hanging out with him. The hero tells the young man there are rules for becoming a star. They were ( in paraphrased, copyright dodging form) the bar owner is your enemy, some folks are elbows, and will always be like that, and stay out of police custody. The rockstar is telling stories that get wilder and wilder, like the time he was playing in Montana, the audience was breaking the guinness record for drinking cheap beer, and his bass player and keyboard man are fighting on stage.

Before this story was over, the number was called, and PG got his mvr. How the story turned out will have to wait until the next waiting room. Pictures are from the Library of Congress.

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