This story was found in a box of papers. There is a reason people throw things away. It is about a “prospect party”, at a “social club for tall people”. Phlash wrote this “Tall Tale” at the office. One of his co-workers asked Phlash why she wasn’t in the story. “Because you are not tall enough.”
Phlash goes to the Prospect Party by Phlash Goober
Phlash was facing another evening reading about rich people, who have affairs and commit murder. Since the Prospect Party was nearby, Phlash decided to go.
When he found the place, the first thing he noticed was the food. There were lots of soft drinks, and hollowed out watermelons filled with chunks of fruit. The obligatory spinach dip was there, as were pigs in blankets, and chips and dip. Phlash had already eaten dinner, but that seldom stops him.
Phlash was getting a touch bored, until he started talking to a prospect . “H” and Phlash have a mutual friend, and this gave them an excuse to chatter. “H” had just gotten back from Clemson, South Carolina, where there are orange tiger paws painted in the roadway. Did her car got scratched?
Phlash went outside, and decided the music was too loud for conversation. He went back inside and saw his friend “Lawrence”. They discussed pictures of horses and non-synchronistic coincidence.
Phlash stepped outside again. The music made his glasses rattle in their frames. He went back inside and saw the former Miss Tall International®, “Queen of Siam”. She had sponsored a movie night the evening before and the movie had been a beautiful romance.
Phlash forgot the title of the movie (probably because he didn’t go), but saw his onetime camping friend “Pro-A”, who liked to talk. Phlash was getting reckless by this time, and a talking person, no matter how enthusiastic, is preferable to “Play that funky music white boy” at migraine level.
So Phlash took the plunge. “Have you read any good books lately, Pro-A?” As fate would have it, “Pro-A” had just finished a tome about Catherine the Great, a Russian Czarina, that Phlash was blissfully ignorant about. Still, he was a good sport, and listened for a few minutes, until someone interrupted this foodside chat with news about the new sneaker for Lesbians, the Dyke-EE.
At this point, Phlash went into the kitchen to refill his cup with Mountain Dew. He came upon a conversation about Indian Food, vegetarianism, flatulence, and Bean-o. Phlash agrees with the concept of Bean-o, but wonders what people will do for after dinner amusement. Meanwhile, the music outside was turned down a notch, after houseplants complained about the noise.
All this time, the hot tub had been bubbling away, inviting all the tallfolk into the waters. Finally,” Z Z” and” Australia” braved the comments of jealous dry people and got in the tub. Phlash followed, just in time for a stimulating conversation about ugly bridesmaid dresses. At this point, Phlash got dressed, grabbed one last handful of pretzels, and went home.
After publication, the party hostess was offended by this article.
There is a feature at mother jones this morning about the carbon dioxide crisis. It seems to be getting worse, in spite of the jokes about Al Gore.
The subject for discussion today is phytoplankton. They are a tiny lifeform in the ocean, which is eaten by bigger lifeforms, until the big fish chomp down on the little fish. In other words, this is the bottom of the food chain. If the bottom of the food chain goes away, then the top goes with it.
Some scientists say this is happening now, while we call Al Gore a hypocrite for living in a big house. As the water temperatures in the ocean increase, the phytoplankton are not as plentiful as before. The phytoplankton process CO2, and produce Oxygen, in a manner similar to the trees on dry land.
The oceans are absorbing a great deal of the excess CO2 that is dumped in the atmosphere. If the phytoplankton die out, they will process much less CO2, which will lead to more CO2 in the atmosphere, leading to higher temperatures and less phytoplankton. This is what is known as a tipping point. The urobourous eats its tail, and gets bigger and bigger.
There are reports that the CO2 absorbed by the oceans is affecting the PH levels of the water. The mother jones feature did not address this issue. PG is not a scientist, and can only understand so much. How these altered PH levels work with the higher temperatures is rocket science to him. Mixing in a few billion gallons of crude oil further muddies the waters. All PG knows is that the results will probably not be good for the earth.
HT to obsidian wings for the story in mother jones. Pictures are from The Library of Congress.
Anne Rice made three statements on her Facebook page in the past 36 hours. She made a highly public statement about her religious opinions.
For those who care, and I understand if you don’t: Today I quit being a Christian. I’m out. I remain committed to Christ as always but not to being “Christian” or to being part of Christianity. It’s simply impossible for me to “belong” to this quarrelsome, hostile, disputatious, and deservedly infamous group. For ten …years, I’ve tried. I’ve failed. I’m an outsider. My conscience will allow nothing else.wed 07-29-1:36 pm
As I said below, I quit being a Christian. I’m out. In the name of Christ, I refuse to be anti-gay. I refuse to be anti-feminist. I refuse to be anti-artificial birth control. I refuse to be anti-Democrat. I refuse to be anti-secular humanism. I refuse to be anti-science. I refuse to be anti-life. In the name of …Christ, I quit Christianity and being Christian. Amen. 07-29-1:41 pm
My faith in Christ is central to my life. My conversion from a pessimistic atheist lost in a world I didn’t understand, to an optimistic believer in a universe created and sustained by a loving God is crucial to me. But following Christ does not mean following His followers. Christ is infinitely more important than C…hristianity and always will be, no matter what Christianity is, has been, or might become. 07-29-5:30 pm
1- Who cares? A part of Jesus worship that is disgusting is the assumption that anyone else cares whether or not you are a true believer. This co exists with the idea that the you are entitled to know about the beliefs of other people. There are people who think that their beliefs are their business. Just because you are a famous writer, that knows the value of publicity, does not mean your opinions about G-d are more valuable than mine.
2- Does Ms. Rice have a new book coming out soon? She does have a talent for publicity and marketing. The woods are full of talented authors. It takes work to hone this talent into marketable product. She then persuaded a publisher to take a chance selling her product, and got the public to buy truckloads of her books. This does not make her opinions about G-d more valuable than mine.
3- Jesus has mutated over time into the poster boy of this obscene religion. Maybe the real Jesus is anti gay, pro war, anti Muslim, and anti thought. Maybe 2000 years ago the living person named Jesus had these highfalutin ideas about love thy neighbor. At least that is what the Bible says, and that is an untrustworthy book. For all we know, the original Jesus was just as hateful then as his worshipers are today.
The way to know Jesus is through his believers. The putrid spectacle of modern Jesus worship is what the spirit of Jesus has morphed into. To say that you are pro Christ and Anti Christian is double talk, like hate the sin/love the sinner. Why not dispute the belief, and be kind to the believer?
PG does not know what led Anne Rice to this impasse. And he does not care. Anne Rice is a talented writer, that is enjoyed by millions of people. The only book by her that PG read was “Interview with the vampire”. He got 150 pages into it, and found it very powerful. It was taking him places he did not want to go. PG did not finish the book.
Jesus has not been kind to PG. His worshipers have heaped abuse on PG. After a while, it does not make sense to find excuses for Jesus. If Jesus truly pays the price for the sins of his believers, then he should take the blame for this loud, hateful flock. And Anne Rice should quit talking about Jesus, and get back to writing books.
Pictures for today’s feature are from The Library of Congress.
Jamendo is a terrific source for free music. There are now 37,302 albums available for legal downloads. They also have a listening window, so you can listen to something before you copy it.
When you download something from Jamendo, you get a read me text file. This file is in English, Français, Italiano, Español, Deutsch, Polski and Русский.
In the never ending struggle to find text to go between the pictures, this file is presented today. Pictures for today’s adventure are from the The Library of Congress. 70 images from this source are presented in a lovely format by the Denver Post. HT to dangerousminds commenter Dow Kimbrall for the video.
Thank you for downloading this album! It’s FREE and LEGAL distribution by Jamendo: http://www.jamendo.com/ On the website you’ll be able to:- Write a review about the album and check out other reviews already written by members of our community.- Obtain more information about the artist and/or album.- Download other quality music for FREE. – Learn more about Jamendo. Sign up and post messages in our forums.- Make a donation to the artist to support them. Visit Jamendo and help us promote FREE music! Thanks again, we hope you enjoy listening to this album. The Jamendo team. Merci d’avoir téléchargé cet album ! Sa diffusion gratuite et légale est assurée par jamendo. http://www.jamendo.com/ Sur ce site, vous pourrez, entre autres : – Déposer une critique sur cet album, et consulter les nombreuses critiques déjà présentes. – Obtenir plus d’informations sur l’artiste auteur de cet album.- Télécharger d’autres albums de qualité, complets et gratuits.- Vous informer sur la contribution de jamendo en faveur d’une musique gratuite et légale, et participer au forum de jamendo.- Rejoindre son fan-club pour être tenu au courant des prochains concerts, sorties d’albums, … c’est en même temps un petit geste de soutien !Alors n’hésitez pas à nous rendre visite, pour apporter votre soutien à notre action et nous aider à prouver qu’une autre musique est possible, une musique libre !Merci, et bonne écoute ! L’équipe de jamendo. Grazie per avere scaricato questo album! La sua distribuzione legale e veloce è fatta da jamendo: http://www.jamendo.com/ Tramite questo sito sarai in grado di:- scrivere una recensione su questo album e leggere le altre recensioni già scritte dagli altri membri della nostra comunità; – ottenere maggiori informazioni su questo album/artista;- scaricare altri album interi di qualità, gratuitamente; – saperne di più su jamendo, registrarti, inserire messaggi nei nostri forum.- fare una donazione a questo artista per supportare il suo album. Quindi visita liberamente jamendo e
aiutaci a promuovere la musica libera! Grazie ancora! Il team di jamendo. Gracias por descargar este álbum ! Su distribución gratis y legal es realizada por jamendo: http://www.jamendo.com/En el sitio web, podrás :- Escribir tu opinión sobre este álbum, y checar todas las opiniones ya escritas por miembros de la comunidad jamendo.- Obtener mayor información sobre este artista/álbum.- Descargar otros álbumes de calidad, gratis.- Aprender más sobre jamendo, escribir un mensaje en los foros.-Hacer una donación a este artista para apoyarlo. No dudes en visitar jamendo, y ayúdanos a promover música gratis y de buena calidad !Gracias otra vez, que pases un buen rato oyendo este álbum !El equipo de jamendo. Vielen Dank für den Download dieses Albums Die freie und legale Distribution wird von Jamendo gewährleistet:http://www.jamendo.com Auf dieser Webseite kannst du auch:- eine Rezension zu diesem Album schreiben und die zahlreichen anderen Rezensionen lesen. – mehr Informationen zu diesem Album und dem/den Künstler/n einsehen. – kostenlos weitere komplette Alben herunterladen.- mehr über Jamendo und dessen Unterstützung einer kostenlosen und legalen Verbreitung von Musik erfahren und an unseren Foren teilnehmen.- dem Fanclub des Künstlers beitreten, um Infos über Konzerte und neue Alben zu erhalten – und ihn damit auch zu unterstützen! Besuche Jamendo jederzeit und unterstütze unsere Aktion: Denn wir suchen nach einer anderen Musik, nämlich freie Musik! Nochmals vielen Dank und viel Spaß beim Hören dieses Albums! Das Jamendo-Team Dziękujemy za pobranie tego albumu! Jego darmowa i legalna dystrybucja odbywa się przez jamendo:http://www.jamendo.com/Na stronie tej możesz:- Napisać opinię o tym albumie oraz sprawdzić opinie napisane już przez innych użytkowników.- Zdobyć więcejm informacji o tym artyście/albumie. – Pobrać inne albumy w dobrej jakości, za darmo.- Dowiedzieć się więcej o jamendo, zarejestrować, wysyłać wiadomości na nasze fora.- Wpłacić pieniądze dla artysty, aby go wesprzeć. Nie wahaj się więc odwiedzić jamendo i pomóż nam promować wolną muzykę!Jeszcze raz dzięki, życzymy miłego czasu spędzonego przy słuchaniu albumu! Zespół jamendo. Спасибо за скачивание этого альбома! Это бесплатно, и он легально распространяется Jamendo: http://www.jamendo.com/ На этом сайте вы сможете- Написать рецензию на этот альбом, и просмотреть все остальные рецензии, уже написанные членами нашего сообщества – Получить больше информации о данном исполнителе/альбоме – Скачать бесплатно другие качественные полные альбомы- Узнать больше о Jamendo, зарегистрироваться, оставлять сообщения на наших форумах.- Сделать пожертвование этому исполнителю для его поддержки Поэтому, не стесняйтесь, заходите на Jamendo и помогайте нам нести в массы бесплатную музыку! Еще раз спасибо, желаем Вам отличного прослушивания этого альбома! Команда Jamendo.
The fourth diva on the cd is Janis Joplin. Unlike the first three, she used her birth name as a stage name. Janis Lyn Joplin was born January 19, 1943, in Port Arthur, Texas.
Janis was a legend. As the singer for Big Brother and the Holding Company, she became an overnight superstar in 1967. She soon left Big Brother, and had ups and downs as a solo performer. As most of you know, she was fond of Southern Comfort and heroin. She passed away October 4, 1970.
Marian Evelyn Faithfull was born 29 December 1946, in London. Unlike the first four divas in this series, she is still alive, and doing rather well. This is not for lack of trying, as she has had her adventures with hard drugs. She also dated Mick Jagger.
After some wild times, including being busted while wearing only a fur rug, Ms. Faithfull went into a decline. She made a comeback in 1979 with “Broken English”. She continues to perform.
Dorothy Ashby is the third performer we will discuss today. She is not as well known as the first five, and is not known for her singing. She played harp.
Dorothy Jeanne Thompson was born August 6, 1932 in Detroit, Michigan. She married John Ashby, who played drums in her band. She died April 13, 1986.
Youtube does not seem to have any videos of Mrs. Ashby performing. We will have to use an still picture video to include her. On the cd, she performs “Theme from Valley of the Dolls”. As a bonus, we include a scene from the movie. It shows a catfight between characters, said to be based on Ethel Merman and Judy Garland.
Foreign Policy.com and The Fund for Peace have released Failed State Index 2010. For people who like to go over charts of numbers, it is an early Christmas present.
The Index rates countries on 12 indicators, giving a 1-10 score on each, with 1 the best and 10 the worst. The numbers are added up, and the countries ranked according to the score. In this system, the higher the score, the worse your nation is functioning.
The 10 categories in this contest are demographic pressures, refugees/displaced, legacy of vengeance, chronic human flight, uneven economic development, economic decline, crime and delegitimization of the state, deterioration of public services, lack of rule of law/human rights abuses, standing of the security forces, factionalized elites, and outside intervention.
In the chart, the country with the most points is number 1, the grand prize winner, the most dysfunctional country on earth. The blue ribbon this year goes to Somalia.
If you look at a map, and can find Somalia, without the help of Miss Teenage South Carolina, you will see why this is a cause for concern. Somalia is in the far west bulge of Africa, and all of the oil from the middle east goes by her. This is by definition a strategic location. US military action does not seem to improve the situation, and may make things worse.
The rest of the top eleven failed states is: 2 Chad, 3 Sudan, 4 Zimbabwe, 5 D.R. Congo, 6 Afghanistan, 7 Iraq, 8 Central African Republic, 9 Guinea, 10 Pakistan, and 11 Haiti. Haiti is the only Western Hemisphere country in the top eleven, and is generally regarded as a hellhole ( and that was before the earthquake.). The idea that there are 10 countries in worse shape is horrific.
Featured in this football team from hell are three countries the United States is killing people in. This would be 6 Afghanistan, 7 Iraq, and 10 Pakistan. The 2010 index is the sixth annual report.
This means there is not an index from before the “global war on terror” to compare Babylon to. In other words, we don’t know if Operation Iraqi Freedom made Iraq more or less stable.
There are 178 countries rated in the stability beauty contest. The most stable regime on earth is Norway, which was conquered in 1940. Those depressing movies by Ingmar Bergman must not hurt too much. The USA checks in at 159, between Germany and France. You might ask Belgium (164) about being between those two countries.
If you have a lot of free time, here are the Complete rankings . HT goes to musingsoniraq , who feels like Iraq is not being treated fairly.
British prime minister David Cameron is on a visit to Turkey. He made a few comments about Gaza. “Let me also be clear that the situation in Gaza has to change. Humanitarian goods and people must flow in both directions. Gaza cannot and must not be allowed to remain a prison camp,”
Israel’s ambassador to Great Britain, Ron Prosor, replied “The people of Gaza are the prisoners of the terrorist organization Hamas. The situation in Gaza is the direct result of Hamas’ rule and priorities.”
As per wikipedia, Hamas was founded in 1987. This was just after the Iran contra affair, when Israel was helping Iran buy weapons. 1987 is 39 years after the creation of the state of Israel. Many Arabs living in what became Israel left during this time, and many settled in the Gaza Strip.
The creation of Hamas was 20 years after the six day war, when Israel took control of the Gaza Strip. The Israeli soldiers were not greeted as liberators. What followed was an Israeli occupation of the territory. It was by, most accounts, a brutal affair, with Gaza resistance met by Israeli force.
During this occupation, the prime “terrorist organization” was the P.L.O. They were the object of attacks by Israel, both propaganda and military. They were connected to the party Fatah, which became the primary agent of governance in Palestine. There was an election, and Hamas won.
There are reports that Hamas was secretly founded by Israel , to fight Fatah/PLO. Whether or not this is true, the fact is that Israel maintained a brutal occupation of Gaza. It should be no surprise that a “terrorist organization” would be popular, and win an election over yesterday’s boogieman.
Both sides in this conflict have good sides, and have suffered losses. The commentary above is oversimplified. However, to say the suffering of the Gazans “is the direct result of Hamas” constitutes an obscene piece of propaganda.
Pictures for this feature are from the ” Special Collections and Archives,Georgia State University Library” . HT to Juan Cole , an excellent source for news on the middle east.
Matt Taibbi spent some quality time with his computer the other day. The post was about the Tea Party, but took a couple of detours en route.
The preamble was about the execution of John Wayne Gacy . For those with short memories, Mr. Gacy was not a nice man. He entertained children wearing a clown costume, before he molested and murdered children. The crawl space to his Illinois home was used for storage. After a while, Mr. Gacy was caught, and sentenced to die.
This is where the story kicks in. A friend of Mr. Taibbi covered the scene outside the prison, on the night that Mr. Gacy was poisoned by the state. A festive crowd had gathered to celebrate. As the party was breaking up, the reporter started to interview a young man. The chat went like this: “You’re not against capital punishment, are you?” “I’m not against capital punishment,I’m against enjoying capital punishment.”
A few years ago, PG was working with someone who told stories. A celebrity murderer was going to be executed, this time using the electric chair. An Atlanta radio station had a parking lot party to celebrate the frying. ( PG cannot remember the name of the murderer, nor the state of the execution). The wife of the co worker baked a cake to celebrate the occasion. It was decorated with a bright yellow icing, to resemble a fried egg.
The arguments for and against capital punishment are many. For the foreseeable future, it is a fact of life in Georgia. PG ( who has written several posts on the subject ) feels that, while there are some despicable people, the justice system is too flawed to administer capital punishment properly. At the very least, the execution of a criminal is not a time for celebration.
Capital punishment is compared to war, abortion, and euthanasia. All are times where a conscious decision is made to end a human life. Is it proper to enjoy any of these activities?
The easy one is euthanasia. Does anyone enjoy euthanasia, or spend much time campaigning against it? The case of Terri Schiavo is the most prominent, and some did try to make political hay out of it. That really didn’t catch on, as many people saw the shades of gray involved, and were mostly glad they were not the one to make the decision.
Do people enjoy abortion? The procedure itself is not celebrated, and is cloaked in quiet shame. On the other hand, PG suspects that the opponents of abortion are having a bit too much fun with their activities. The morality of using abortion as a vehicle for power is another subject for debate.
Do people enjoy war? HELL YEA. Firing up people on the home front is an essential part of a successful war. When the conflict drags on, and victory or truce begins to seem impossible, the war may lose some of it’s luster. The glamorization of war makes the conflict much more likely. Maybe if the attitude about war was similar to the attitude about euthanasia, we would have less of them.
Part one of this feature was about the preamble to a Matt Taibbi post. The meat of the story was about racism, and people who enjoy it too much.
In case you have gone deaf, people in America love to talk about race. ( No one seems to enjoy listening.) In the past week, there has been the New Black Panthers and Shirley Sherrod, and no telling what else. Some thought that having a dark skinned POTUS would change things, and perhaps it has. Whether this is a good or bad change is anyone’s guess.
Mr. Taibbi (sounds like Tybee, as in island) made the comment: Your average person doesn’t spend hours a day pondering his racial victimhood like this – not unless he enjoys it, and if he enjoys it, he’s an asshole! (Especially if he’s white. If he’s white, the scale of his assholedom (spell check suggestion:glasshouse, grasshopper) is almost incalculable). And this is where PG disagrees.
Why is it worse for white people to be race obsessed than blacks? Yes, black people have been the oppressed race, but do two wrongs make a right. Revenge is uneven and unfair.
A few years ago, when PG was working downtown ( and saw thousands of black people everyday), he read something in the fishwrapper. A black lady said that whenever she saw a white person, she was looking at someone who did not like her. PG realized that many of ( but not all) of those thousands of black faces that he saw everyday were looking back at him, and thinking, that man does not like me.
When it is us against them, you need to remember which side you are on. Some people are going to hate you no matter what you do. Just because someone hates you, that does not mean you have to degrade yourself by hating them back. And spending hours a day complaining does not make things any better, whether you are black or white.
And it does not make you a better person. Have pride in who you are, without searching for fault in others. The only person you can change is yourself.
The pictures for this feature were taken by PG on Nov. 11, 2009. They are located on the Atlanta Beltline. The image at the top was painted over during a recent effort to incorporate art into the Beltline project.
Postscript. PG thought he could build site volume by leaving a comment about this post on Matt Taibbi’s Rolling Stone page. The synchronicity of glasshouse as a spell check suggestion for assholedom was going to be mentioned. ( If Georgia builds another dome for Rankin Blank’s Falcons, could it be called the assholedome?)(So much for having a profanity lite blog.)
The problem is the Rolling Stone website. First, you have to register. This is annoying, but standard. Only thing, at Rolling Stone there is no way to scroll to the bottom of the page, to click the red button. After a few frustrating minutes, PG hit f11 for ultra full screen, and the red button appeared.
The next step was to make the comment. You type in the comment, hit send, and go do something else. Usually, the server works, and your comment is added. But evidently this is a bad day at Rolling Stone, because you get an error message, and your comment disappears into the ether.
PG was a serious Rolling Stone fan for years. He bought his first copy in high school, a pulp edition featuring the John Lennon interview. In those days, Rolling Stone was pulp paper, full of fine print articles that went on forever. It was the Great Speckled Bird on steroids.
Today, it is a slick ad rag. It got lucky with the story on Stanley McCrystal. It will probably stagger by on momentum for a while, until it goes to the media graveyard. When it is six feet under, then it will again be an underground paper.
The spell check suggestion for assholedome is assemblywoman.
Likey was fun yesterday. The good news is, with facebook and the internet, there is plenty of instant wisdom available. You don’t need a bumper anymore, or a shirt to put the button on.
Today’s collection is from wholikesit . When WLI makes lists, they cut off the words after a certain point. As a service to the readers, Chamblee54 clicked on these slogans, so you can read the full saying. On these bonus pages is an ad, which often has a poetic connection to the slogan. Someone assigning ads to the slogans has a sense of humor.
Pictures today are from The Library of Congress.
#Blaming mum for anything lost in the house ;)#theres reasons as to why i dont want to be close with you, you just dont see them.#you either like me or you dont? i dont live for your approval :)#hates falling in too deep that no matter how hard you try not to care, you simply cant :(#No matter what you do , what you say i will still love you!#”Woah your tall” “Hey I’m not tall your just short” #Laughing as your friend gets possessed by a demon :) #hating me wont make you pretty (: #How many times do i have to say “excuse me” before “get the f### out of my way” becomes acceptable? (This is the most liked item on the page. 487k facebookettes like this. )#Mom: Go get your father. You: DAD!!!! Mom: Well I could’ve done that. You: Well why didn’t you? (This is advertised by Groupon)#if a man doesn’t want you at your worst, then he sure as hell doesn’t deserve you at your best.#Passing gum in school like it’s a drug deal. #”HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” “Aww, You Remembered.” “Nope, Facebook Told Me.” “Atleast Facebook Bothered Remembering.” “Atleast I Bothered Wishing.” (This is advertised by Pimp your page)#Is that your ex?. . .NO. . .Thats the biggest mistake of my life##LOG OUT#…….bored……#SIGN IN##I’ll be Burger King You’ll be Mcdonalds Ill be doing it my way And you’ll be lovin it ;D ( This is advertised by Jesus loves you…This prayer will change your life)#I wonder what Pokemon do inside the Pokeball #Chivalry is NOT dead,Yes! u should open my door, Yes! you should pull out my chair, & Yes!you should walk me to my car,Yes! you should be a Gentlemen;YES! That’s EXPECTED! (This is advertised by Cartoon Yourself)#hey , Summer of 2010, yeah don’t slow down i’m bored as hell#Haha look,hes jacking his little penis, not at the table carlos. -The Hangover (This is advertised by “The Jewish magazine you’ve been waiting for-Tablet- A new read on Jewish Life) #FLOCKAAAA!!! #Technology scares me. All of us we became like some oceans full of information. But this ocean has most of the item just few inches of depth. (This is advertised by ACNE HQ)#The best one of the four, I feel is: So many thoughtful things you do. I’m glad I’ve got a friend like you.#I love u because I could stand out in the pouring rain my straight hair gone & mascara running & you still pull me close, kiss me and tell me u love me (This is advertised by….WARNING: Do not click this if you have moral, ethical or religious reasons forcing you to cower helplessly while someone violently attacks you, your wife or your kids..) #OMG, he’s online…time to change my status!#I found some stamps at the thrift store yesterday. 1. May everyday be a celebration of the heart. 2. Sweet are the joy’s the season sends; but closest to heart are family & friends. 3. No gift can compare to a friend who’s always there.# if brains were gasoline, you wouldn’t have enough to fill an ant’s motorcycle and ride halfway around a Cheerio.
If you read facebook, you have seen it. The example that spurred PG into action was (name changed to protect the guilty) ” @$#% &#$$ likes Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. ” In the old days, people put a bumper sticker on their vehicle to show off the clever saying they heard. Now, they “like”.
There was an incident on the Joe Pyne show, that may or may not have happened. It relates to this example. Mr. Pyne asked Frank Zappa if his long hair made him a girl. Mr.Z shot back, Does your wooden leg make you a table?
As per wikipedia, bumper stickers did not exist before the bumper. The first BS were attached to the vehicle with wires. A printer in Kansas City MO named Forest P. Gill gets the credit ( or blame) for adding stick on adhesive to pvc, and creating the first modern BS.
When PG was a kid, there was a miniature golf course on Cheshire Bridge Road called Putt Putt. The first bumper sticker that PG saw was from this facility. It said “I play Putt Putt”
Many concepts just don’t work when reduced to a few words. The subtleties of Christian teaching are not well served by “G-d Said it, I believe it, that settles it”.
Moving ahead to modern times, Likeydotnet is in the vanguard of digital slogan distribution. As a public service, this blog is going to post a bunch of these slogans. A few will be left out…one uses the N Word, and a few are just too gross. Anyone who despairs about the standards of taste and decency in America, is squeamish about cuss words, or picky about the third commandment, will be well served by skipping to the pictures. These pictures are from The Library of Congress.
# No matter what I get on the computer to do, I always end up on Facebook.# I’m telling the truth, but then I smile, and then they think I’m lying.# We have the ice cream truck for the kids, why don’t we have a frozen margarita truck for us adults?# Mom, im 16 now. Can I have a Bra? …No, Justin.# Im a girl but I rather hang out with boys because it is less drama!!!!# “feel my legs!!!” “why…?” “i just shaved :)” # You’ll never find the right person if you don’t let go of the wrong one.# Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.#Sarah and Richie don’t talk they just facebook…….SAD.#Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.#growing your beard during exams to seek extra wisdom. #”Congratulations! You’re the 1,000,000 visitor!” Yeah bullshit. #I know when we ge older that im going to get a call from you telling me ur drunk and to ome and pick you up,and im fine with that(:#”Everyone, CALM down! Everything will be okay!…LOL, j/k! We’re all gonna die…”# Noooo… being a stripper is a very respectable job. LOL jk, you’re a whore.#So, I kinda sorta maybe like you a little more than I had originally planned. #”who u texting” “mum do i have to tell u who i’m texting” “yea, is it your boyfriend” “NO, its the queen”# A penis has a sad life. His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbour is an asshole, his bestfriend is a pussy and his owner beats him!# PIG PIG PIG!# i wonder if ur liking?# I Like Hip Hop Break dance ♥♥♥#ygvbyyhjviuv# no its not you i miss its your company# i like my hair snooki style :) # I’m with you Mag, I love Jesus, my strength and courage to face the day-I trust him with my day always# My Wee Angel#Older Brother: I’m goin to the shops. Me: Can you bring me back something? Older Brother: No. Me: Please. Older Brother: No. Me: Please. Older Brother: No. Me: Please. Older Brother: Maybe. *Comes back later* Me: What did you bring me? Older Brother: Sorry, I forgot. Me: LIAR!!! # you smell : realy :yer Well Nott Realy I Havee Hadd A Showerr# ooo ten most shocking photos who put the surveys there# Girls, you look like a burnt cookie. Unplug the tanning bed and back away slowly.# I Love My Best Friend More Than ANYTHING! (: x # when you like someone but you know you cant have them#i say “hi”, but my heart is screaming “I LOVE YOU!!!” # Why do people leave without even saying goodbye?# If we invite someone to a party, we’d request “the honor of your presence”. If they’re a judge, it’s the presence of Your Honor.# Guy: I love you. Girl: No you don’t, ‘I love you’ are just words. Prove it to me and maybe I will believe you.#Please, #6 Jahre habe ich keinen Alkohol getrunken, nicht geraucht, keinen Sex gehabt, und dann kam ich in die Schule! #Hate’s it when a guy tells you they love you but goes to some other girl.# I keep looking at my phone, hoping to hear it go off. But, I guess I’m the last thing on your mind, huh? :( # okay there is a white house,bluehouse and a red house..who lives in the white house #. cod mw2# I didn’t fall, I attacked the floor. #i have a taste for sushi ^_^# Like if you know any Chain Smoker’s!!# I live for Christ. He is my way, my light, my strength, and my savior :) Who’s with me?# Sometimes your knight in shining armor is just a retard in tin foil# “It’s so fluffy I’m gonna die!! IT’S SO FLUFFAAAAAY!!”# Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. # A boy gives a girl 10 roses, 9 real and 1 fake. And he says to the girl that he’ll love her, until the last one dies.# When Life Gives You a Bad Romance, show everyone your Poker Face, buy a new Telephone, call Alejandro, and you guys Just Dance!# He came to me one night. Explored my body, licked, sucked, swallowed! When satisfied, he left & I was hurt!!… Fucking mosquito!# Fake hair, fake nails, fake tan, fake boobs… Girl, are you sure you weren’t made in China? # A man asked a genie to make him a billion times smarter than anyman on earth, so the genie turned him into a woman.# You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel.# I don’t care if it’s rude to stare, you are hot, so I will stare.# Don’t judge . . . you never know what a person’s story is . . . leave that up to G-d! # Teacher: Billy why are you crying and why did you bring your cat to school? Billy: Because I heard my dad tell my mom “When Billy leaves to school I’m gonna beat that pussy up!”# Jacob: “I kissed bella , then she broke her hand, punching me in the face”# The world can’t end in 2012, I have a yogurt that expires in 2013.# “EVERYONE SHUT THE F*** UP!” *answers phone* “Hi Mommy :)”
PG just finished another book of short stories by T.C.Boyle, Without a Hero . There are fifteen tales here, all of which end before the reader gets bored. The collection was published in 1994, during that magic era between communism and Islamofascism. Many are set in Southern California or New York, two places PG seldom gets to visit. Not to worry though, because the media insures familiarity with these influential regions.
The story is king in these pages. Some authors are fun to read, but their style overwhelms the story…you are always aware that you are reading Kurt Vonnegut. Mr. Boyle is like a hidden camera, recording the action without calling attention to himself. He is like a character actor, who inhabits the character without your realizing that you saw him on the late show three times last week.
One of the clues is on the copyright page. This is a collection of short stories, which means they were published before. The story of the elephant hunt gone to hell was in Rolling Stone. The teenage hitchhiker who gets thrown out by Memere Kerouac was in Playboy. (At one time, Playboy did have good stories and articles, despite the jokes. Then, the editors started to listen to the jokes, and all that was left was the pictures. GQ paid for the headliner story, “Without a Hero”. It was the fourth story in the book, the cleanup hitter. “Without” is the story of Irina, the dreamgirl visitor who quickly became a nightmare.
The book opens with a foreword or introduction, which few bother to read anyway. “Big Game” opens the show, with a tale of a hunting preserve in California. An obnoxious real estate tycoon tries to kill an elephant, and has second thoughts. PG opened to a story at random to start, and picked “Respect”, a Sicilian family tale.
A few of the tales stand out. “Beat” is the saga of a young man who hitchhikes to Long Island on the week before Christmas, and goes to see Jack Kerouac. He manages to talk his way past Memere, and gets to spend some quality time with the man. Before long, Burroughs, Ginsberg, Cassidy, and a teenage girl join the party. After a while, Memere throws the bunch out, and the story teller goes home. Before long, the teenage girl misses her period. This was Christmas 1958, when PG was four years old, living in Georgia.
“56-0” is another standout, originally paid for by Playboy. It is the tale of a man about the play his last college football game. His school has not won a game in the four years he played. The coach wants to forfeit the last game, but the player is determined to lose the last game by less than 56 points. It is a side of college sports you don’t see on TV. This is a story which was dynamite in the short story form, but probably would have been boring if it were much longer.
DDT has long been banned from use in the USA. Apparently, other parts of the world are not as squeamish. “Top of the Food Chain” tells the story too many insects in a village in Borneo. The tale is told by an man under oath, before a committee investigating a disaster. First, DDT was sprayed around the village. It killed an insect which ate caterpillars, which started to multiply. The caterpillars got hungry, and ate the palm leaves on top of the huts, which started to leak rainwater. Also, the flies got to be a problem, so another round of spraying was called for. The flies died like flies, the geckos ate the dead flies, and became dead lizards. The cats ate the dead geckos, with predictable results. Round and round she goes, where it stops no one knows.
Pictures are from the Library of Congress.
There is an amusing story making the rounds of the innertubes at the moment. It seems like those fun lovers from the Westboro Baptist Church decided to protest a comic book convention in San Diego. The pulp fiction fans had a welcoming party, in costume. Lots of cameras were used, and a good time was had by all.
Maybe this is not the best approach to take. The WBC peeps are living a fantasy, just like those who wear an intergalactic warrior uniform. Of course, the Phelps folks think they are spreading the truth, while most of the comic book crowd knows they are not really androids.
Suppose, instead of protesting the WBC, they were welcomed to the fantasy fair. In the free marketplace of ideas, the most creative will get the most notice. Let style take its rightful place in front of substance. If this were to happen, the WBC crowd would be ignored, instead of getting the persecution they so crave.
The main difference between WBC and more mainstream brands of Jesus worship is the style. Yes, very few preachers picket the funerals of soldiers. But the substance of the poison…that homosexuals are terrible people because the Bible says so, if you don’t agree with me you go to hell… is very similar to the message delivered, at top volume, in thousands of pulpits every sunday morning. None of them speak well for Jesus.
PG was going to make a comment about pedophilia, and how this does not seem to be a problem at WBC. Before he did so, he went to Google to make sure. He found this item. :“Security was tight today as Westboro Baptist Church member Shirley Phelps-Roper appeared in Sarpy County Court to answer charges that she mutilated a flag and put her child in danger while protesting at the funeral of a Bellevue, Neb., soldier…According to Bellevue police, Phelps-Roper had her 10-year-old son stomp on an American flag. Church members had obtained a city of Bellevue permit to protest.”
PG has never been one to travel to another city, and pay serious money, for panel discussions. He did, however, go to the dragon con parade last year. As the last medieval wench made her way down Peachtree, there was a voice heard through a bullhorn. A man was waving a sign and screaming about Jesus.
PG made the mistake of saying that the low resolution pictures were from an abortion. It turned out to represent Jesus on the cross. If you believe in fantasy , that is.
(What follows is quote from that post about fantasy .) A theme of the post yesterday (see comments) was the importance of knowing fantasy from reality. The preacher was living a fantasy. Few are impressed by his rhetoric. He creates ill will for Jesus. The grossout pictures of the crucifixion do the same. PG posted last week about the damage that selfish preachers do to Jesus .
It should be noted that photography did not exist when Jesus lived. Nor did people speak English. That does not prevent people from believing that an English translation, of a Greek rendering, of Aramaic lessons, is the inerrant word of G-d. If you believe the Bible is the inerrant word of G-d, then it is not much of a leap to believe those pictures were real.
Another problem is the placement of the spikes. The spike that held feet to a cross was driven into a spot between the Achilles heel and the bone. No bones were broken, and the feet were secured to the cross. The victim was not going to walk again.
The spikes that held the arms were driven through a space in the wrist. Here again, no bones were broken, and the arms were not going to be pulled away from the cross. In the picture, there was a rope tying Jesus to the cross at this spot, and the spike was going to go in a couple of inches up the arm. But when you believe your fantasy, details like this are not important.
There is a comment from the preacher, Bro Cope, that is jaw dropping.
Here is the rub. We not only don’t expect to convert everyone, we dont’ normally expect to convert anyone. That is not our purpose at all. There are many purposes in what we do, but way down on the list is to convince them of anything. To be quite frank with you, our main purpose is to get people moving – towards God or away. We can not by our preaching put a particular direction in anyone’s heart. What we can do by our preaching is to ascertain what is already there, and then to magnify what is there. If going away from God, we drive them further away. If leaning towards God, we draw them in closer. And from you rantings derived from ignorance, it appears we are doing exactly what we are supposed to be doing.
By getting people to move, then God can steer them where He wants them to go. Then the person’s salvation is accomplished by God Himself. You see, if we can convince someone to believe by our eloquence, then somebody else can convince them to disbelieve. The conversion of a soul requires the action of God, and He needs the person to be moving in one direction or the other.