Chamblee54

Cat Furniture Part Four

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on February 7, 2011







It was 2am on super bowl monday. PG had gone to a sb party the night before, and ate, and ate, and ate. By the time Ben Steeler through his final incomplete pass, PG scooped the last bit of chicken salad on a piece of garlic toast, and called it a night. When he got home,PG tried to sleep, but the undigested mass of food in his belly tried to keep coming up. It was time to work on the blog.

Some well meaning soul put up a note on facebook about 97 Things You Didn’t Know About William S. Burroughs . The irony of WSB being the intials of Mr. Burroughs and the Atlanta media oligarchy is not lost of PG, who wonders if the writer was am, fm, tv, or all three. PG said “tmi”.

The following is a rendering of Cat’s Cradle. Parts one, two,and three are previously published.

42-bicycles for Afghanistan This is the chapter title that made PG decide to take Cat’s Cradle home, before the idea of this rendering came along. It is like the concept of the paradigm. Or a train, which goes where the tracks tell it to go. This production is a train, always threatening to go out of control, that runs on the tracks of Cat’s Cradle. There was a movie director once name Louis Malle, who was married to Candice Bergen. He said something to a journalist once…There is the thesis, and the antithesis. I provide the synthesis. He was no relation to an exotic dancer named Anna Malle.

43- the demonstrator John is on his way to San Lorenzo, and a life changing vacation. Two of his fellow travelers are Hazel and H. Lowe Crosby. They have odd ideas, although that may be the impression they made in the imagination of Mr. Vonnegut. Hazel thinks everyone from Indiana is a special person, a hoosier. A friend of PG, who was from Indiana, told him that hoosier originally was a question, who’s your daddy. This caused confusion in some parts of town. Cars from Indiana used to have the word WANDER on the license plates. There is a powerful AM station in Fort Wayne IN, WOWO. When PG was a kid, he liked to listen to his mom’s clock radio, to see what AM stations he could pick up. One winter night, he left the radio set to WOWO. When his mom got up the next day, the radio said it was ten degrees below zero.

44- communist sympathizers The ambassador, Mr. Minton, was once fired for pessimism. H. Lowe Crosby heard this, and thought it was communism. The two have more in common than you might think. PG has frequently been accused of having a negative attitude, When this charge is made, one is guilty until proven innocent. After years of observation and calibration, PG decided that the negative attitude label boils down to “I don’t like you”. You could just as easily say communist, liberal, the devil, or poopyhead. These are things that someone says to insult someone they do not like, but need a reasonable excuse.

The number 44 merits a bonus paragraph. A coven of hippies at PG’s high school thought that 44 was a magic number. It was Hank Aaron’s number. It is the product of 2x2x11. The number 44 has many uses and abuses, and is a worthy paradigm for the train of synchronicity to travel down these tracks.

45-why americans are hated George W. Bush said we were hated because of our freedom. Others say because we contribute to the enslavement of others. As this is written, Egypt is in turmoil. Those who oppose the dictator have spoken out, made themselves known, and now the authorities are counterattacking. It is the same game that was played in Iran a few months ago. Since the USA maintains  high profile support of evil regimes, it gets the blame when these regimes start to crumble.

46 the bokonist method for handling caesar This dreary tale continues to talk about the would be holy man named Bokonon. This was written years before anyone knew who Yoko Ono was. That is a name, seven letters long, with one vowel repeated four times, and three consonants. None of these factors helps anyone who has to listen to her singing. As to caesar, there was an episode of the Beverly Hillbillies, where someone said something about caesar. Jethro said, caesar, all we did was hold hands. In any event, when dealing with caesar, make him a salad.







47-dynamic tensionJohn is reading a book about Bokonon on the flight to San Lorenzo, and comes to a passage about what Mr. Bo calls dynamic tension. To him, it is the symbiotic interplay between good and evil. Now, as all Rocky Horror show fans know, Rocky, bless his heart, thinks dynamic tension is hard work. Charles Atlas was busy with the funeral for Jack La Lanne.

48-just like saint augustine The book is telling the story of Bokonon, which is of minimal interest to his followers. A good fable is much more inspiring than the truth.

49 a fish pitched up by an angry sea Mr. Johnson, aka Bokonon, had many adventures before he settles on San Lorenzo. Some will read this and wonder why they can’t have adventures, write a holy book, and become the center of a Kurt Vonnegut novel. PG would rather be in an Erica Jong novel. Her characters get laid a lot. Anything is better than being in a Carl Hiassen novel, where you get killed in painful and unusual ways, unless you are the former governor of Florida. Maybe the ideal situation would be a character in the Bible. Then you could edit and translate your life the way you want it.

50 a nice midget The plane stops in Puerto Rico, and Newt Hoenikker and Angela Hoenikker Conners get on. This is noticed by the Indiana lady as the arrival of two more hoosiers. Newt has been in touch with John before, but strictly through correspondence. Now they meet in the flesh, or whatever you call a regular sized man meeting a midget. PG had a midget for a friend of a friend once. The intermediate friend got tired of the midget, and would pretend to not be home when she came to his apartment. This was thirty plus years ago, and PG wonders what ever happened to those people.

51-o.k. mom Newt and Angela are going to San Lorenzo to see their brother get married to the most beautiful woman in the world. Other than that, they agree to call the hoosier lady mom. Mom is a curious word. Upside down it is Wow. If you spell it different, it is omm, which is pronounced the same as om, the combination of all sounds. If you spell mom alphabetically it is mmo, which sounds like a health insurance option. It is a custom for people who are on camera to mouth the words hi mom. Once PG was taking phone calls for a public television fundraiser. He learned the secret was to keep a finger on the button, so the phone was able to take calls, look like you were talking on the phone, and keep an eye on the monitor. The camera only focuses on people who are talking, which encourages the viewers at home to call in, and pledge money for public television. This night was a Wednesday, and PG’s mom always got home from choir practice about 10 o’clock. After he knew she would be there, PG called home and said he was on TV. When the next break came, PG saw himself on the monitor, and said hi mom.

52-no pain This chapter dwells on the death of Felix Hoenikker, whose handiwork sent thousands of Japanese to meet their maker. In total contravention of the laws of karma, Dr. Hoenikker passed away in a chair, while facing the ocean. It was snowing, which is tough for southern beach people to understand, but apparently it does happen at beaches in Massachusetts. It was summertime when the bomb fell on Japan. Summertime, and the living is over. Fish are boiling, boiling now. George Gershwin was sometimes caught without the right thing to say.

53- the president of fabr-tek After Felix Hoenikker died, his daughter met a man, and married him. It turns out that she was not happy in the marriage, but we don’t know that yet.







54-communists, nazis, royalists, parachutists, and draft dodgers We have five groups of people here. Three of these groups end in ist, one in i, and one in er. Istististier, this could be a European name. The only one of these groups that still performs a service is parachutists. Royalists are forgotten, and communists and nazis live on as meaningless insults. That leaves draft dodger, and with the elevation of Bill Clinton to elder statesman status, soon draft dodger will be the answer to a trivia question. Someone threw a beer at Bill Clinton once. It was a draft, and he dodged it.

55- never index your own book John looks through the index of his book, and for some reason he shows it to the ambassador’s wife. It turns out that Mrs. Ambassador is a professional indexer. She has a low opinion of people who index their own book. This is probably the ancestor of the nifty algorithm that Mr.Google has ridden to internet dominance. The index can be a fun way to read a book. Look for something fun in the index, and go to that section.

56-a self supporting squirrel cage By various twists and turns, Bokonon…then known as Mr. Johnson…and a fellow named McCabe washed up on the island of San Lorenzo. The island was a mess of poverty and corruption. Just like the golf course of North Druid Hills road that PG caddied at, except that the players were not poor. One day, this elderly man missed a putt. He shouted out, shit,piss, and corruption. Those words have stayed in PG’s mind ever since.

57 the queasy dream McCabe and Johnson landed on an island without value. The land was worthless, and the people useless, except for reproduction. Every time a conqueror appears, the previous rulers hand him the keys, and run away screaming. These people have negative attitudes.

58- tyranny with a difference John puts down the book about Bokonon to go drink with Newt Hoenikker. Apparently, the little man had a taste for alcohol. When he was engaged to the Russian dancer, they had happy afternoons in the house on Cape Cod where Felix Hoenikker met eternity.

59-fasten your seat belts When a plane is ready to land, the passengers need to be in their seats. This does not apply to crash landings. In the flight described here, the passengers are well lubricated with booze, and dangerously generous with helpful opinions. Seat belts can be useful here.

60- an underprivileged nation This is another chapter about the worthlessness of San Lorenzo. It is noteworthy for the use of the word “feculence”. This either derives from feces or fecund. Fecundity is frequently fueled by feces, fanning flames for freedom.





6 Responses

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  1. chamblee54 said, on February 8, 2011 at 5:22 pm

    Can you comment in color?

  2. Cat Furniture Part Five « Chamblee54 said, on February 13, 2011 at 1:11 pm

    […] is a rendering of Cat’s Cradle. Parts one, two, three, and four are previously published. Pictures of C.S.A. soldiers are from The Library of Congress. 61-what […]

  3. Cat Furniture Part Six « Chamblee54 said, on February 18, 2011 at 10:04 am

    […] is a rendering of Cat’s Cradle. Parts one, two, three, four, and five are previously published. 76 Julian Castle agrees with Newt that everything is […]

  4. Cat Furniture Part Seven « Chamblee54 said, on February 23, 2011 at 8:23 am

    […] is a rendering of Cat’s Cradle. Parts one, two, three, four, five , and six are previously published. Pictures are from ” The Special Collections and […]

  5. […] is a rendering of Cat’s Cradle. Parts one, two, three, four, five , six, and seven are previously published.Pictures are from The Library of Congress. […]

  6. […] is a rendering of Cat’s Cradle. Parts one, two, three, four, five , six, seven, and eight are previously published. Pictures are from The Library of […]


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