Thanksgiving With Margaret And Helen

These rules for holiday dinners are courtesy of MargaretandHelen. It is too late for this Thanksgiving, but not for Christmas, and all the holidays in the future. (Rules 8 & 11 mention a certain celebrity. Chamblee54 considers this celebrity to be getting too much free publicity, and will not make the problem worse at this blog. If you want to read rules 8 & 11, use the link supplied above.)The pictures are from the past, courtesy of The Library of Congress
1. If it jiggles, slap a girdle on it or leave it at home. I am not kidding Cloe. One step inside my door with anything made from Jello and it will be your last step. I have about 50 pounds on you so don’t test me.
2. Rhonda. My house. Your pets. Never the twain shall meet.
3. Mary. My sofa. Your kid’s feet. Never the twain shall meet.
4. I have banned cans of soda. Two liter bottles of soda only. I am tired of throwing away half full cans of soda. If you are two young to lift a 2 liter bottle of soda to fill a glass, you are too young to be drinking soda un-supervised.
5. At age 84 and 11 months, I have had my picture taken more than enough times to fill any memory photo album. The digital era has made it too easy to take way too many useless pictures. Point one camera in my direction this year and I can promise you that your camera will be used to stuff something other than the turkey. When I am gone, feel free to remember me with pictures from my best year – 1962.
6. Texting and driving is just plain stupid. Texting and eating Thanksgiving dinner, however, is a crime punishable by no dessert.
7. Vegetarians really should consider Thanksgiving as a holiday from vegetarianism.
9. The Longhorns are having a difficult year. Your grandfather is aware of that. No need to remind him. Trust me on this one.
10. My Democrats are having a difficult year. I am aware of that. Feel free to remind me and I will, in turn, remind you of what I think of the current Republican Party. Trust me on this one.