Chamblee54

Cat Furniture Part Three

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on January 31, 2011






This is a rendering of Cat’s Cradle. Parts one and two are previously published. Pictures are from The Library of Congress . The picture of the Ambassador is from ” The Special Collections and Archives,Georgia State University Library”
24- what a wampeter is Mr. Vonnegut published a book of speeches, articles, and short stories once. It was called Wampeters, Foma & Granfalloons . PG got a copy at a flea market, as part of a boxed set, including Slaughterhouse-Five and God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater. In WF&G, Mr. V observes that many writers make more money by giving a speech than they do by writing a book. PG did not read much more of WF&G, and is uncertain what all those goofy concepts really mean.
25- the main thing about Dr. Hoenikker In this chapter, we learn that Dr. Hoenikker was interested in truth, or so the administrative flack says. The word truth is a conundrum. It is like those round things called a globe. They have bodies of water, and masses of land, and purport to tell the truth about the earth. However, they are always shown with the northern hemisphere on top. The majority of the people on this planet live in the northern half. However, if you were to see this planet from outer space, you would be likely to see it from other angles, and the southern hemisphere would be just as likely to be on top. Maybe truth depends on what angle you are looking in from.

26- what G-d is Miss Naomi Faust says that G-d is love, no matter what Doctor Felix Hoenikker thought. This phrase spelled backward is evol si d-G, which almost would make more sense if you changed the o to i, saying evil yes dog. When PG lived in the attic apartment, most of his white neighbors had dogs, and in one way or another the dogs were all problems. While some say that dog is nam’s best friend, PG has his doubts. PG does not agree with everything people say about G-d either, especially fictional characters from 52 years ago.

27- men from mars Dr. Hoenikker liked to photograph cannonballs stacked up in front of courthouses. There is a building on Marietta Street where a bunch of cannonballs are stacked up in pyramid fashion. They have been welded together so they reamain in this shape, and greedy passersby don’t take one home. Cannonballs are much more pleasant when they are not used to kill people, unless it is a Yankee.

28- mayonnaise The other time PG did this render by chapter thing, the model book was “Trout Fishing In America”, The last chapter of TFIA is “The mayonnaise chapter”, and the last word is mayonnaise. Richard Brautigan did not like hippies, drank too much, and came to an unhappy end. Maybe he should have stuck to fancy ketchup.

29- gone, but not forgotten PG copped free tickets to see Neil Young once. The show was at the Omni, and there were lots of unsold seats. A man stood out in front of a radio station office, and had a shoebox full of tickets. Neil Young ( who is just as ugly as Neal Boortz) did a song about rust that night. There was a line…”the king is gone but he’s not forgotten, this is the story of johnny rotten.” .

30- only sleeping When in Ilium, do as the Iliuminati do. Dr. and Mrs. Hoenikker are buried in Ilium. The Mrs. has a hunk of marble 20 feet tall, with poems by her two older children. The marker for the Doctor is a forty centimeter cube, This was in his will. Forty centimeters is 1 9/16″. The monuments were financed by the Nobel Prize.

31 another breed The man who carves headstones in Ilium is Marvin Breed, the brother of Asa Breed. When PG was seven years old, his next door neighbor was Marvin Murphy. He wore undershirts with the straps over the shoulder, which is called tank top today,but was not fashionable in 1961. Marvin Murphy smoked cigars, and chewed Red Man tobacco. Every few minutes, he would go out the back door, stand on the landing, and spit.

32- Dynamite Money Dr. Hoenikker won the Nobel Prize. The prize was financed by Alfred Nobel, who invented dynamite. Mr. Nobel was reading a newspaper one day, after his brother had died, and the newspaper got the facts wrong. The obituary said ” The merchant of death is dead”, and reported that Alfred had met his maker. The chemist Nobel was concerned about how posterity would view him, and set up a trust with his fortune, to be paid out to people who won his prize. It is not likely that a scientist, working on the atomic bomb, won the Nobel Peace Prize. However, the Nobel Peace Prize is not what it used to be.

33- an ungrateful man Marvin Breed was not a fan of Felix Hoenikker. This is not uncommon in history. For every great man, there is a mere mortal who thinks the annointed one is a son of a bitch. Even Jesus managed to get people so mad at him that…you know the rest of the story. Getting back to Iliuminati, there were rumors that Asa Breed was the secret bf of Emily Hoenikker. There are 94 chapters left, both in the book, and in the PG notes.

34 -vin-dit During the conversation with Marvin Breed, John asks about a certain carved headstone in the shop. It turns out a man ordered it for his wife, and then got robbed. The Breed family was fond of this stone, and refused to sell it. John took a close look at the stone, and saw that the name carved on it was the same as John’s last name. PG promises to tell the last name of John when it is revealed in the book. People named John need a last name, preferably one that isn’t Jones or Smith. PG, by contrast, was named Cam by his well meaning parents. After 56 years of explaining his name whenever introduced, PG now uses Luther, his first name.

35 -Hobby Shop The oldest son of Dr. Hoenikker was named Franklin. He was a weirdo, just like the rest of the family. Franklin made models, and went to Florida after his father died. Franklin had the bad fortune to get involved with a criminal operation, and is widely believed to be deceased. PG has a sense that F-H ( no middle name has been assigned yet) is going to appear at some point in this tale. And no, when PG refers to Mary’s babydaddy as G-d, he does not imply that Mr. Dammit has a middle name. That is just how some people spell G-d. PG tries not to think about G-d too much, which requires great concentration in the Jesus happy United States.

36- meow John made a foolish mistake. When he left for Ilium, he let a poet stay in his apartment. The man did not appreciate the kindness, and returned it by trashing the apartment. The poet must have been a jesus worshiper. John should forgive him.

37- a modern major general John finds an advertisement for the republic of San Lorenzo, which will prove vital to the plot of this book. The word modern is used sarcastically, which is perhaps the best way to use this word. Modern implies that something is up to date, the state of the art. Once modern was seen as a good thing, then the avant garde took over, and then retro was the rage. We are in a post modern age, where we look back to see if we have indeed lost its way. Or perhaps, the best use of M word was a band that PG used to hear about. The band was the modern mannequins.

38- barracuda capital of the world The ad sang the praises of San Lorenzo, although if karaoke had been invented this melody would not be a hit. It seems that one of the founding fathers of this island delight was Frank Hoenikker, the wayward son of the atom bomb scientist. He is the blood son of Felix Hoenikker, although the path to glory is not yet spelled out. You have to have mysteries to keep those pages turning.

39- fata morgana In 1966, the Braves had been in Atlanta a year and a half, and had stunk. They lost more games than they won, and the thrill of major league baseball in a commode shaped stadium was wearing thin. One afternoon, a third baseman named Clete Boyer was at bat. A young lady got out of the stands, ran up to home plate, and gave Clete Boyer a big kiss. She was gently arrested and led off by the police. The lady was an exotic dancer named Morganna, the wild one. She was appearing in a nightclub on Peachtree Street at Broad Street. It was downtown, upstairs from a Krystal. The aroma of dried onions on the grill wafted upstairs, to the bar where Morganna, the wild one, performed.

40- house of hope and mercy San Lorenzo had characters, and a few plots. A man named Julian Castle gave up being a playboy to build a hospital, the house of hope and mercy. Shirley and goodness left mercy for greener pastures, and soon all she had was hope. Alas, Bob Hope was another celebrity who was beloved by millions and found boring by those who knew him best. Soon, Vietnam would come along, and his show would be booed by the servicemen ordered to attend. He sold his share in this hospital…which was nothing but a tax gimmick anyway…to some religious fanatic.

41-a karass built for two John is on a plane to San Lorenzo, to interview Julian Castle, or maybe his idiot son. There are a lot of idiot sons in this story, and most of the dads aren’t too bright either. His first two companions are the ambassador to San Lorenzo and his wife. An anagram for ambassador is mad ass boar. There used to be a restaurant downtown called the Ambassador, or maybe Buckhead.





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  1. Cat Furniture Part Four « Chamblee54 said, on February 7, 2011 at 2:51 am

    […] said “tmi”. The following is a rendering of Cat’s Cradle. Parts one, two,and three are previously published. 42-bicycles for Afghanistan This is the chapter title that made PG […]

  2. Cat Furniture Part Five « Chamblee54 said, on February 13, 2011 at 1:11 pm

    […] is a rendering of Cat’s Cradle. Parts one, two, three, and four are previously published. Pictures of C.S.A. soldiers are from The Library of Congress. […]

  3. Cat Furniture Part Six « Chamblee54 said, on February 18, 2011 at 10:04 am

    […] is a rendering of Cat’s Cradle. Parts one, two, three, four, and five are previously published. 76 Julian Castle agrees with Newt that everything is […]

  4. Cat Furniture Part Seven « Chamblee54 said, on February 23, 2011 at 8:23 am

    […] is a rendering of Cat’s Cradle. Parts one, two, three, four, five , and six are previously published. Pictures are from ” The Special […]

  5. […] is a rendering of Cat’s Cradle. Parts one, two, three, four, five , six, and seven are previously published.Pictures are from The Library of […]

  6. […] is a rendering of Cat’s Cradle. Parts one, two, three, four, five , six, seven, and eight are previously published. Pictures are from The Library of […]


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