Blonde Stories

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on March 31, 2011

A blond and her boyfriend are out in the woods hunting when the boyfriend collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The blond takes out her phone and calls 911.
She gasps: “My boyfriend is dead! What can I do?” The operator says: “Calm down, I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the blond says: “OK, now what?”

A Blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says “Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident. The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing “That’s horrible!!! So many men dying that way!! Confused, he says, “Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is always that risk involved.”
After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing, says, “How many is a Brazilian?”

A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
My goodness!” the trooper gasped. “Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma’am?” “Yes, officer, I’m just fine” the blonde chirped. “Well, how in the world did this happen?” the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
“Officer, it was the strangest thing!” the blonde began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ….”
“Uh, ma’am”, the officer said, cutting her off, “There isn’t a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth.

One morning a blonde’s husband was watching the traffic report on TV. They were talking about some maniac who was driving along the highway in the wrong direction and disrupting traffic. He knew his wife would be on that highway on her way to work and he didn’t want her to get hurt, so he called her to let her know.
“Honey, watch out this morning, there’s a lunatic driving the wrong way up the highway” he said.
Sounding terrified, she replied “It’s not just one!”

On a plane flight from Seattle to Chicago, a blonde was sitting in economy class. About half way through the flight, she got up and moved to an empty seat in first class. A flight attendant who observed this, went over to her and politely explained that she had to move back to economy class because that was what her ticket was for. The blonde replied, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Chicago and I’m staying right here.”
After several attempts to explain to the blonde why she had to return to economy class, the flight attendant gave up. She went to the cockpit and explained the situation to the pilot and co-pilot. The co-pilot said, “Let me try.” He went up to the blonde and politely tried to explain to her why she needed to return to her seat in economy class.
But the blonde only replied, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Chicago and I’m staying right here.” Frustrated, the co-pilot returned to the cockpit. He suggested that perhaps they should have the airline call the police and have her arrested when they land.
“Wait a minute,” said the pilot. “Did you say she’s blonde? I can handle this. My wife is a blonde. I speak Blonde.” So he went up to the woman sitting in first class and whispered something in her ear.
“I’m sorry,” said the blonde, and she promptly got up and returned to her seat in economy class.
“What did you say to her?” ask the astonished flight attendant and co-pilot.
To which the pilot replied, “I just told her that first class isn’t going to Chicago.”

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble, and are down to their very last $600.00. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.
Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, ‘When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I’ll contact you to bring the trailer with the truck to me so we can haul it home.’
The brunette arrives at the man’s ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, ‘I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I’ve bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.’
The telegraph operator explains that he’ll be glad to help her, and then adds, it will cost 99 cents a word.’ Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she’ll only be able to send her sister one word. After a few minutes of thinking, she  says, ‘I want you to send her the word ‘comfortable.’
The operator shakes his head ‘How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word ‘comfortable?’
The brunette explains, ‘My sister’s blonde.  She’ll read it very slowly… ‘com-for-da-bul.’

A blond was sitting at the local bar after work one evening watching the television. There was a news story on the tube about a man jumping off the roof of a ten story building. The bartender says “I bet $20 he will jump”. The blond says “you are on, I bet he won’t jump”. A few minutes later the man jumps and the blond starts to hand the bartender the $20 she just lost. The bartender confesses that the story was not live and he had seen it earlier in the day so he could not in good conscience take her money. The blond replies that he should take the money anyway as she had seen the story earlier in the day too and really didn’t think the guy would do it twice.
These reports were originally published at a Jesus Worship Forum.


Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on March 30, 2011

The note from blogger central was explicit. If chamblee54 does not produce 600 words on the new and improved war in Libya, then his license is in danger. So, in no particular order, here goes.

1- There is no shortage of commentary on this mess. Most of it is more heat than light. It would be great if people quit comparing BHO to GWB, Iraq to Libya, or Qaddafi to Hitler. Liberal and conservative has very little to do with this. Everyone is, to some degree or another, a hypocrite.

2- Muammar Qaddafi is a name brand villain. There was talk of sending a hit man to Libya in 1985 to take him out. If that had happened, some no name functionary would have taken over, and things would be the same today. It is easy to aim your rhetoric aat a person. This was the case with Saddam Hussein and Yassir Arafat. The pain of the Palestinian people did not go away when Mr. Arafat died.

3- Who are these rebels in Libya? If they oust Mr. Qaddafi, might they not turn out to be worse?

4- The United States is broke. We spend over a trillion dollars a year more than we take in. We don’t want to raise taxes. We cannot afford another war.

5- There are reports that the government in Bahrain is just as bloodthirsty as Mr. Qaddafi. Of course, they are not led by a brand name villain, and they are friendly to the USA. We probably will not intervene there. Ditto Saudi Arabia, multiplied by 12 million barrels of crude oil a day.

6- The troubles are spreading to Syria. This is on the border with Israel. To the USA, Israel is the only country that really matters. An armed intervention in Syria would endanger the refugees from Iraq. There are over a million Iraqi refugees in Syria. A war would have refugees. Will Israel take any in?

7- This is not 600 words. It is more than nothing at all. If you can’t say anything good, you should say nothing at all. The pictures are from The Library of Congress .

Typing With Mr. K Part Three

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on March 29, 2011

This is a desecration of Satori in Paris, by Jack Kerouac. Parts one and two have already been published. Pictures are from ” The Special Collections and Archives,Georgia State University Library”
20- Mr. K is riding a train to Brest, drunk as a skunk and needing a bath. He does the only thing that is appropriate, he starts preaching. There are so many obvious things to say about this, maybe we should just skip ahead to the next chapter. Or maybe not. PG is listening to a Grateful Dead download, and it is surprisingly good. So many of these concert tapes are from the over the hill days of this establishment. This show is from 1972, in New Jersey . At this time, PG was working at Northlake Mall, following the Budweiser Clydesdales with a shovel. This was also about the time when Jane Fonda went to Hanoi.
21- The train pulls into Rennes, and Mr. Noblet gets off the conveyance. Mr. K gets a flask of cognac, which he is left to drink by himself. This chapter is important because it fixes the date of the action as being 1965. PG was 11 years old in 1965, and played pop warner football. Bob Dylan played the electric guitar at the Newport Folk Festival on July 25, 1965, and was condemned as a sellout. It is unlikely that Mr. K was aware of this, or of very much other than his supply of alcohol. The war in Vietnam was escalating at this time, which is one more reason to drink, as if Mr. K needs one.

22- Mr. K arrives in Brest. It is 3 am, and the only people on the streets are mean looking young men, who Mr. K is afraid of. He tries to stay away from them, and starts singing with a bunch of drunken sailors. He is quite a sight. Meanwhile, the free association that this writing exercise is supposed to cut loose…it just is not happening. PG just finished editing a picture of a police car, that was parked in front of a mountain of fertilizer. The welcome wagon had pulled over a careless driver, and the meeting was held in the parking lot of Lowes. This is the location of the Frito Lay potato chip factory, which moved on to greener pastures a few years ago. The Frito plant used to make the whole neighborhood smell like pork rinds, on the days when they cooked those, so that probably works out for the gendarmes giving those poor children a ticket.

23- There is not much action in chapter 23, just a bit of ramble on the concept of changing your name. It seemed like Mr. K, and his ancestors, had a variety of surnames, before settling on Kerouac. Now, PG has, until recently, been at peace with the name his parents gave him. ( Which is not PG, btw.) For some weird reason, his folks decided to call him by a short version of his middle name, which caused all mean and manner of confusion. Since PG had no shortage of insecurities, having a strange first name only added to the drama. Well, his first name is fine and dandy, his daddy isn’t using it anymore, so PG is in the process of changing to using his first name. Except to the drunk a few weeks ago, who said, do you want me to call you Cluether? This would be a great name for a detective, and if PG were to use this handle, he could never be said to be clueless. It is all something to think about.

24- Mr. K is regressing, and calling himself Ti Jean. This means something John, and it was somewhat of a childhood name. Anyway, he is alone, drunk, and scared in a foggy city at 3 in the morning. He finds a police station, and the policeman looks at his passport, and shook his hand. This agrees with the profile of the concierge of the download site. Your resident caveman: Netanderthalian .. I am a graphic designer and I really like to play dead … Political correctness is a poor substitute for the common sense. I’m an atheist and I am partial to Occam’s Razor. There are over 100 bands in my top 10 bands. Concierge is a cool word, besides sounding french. It was immortalized in the movie “the producers”. The man goes to a shabby apartment, and meets the concierge. When he leaves, he says thank you madame. To which she replied, I am not a madame, I’m a concierge.

25- There is some padding to the conversation here. The only action if for the police to take Mr. K to a small inn on Rue Victor Hugo. PG used to know a couple, whose last name was Igo. They had a dog named Hugo. Mr. Igo was a piece of G-d’s work, and he vanished for a while after his divorce. Mr. Igo was back later with a new wife, whose first name was Kay. Kay Igo was the shortest name in Tall Clubs International, only six letters. Mr. Igo, another John, like Mr. K., only much less literate, was still a nuisance. He volunteered to run a weekend for the Atlanta Sky Hi club, and ran out of town with the proceeds. It got rid of him, so it was probably a good deal all around.

26- Mr. K spends the night in the inn, without his suitcase. Maybe that was the story with Joseph and Mary, there was room at the inn, but their bags were on the next camel coming into town. The three wiseman did not bring gold, but a toothbrush. With books you never know how it is going to translate. Anyway, the next morning Mr. K wants a beer for breakfast, and the innkeep says he would sober up better with a good breakfast. Afterwards, Mr. K goes out in search of the lost valise. This Grateful Dead download is really good. It is about the time of the Europe 72 triple album, which was one of the first albums by them that PG enjoyed. The christmas break of 1972, PG’s friend Clam had a buford hiway apartment by himself, and him and PG stayed stoned the entire time. Europe 72 was one of the albums they listened to. The song playing now is Tennessee Jed. PG was playing this once, when his neighbor asked “do you like that?” When PG said yes, the neighbor said “you are a hick”.

27- Mr. K does not learn from experience. Once again, he is asking directions in a bar. A mailman does not know where the airline office is. This disturbs Mr. K, and compares it to giving an African tourist, in New York, directions to the Bowery, where he is murdered and dismembered by drug addicted punk rockers. Wait a minute, they did not have punk rockers in 1965. Never mind, said Emily Latella, who would come over from New Jersey to commit the foul deed herself. Bitch. However, Mr. K is persistent, and ignores all the bad vibes of a mailman who will not ring twice, and gets the directions to the airplane office from the bartender. This has not worked well in the past, but Mr. K is an optimist.

28- The bag will not arrive in Brest until noon, and Mr. K wants to get out of town. There is scenery there, but he does not have a hotel room, and there is no one to talk to. He can always drink by himself, and probably talk to himself, but he is waxing philosophical. Just like Michele Bachmann . She is a republican congresslady, who just says the darnedest things. “”And what a bizarre time we’re in, when a judge will say to little children that you can’t say the pledge of allegiance, but you must learn that homosexuality is normal and you should try it.””I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out then under another Democrat president Jimmy Carter. And I’m not blaming this on President Obama, I just think it’s an interesting coincidence.” “How did the pig get out of the pen? The swine flew” Miss Bachmann only said two of those three things.

29- Just before PG gets frustrated at the lack of action in this volume of typing, the pace picks up. Mr. K is in a bar, drinking away his last two hours in Brest. The barkeep takes bets over the telephone, which is how the place makes it’s money. So, Mr. K gets to chatting with the man, and before long is talked into meeting one of the Lebris (spell check suggestion: Debris, Celebrity, Bristle )family that still lives in Brest. He takes another bet, and talks about the Lebris gynecologist who loves the thighs of women. So, Mr. K is fascinated by now, and probably starting to be less drunk, and agrees to walk over to the restaurant where Mr. Libris can be found.

Joe Bageant

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on March 29, 2011

A few years ago, PG still had a job. The industry was crashing before his eyes, but PG never gave less than one hundred percent. One of the ways the company had of saving money was to order people to clock out, and take a full hour for lunch, everyday. PG used this time to look at the internet. One day, he stumbled onto Joe Bageant.

The blog was an eye opener. It was the sort of talk that PG enjoyed…that the biznocracy ran America, and the political parties were a sham. Liberal and conservative, black and white, gay and straight…these were useless labels, used by the ruling class to divide and conquer. Bageant said that the media view of America was a hologram, with no relation to reality.

After a while, PG got tired of reading Joe Bageant. Maybe it was the discouraging thought that the man was correct, but that there was nothing that could be done. It is the same realization that PG came to in 1986, with the Government importing cocaine to pay for an undeclared war, while declaring a drug war on it’s own citizens. You were either fighting a losing battle, or flying under the radar, while working for the emperor’s tailor.

Meanwhile, Joe Bageant kept on keeping on. His best days were behind him, and the excesses of his youth were catching up. He published a book, Deer Hunting with Jesus: Dispatches from America’s Class War. He taped an interview with dangerousminds to promote this book. This interview gives you a twenty minute look into Joe Bageant. You can listen to it while multi tasking.

One of the themes here is the tendency of working class people to do things against their best interests. In the 1860s, the south fought a gruesome war against the north. One of the major reasons was the question of slavery. The poor white people of the south fought, and died, for the ability of their snooty neighbor to own slaves. There was no good reason for white trash to die for the right of someone else to own slaves, and yet they did it. They believed they were “fightin for my rats”.

Joe Bageant took his last breath on March 26, 2011. Pictures today are from The Library of Congress.

The Mascara Snake Bites Bono

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on March 28, 2011

The screed below is a repost. This feature was the first time Chamblee54 used pictures from The Library of Congress. It is often said that opinions are like sphincters, that everyone has one. The talent discussed below is in the same boat…they produce mountains of  waste, which will not grow roses.

This is far from a comprehensive list. Bruce Springsteen, Pink Floyd, Jethro Dull Tull, and Led Zeppelin inspire similar fervor. The line that usually applies is “they put their pants on one leg at a time”. For the Red Hot Chili Peppers, substitute socks for pants.
The digital medium listverse posted a list of “10 Rock Bands You Either Hate Or Love“. What follows is a commentary by PG about these acts. If you are not interested in opinions, skip to the pictures.
10- Captain Beefheart and his magic band-There was a sampler LP by Warner Brothers around 1970 or so. Available only by mail order, the LP had songs by a variety of Warner Brothers artists. Captain Beefheart was represented by “Hiella guru”, which had a sort of catchy sound. A voice said something like ” Damascus estate”, which fit the overall dada sound of the band. Years later, a groupie wrote a tell all book about her youthful adventures. It turns out the voice said “The mascara snake”
In between the sampler LP and the groupie tell all book, Captain Beefheart played a show at the Great Southeast Music Hall, then located in Cherokee Plaza. PG liked to show up after the second set had started, and the ticket takers left the door open. The night CB played, PG mistimed his visit, and got to talk to a high school classmate, but did not see the show.

09-Metallica- There was a saying in “The electric kool aid acid test” ( which was not the origin of the phrase “drink the kool aid). The merry pranksters set off on a trip around america, and someone said “you are either on the bus or off the bus”. Those might not be the exact words, and they don’t sound as profound without the acid to drive home the emblematic attitude.

Getting back to Metallica, PG has never been on the bus for heavy metal. He heard a thing by Metallica on the radio that was pretty cool. He then read an interview, that made Metallica look like a bunch of alcoholic right wing jerks. They stagger all the way to the bank.

08-U2- Paydirt. The favorite band of millions, U2 can make PG switch radio stations faster than a used car dealer commercial. Incriminating evidence of Payola in the radio industry,the U stands for Ugh. The guitar player only seems to know one riff. If autos could run on Bono’s ego, there would be no energy crisis ever. Bono is a vocal Jesus Worshiper, with Episcopal churches having U2 services.

07-Aerosmith- These guys are famous today because they didn’t OD, despite the best efforts of Stephen Tyler. The simply are not that good. The rabbit is not the only thing that died.

06-Sonic Youth-PG quit being hip a long time ago. Once he saw a comment about Bono, and thought it was about Sonny. He does not know enough about Sonic Youth to have an opinion. For once, that is going to stop him.

05-Elvis Presley- There was a story about Elvis and Natalie Wood. She wanted him to be in a movie she was making, and he did a screen test. To the surprise of many, Elvis could act when he wanted to. The only trouble was, Colonel Tom Parker did not want him to do the film, and so it didn’t happen.

Elvis is an American phenomenon. He was the union of hype and talent. He was also watched over by Colonel Tom Parker, and never stepped out of the role that was chosen for him. Elvis also had the musicians gift for self destruction.

PG heard a racist rant about Elvis once, to the effect that Elvis stole his music from black people. Which only means that it was worth taking.

04-The Beach Boys-Like Elvis, The Beach Boys are tough to not like. Even Nancy Reagan was a fan, and Brian Wilson did not just say no. Maybe they became a self parody, but when they were in the early sixties prime, there was no one who could sing like them.

03-The Velvet Underground-The Velvets existed before recording technology could handle them. There recorded output sucks. The Andy Warhol days were essentially an audition for John Cale, Lou Reed, and Nico. All of them did outstanding work after the demise of the VU. When PG saw Lou Reed doing car commercials…

02-The Eagles- PG read the tell all book by Don Felder. This is a mean, selfish bunch. They made some good records, and did mountains of drugs. Eagles lyrics are endlessly quoted by people who are trying to appear hipper than they really are. Maybe they are elbowsters.

PG stood outside the Omni one night, trying to get a ticket to see The Eagles inside. One of the scalpers had a t shirt, with the phrase “DISCO SUCKS” in six inch tall letters. This negativity is what PG associates with The Eagles.

01- The Grateful Dead-PG has written about the Dead before. Lots of people think they are groovy. What is usually not said out loud is the “other ones”, who are not on the bus.
The Dead liked to be loose on stage. Sometimes, this translated into shows that were horrible. Many people, not indoctrinated into the cult of Jerry, went to one of these shows and decided that yes, they were dead, or at least smelled like it. This download ,from a 1991 show, is an example. Many of their later shows were more family gatherings than musical events.

Dead heads can also be a problem. Like some of the other units in this list, there are fanatic followers of the GD. Like many fanatics, they sometimes turn as many people away from the object of adoration, as the do towards it.

To The Bombs Of Tripoli

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on March 27, 2011

“Thinking hard about you I got onto the bus and paid 30 cents car fare and asked the driver for 2 transfers before discovering I was alone.” /// PG drove 25 miles in the rain to a party. When he got there, the driveway was blocked by a police car. PG went home. ///”The silence of the snow in the mountains will be roaring in the creek by my house in a few days.” /// Spring is the earth waking up. When this happens, the snoring of the planet stops, the forests do a few quick stretches, and the rivers run down the hall to piss. /// “I lift the toilet seat as if it were the nest of a bird and I see cat tracks all around the edge of the bowl.” /// Tonight was earth night, and people were told to turn their lights out for one hour. This was supposed to increase consciousness of the use of electricity, and the excessive lighting of the planet. Some idiot on the east west connector decided to drive with his headlights turned off, and his emergency blinkers flashing. This will not increase consciousness about the sad state of the planet. ///”Television crippled the imagination and turned people indoors and away from living out their own fantasies with dignity.” /// Maybe driving on the east west connector without headlights, in the rain, was this man’s idea of a fantasy. This is not a crippling of the imagination, but warping it into something dangerous. And it might have been a woman, as PG did not discuss pronouns with this driver. ///”Your heart is like a sea gull frozen into a long distance telephone call.” /// When this was written, long distance was expensive. Today, long distance is free if you use a cell phone. In both times, sea gulls are vile, nasty animals that the planet would be better off without. /// “That is the last place in the world where you want to be but you have to be there, like a movie, because it features you.” /// Just because everyone else is going crazy about something , this does not mean that you are required to have an opinion. You just might have more peace of mind if you practice this. /// “I could feel somebody inside of her looking out as if her body were a castle and a princess lived inside.” /// At a red light, PG was behind a truck, from Fayette County, that either had it’s high beams on, or which had especially bright headlights. PG drove at 30 mph until this idiot passed him. Behind PG at this red light was the person driving without headlights /// “Half-children are playing in the street below. Their voices travel up to us like a piano with half its keys missing.” /// Kevin Sessums (spell check suggestion: Possums) had a quote by Elizabeth Taylor. The item was off the record until she died. Within 24 hours of her demise, Mr. Sessums talked about the item. Her fingernails were still growing. /// “It is against the natural order of death for a trout to die by having a drink of port wine.” /// It is even worse for the trout to drink King Cotton Peach Wine.  It was so foul, it could not be sold outside the state of Georgia.

“I just spent the last half-an-hour watching a Japanese children’s program on television… We know what we like.” /// Mr. B, will you ever get over your Japanese wife? Even death does not seem to help. /// “I always considered my body to be more possessions than I ever needed and so everything else had to be simple.” /// Even if a car was simple, it would still need a parking space and a gas station. On the way home from his aborted party night, PG had to stop for gasoline.The golfer Jack Nicklaus once said, the two biggest wastes of time were getting a haircut and filling your car with gasoline. /// “Japan begins and ends with Japan. Nobody else knows the story. / … Japanese dust in the Milky Way.” /// Japan has a cruel relationship with atomic energy. First the bomb was dropped, then the tsunami washed out a peaceful nuke plant. It is strange to get a karmatic blowback from receiving a nuclear bomb blast. ///”Mouths that kissed in the hot ashes of Pompeii are returning” /// The are lining up at the return desk to get a refund. They were not the correct size. /// “The thing that she was looking at was inside of herself. It had a shape that only she could see.” /// If she went on a diet, then that shape would be smaller. If the diet was communist, then the people would own it. If Yoko Ono was a man, she still could not sing very well. /// “We have the power to transform our lives into brand-new instantaneous rituals” /// If this is true, then the Jesus Worship church could use a bit more imagination in the Sunday Morning get togethers. Or maybe they could team up with weight watchers, to combat obesity in the church. /// “I can see at a glance, though, that you are something like me. You’re not at home in the world.” /// Just because you pay the property taxes does not mean you are at home. /// “Her face had that soft marble quality to it that beautiful women have when they are suddenly awakened and are not quite ready for it” /// PG is not a beautiful woman, and is seldom ready to wake up. /// “She loves flowers but she doesn’t have any windows in her hotel room, so she grows them by candlelight.” /// She also loves wisdom, but does not know how to read. She learns by watching Fox news. “Her lips are so red they make blood seem dull, a useless pastime.” /// There is a lot of talk about Libya these days. It makes PG’s head hurt, because he does not know what to do. Not that the leaders of the world asked him. /// “Cobalt Necessity: It’s just one of those things. When you need cobalt nothing else will suffice.” /// This is a conversation with the reputed ghost of Richard Brautigan . Part one was posted a few weeks ago. Pictures by PG.

Where People Live

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on March 26, 2011

The US Census is starting to release numbers for the 2010 count. Statistics junkies are going to be reported missing soon. HT to Jim Galloway. Pictures are from The Library of Congress.

There is an interactive chart at the New York times that can easily take up your afternoon. Here are a few random observations.

The population of Georgia is 9,687,643. This is an increase of 18.3% over 2000. ( From here on, when you see increase of, you can assume that it is from 2000). In Georgia, we have whites 56%, blacks 30%, hispanics 9% ( an increase of 96%) asians 3% ( an increase of 82%), and multiracial 2%.

There is a dark blue ring, of population growth, in OTP Atlanta. Paulding County grew 74% and Henry County grew 70%. Gwinnett County grew 36%, to 805k people. At any given time, 100k are on I85.

The census tract on the east side of Clairmont Road, including PDK, is 92% hispanic.

The only state to lose population is Michigan, with Puerto Rico also reporting fewer residents. Most of the counties in Mississippi, along the big river, lost population.

There is another dandy map, showing dots for the different population groups. This can be enlarged to a ridiculous size. According to this map, there are 25 hispanics living on the Golf course at the Peachtree Country Club.

Death Taxes And Spam

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on March 25, 2011

If Ben Franklin were alive today, he would say that three things are certain…death, taxes, and spam.

There is a picture on an Israeli website of Sarah and Todd Palin, along with Sara and Benjamin Netanyahu. The wife of the Prime Minister seems to be enjoying herself. PG found a copy of the picture in a folder, and decided that a good title would be “Que Sara Sarah”.

The next stop was the email folder. In the spam folder was a message, YOU WON. The sender was Sara Mohammed.

Trivia Question Of The Day

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on March 25, 2011

A facebook friend displayed an application for a Trivia Question of the Day. When you type TQOTD into google, the nifty algorythym produces 1.6 million results. There are a few suggestions for the next word of your search. You can find the TQOTD for kids, get an email, or get results with funny and sports. Google does not care if you have too much free time.

The top result is Trivia Company. Apparently the need for trivia is such that a proprietary company can warehouse useless knowledge. The top of the web page boasts “Trivia Company: The Correct Choice for Content…The World’s #1 Supply of Original Trivia Content…Supplying Engaging Content Since 1995…Trivia Company now does Iphone Apps.”

Trivia Cafe has a colorful page, with an ad for AT&T. Their QOTD is “Q: In the same way that humans are identified by their fingerprints, dogs are identified by what kind of prints? A: NOSE PRINTS ” The result is sponsored by a cartoon banana, telling you about foods you should not eat.

If your salary is trivial, you might enjoy the Workers’ Compensation Discussion Forums / Trivia question of the day. The question today is “If a baby chicken is a chick, A baby goose is a gosling, What is a baby turkey called ? I believe it’s called a poult! ” The people in this forum all have inspirational messages at the bottom of the answer window. An example is “PRAY FOR PEACE – PRAY FOR AMERICA – PRAY OUT OBAMA.” It is tough to tell the difference between trivia and motivation.

An Irish venue called The New Republic has a “Demographic Trivia Question Of The Day” Today the query is “How much, in percentage terms, has the white population of Detroit declined from its high in the mid-1950s? Answer is in the comment section.” If you really care, you can use the link. This page advertises the xfinity triple play, from comcast.

Cool Quiz is a pastel colored return to serious trivia. It informs us that “Today is: Pecan Day in the USA. ” It explains the meaning of mufti, which is non uniform civilian clothes. And, in a trivia tour de force. it reminds us that this is the birthday of Elton John.

It turns out that March 25 is quite a day for singers. In addition to Reg Dwight (1947), today is the bd of Aretha Franklin (1942) and Anita Bryant (1940). Other arrivals include Jack Ruby (1911), Howard Cosell (1918), and Flannery O’ Connor (1925). The sad news is the loss of Buck Owens in 2006.

To get the Public CEO daily trivia question, you have to sign up for their daily email. ( BTW , that is now the correct spelling of email. The dash is no longer appropriate.)

A radio station has the Country Music Trivia Question Of The Day. Q: What artist was recently made a lifetime honorary firefighter in Tennessee? A: Craig Morgan.

A blogspot facility called Oodles of Fun contributes a toughie. ” On this day in 1888, what troubled artist chopped off part of his own ear? Vincent Van Gogh ” This is sponsored by the DogBreedStore.

Office Tally is “the top fansite for NBC’s hit comedy, ‘The Office’!” The trivia question here regards where one of the characters went to college. A commenter named Bill Buttlicker says “I could picture Jim going to PSU. He seems like a state university guy. Nittany Lions FTW”.

The first page of google results has only one more listing. If you can’t stand it anymore, you can skip ahead to the pictures. ( ” The Special Collections and Archives,Georgia State University Library” ) An establishment called My Football Facts has a daily trivia question. ” Q: Which club has been relegated the most times from the Top Flight of English Football? A: Birmingham City have been relegated 11 times (1896, 1902, 1908, 1939, 1950, 1965, 1979, 1984, 1986, 2006 and 2008).

Singers Who Wear Wigs

Posted in Library of Congress, Music, Uncategorized by chamblee54 on March 24, 2011

If you go to google, and type in “singers that wear wigs”, the first name to appear is Mary J. Blige. PG does not follow her closely, but went to youtube and found a video. This is probably not her real hair.

Dolly Parton is known for a lot of things, at least two of which are real. The hair is not. If you ask her “How long does it take to do your hair?”, she says “I don’t know, I’m never there”

If anyone is known for enhancing her natural attributes, it would be Cher. Her fondness for plastic surgery is well known, as is the way her head fits in a hairpiece. In this number, Mrs. Bono talks about some of her favorite people.

Grace Slick is basically retired these days. In her hey day, she never appeared in public in her real hair. PG saw her at the Omni once, and was horrified by her wig. ( Grace sells her paintings these days. Her white hair is cut short. The wigs are in a museum.)

RuPaul is not really blonde. That is a part of her wardrobe. In this video, she co stars with Martha Wash, in a remake of “It’s Raining Men”. The working title for this video was Piggly Wiggly.

It is a bit of show business wisdom that you put the horses at the end of a parade. Deaundra Peek fills this important role today. Last year it was a remake of “Supermodel”, which has copyright issues. Today, it is a cooking lesson. The last three characters of the Youtube code are M2M.
This is a repost. Pictures are from The Library of Congress. As a bonus to our reader(s), we will explore the issue, Does Lady Gaga wear a wig? The answers are a bit contradictory, which is somehow fitting. One page says she does not wear a wig, but does wear extensions in some videos. Another answer is that dying her hair is damaging to the hair, if she went to a salon the paparazzi would see her, so yes, she does wear a wig. If you have too much free time, here is a forum discussion on this subject.

Typing With Mr. K Part Two

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on March 22, 2011

This is the PG notes edition of Satori in Paris by Jack Kerouac. Part one has been published.

11- When you get directions to the library from a bartender, there is a chance you will smell like liquor when you get there. Mr. K is older, rough looking, and happy smelling, and the stuffy staff at the library is not going to give him much help. This reminds PG of a couple of days he worked in 1975, as the box toter on a sampling project. The idea was to have ladies on downtown street corners giving away samples of some new product. The merchandise was either cigarettes, dog food, or tampons. In fact, when the product was tampons, that was what the company man called it…the product. On these two days in 1975, PG was working with an antique dealer, who was driving his van. Between runs, the man would go into stores and look at merchandise. This is what antique dealers do. His specialty that day was silver christmas tree ornaments. He would go in, and look at the back of the instrument to see who made it. The hosting antique dealers were not happy to see a man wearing a sweatshirt looking at their merchandise, just like the French librarians were not happy to see Mr. K, happy with cognac, looking at their books.

12- Mr. K asks a lot of people where Pascal and Balzac are buried, even though it is not really them, it is just what remains of their bodies. This is why they call it remains, especially when they used to play in the Ramones. But then, Joey Ramone’s real name was Jeffry Ross Hyman. Paul Simon used to use the name Paul Ramon as an alias at hotels, and Jeffry and his buddies borrowed that for a stage name. Channel five used to have a General manager named Paul Raymond, who read the editorials when they really meant it. Getting back to Balzac, he is buried in Cemetery of Pere-Lachaise. CPL has a really cool website…you type in a name, and they show you where the bones are buried. All sorts of famous people are resting there.

13- Mr. K has dinner, paying roughly five dollars for a glorified hot dog. He sees some americans behaving badly. In the previous chapter, we have a link to Cemetery Pere Lachaise. PG went looking for this link, and found it in a folder called shortcuts. The link above it was People who deserve it. This site, once wildly popular, details people that do offensive things. An example would be “the guy who takes eight hours to tell the story of his cat’s leaky hemorrhoids which could have been distilled down to 27 equally excruciating seconds, after you’ve just dropped all the brown acid.” According the PWDI, this justifies punching the person in the face. The link below Pere Lachise is Perez Hilton. Just when you thought it was safe to venture out on the information superhighway, Mario Laundromat reminds you that watching TV really isn’t that bad of an idea.

14- The plan for the trip had been simple. Go to the library in Paris, learn about his ancestors, go to the village where they lived, sit down beside the Atlantic Ocean and write about it all. The clothes he brought did not fit the weather he found. The idea when traveling is to travel light, but you always seem to forget something you need, and drag along something you never wear. PG expects to forget something everytime he travels.

15- Mr. K meets a Jewish couple, they drink together, or rather they ate and Mr. K consumed cognac. The three of them see a movie, and then Mr. K goes to dinner at a highly recommended restaurant. He is still high, and talks loudly to anyone who will listen. To hear Mr. K talk, it is the Quebecois who speak French properly, and the Parisian version that is the corruption. The people are amused, and he lives  and drink another day.
Lets hear it for multi tasking. At the moment, as PG writes this commentary on Kerouac, he is listening to Joni Mitchell, drinking coffee, washing clothes, and editing pictures of a trip to north avenue. The picture of the moment was taken from the bridge over i75-85. They have this thick wire fence to keep you from jumping off, regardless of whether it is a tech student with bad grades or someone who ate at the varsity and is recovering slowly. PG worked across the street from the vargreasy for seven years, and only ate at that wretched greasepit a couple of times.

16- This is the last day for Mr. K in Paris, He meets a man who promises to help him at the library, but the man has a crisis and sends his secretary. The woman is beautiful, and useless. Mr. K is told, again, that the Nazis burned the family records. After this, he goes by the office of his French publisher, only to be insulted by the secretary and made fun of by the authors in the waiting room. Meanwhile, in 2011 Chamblee, PG is interrupted in writing the last paragraph by a phone call. It is his brother GP, calling to say that he has a ride home from the train station. GP always starts his calls by saying ” PG, this is *pause* GP” This is despite the fact that the screen on the phone tells you who is calling, and the fact that nobody PG knows has a voice like his brother. When their mother was working, when GP got home he would call her and say ” Hello mom, this is GP. I am at home.” This was before cell phones.

17- Mr. K buys a plane ticket to Brest, and listens to the squawk box announcing flights to Johannesburg and Karachi before they announce the flight to Brest. When he gets to the check in spot, there is a delay, and Mr. K walks the length of the airport to use the toilet, which means giving a tip to the lady who cleans the joint. He goes to the take off lounge, and discovers the flight to Brest has left, with his luggage but without him.
Neal Boortz tells a story about a neighbor of his. The man used to travel with his wife a lot, and they always took separate planes. So, they were leaving France, and the man had some business to conduct there, so he sent his wife ahead without him. The flight was the infamous crash that wiped out blue blood Atlanta in 1962. The man watched as the plane crashed in flames, killing his wife.

18- With the plane in the air, Mr. K is not going to board it. He gets a train ticket, and finds a seat in a crowded compartment. There is a priest, a soldier, a drunk, and two pleasant looking women. If that last adjective had dropped the l, it would have been two peasant looking women. This might have been a significant difference in the meaning.
PG violated a rule today, and it may have had disastrous results. The rule is to never speak of Sarah Palin on his blog. The woman gets way too much publicity, and her admirers just admire her more when it is negative. The problem is, there was a story about the P lady that was too funny not to write about. It seems that *this person* was on a publicity trip to Israel, which is a requirement for those who covet the office of POTUS. A picture was posted, of Mr. and Mrs. P along with Sara and Benjamin Netanyahu. Mrs. N looks a bit tipsy, with an embarrassed husband holding her back. One wonders whether it was the P lady or the first dude that she lusted for, or maybe both. Some pictures are worth more than a thousand words.

19- It is going to be a long ride, and Mr. K is going to need alcohol. The drunk in the cabin is named Jean-Marie Noblet, and he becomes the instant drinking buddy of Mr. K. They walk through seven coaches, weaving between crowds of people, before finally getting to the man who sells spirits. They buy two bottles of wine, drink them on the spot, and then buy two more bottles.
Joni Mitchell music has run out, and Nico is on the media player now. This was taped at a live concert, and is nothing but the chanteuse singing by herself, with someone playing a harmonium. It is creepy and kooky, as though Lurch was sitting in on harpsichord. The show was played in a historic French cathedral, with Tangerine Dream as the headliners. The house was horribly oversold, people were packed in like sardines, and many pissed in the spots where they stood. The church was horrified at what happened to their precious cathedral, and swore that no more concerts would take place there.

Give This Woman A Lesson

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on March 22, 2011

Andrew Sullivan has two posts today about Israel. He is a lame duck at the Atlantic,  before moving on to greener pastures. The two posts today have a yin yang dimension.

The more thoughtful post is a link to a podcast featuring Gideon Levy. Mr. Levy is an Israeli journalist who regards the Palestinians as human beings, and is not well regarded by many as a result. The discussion regards the tiger that Israel is riding. It will be very, very difficult to continue the status quo situation with the Palestinians. On the other hand, if they climb down from the tiger, and give some freedom to the occupied people, they will be the recipient of revenge. This  happened when the settlements in Gaza were taken down.

Mr. Levy says he is a friend of Israel, who is telling the unpopular truth. He compares it to the keepers of a drug addict, who can either continue to finance the addiction, or force the druggie into treatment. There are no easy answers, and the podcast is thought provoking, and might cause brain damage.

The other post is about the P lady. This blog has tried to be a Palin free zone. The lady is getting way too much publicity, and chamblee54 is protesting. However, this story is  just too funny to ignore.

It seems that the P lady is on a visit to Israel, with photographers at every turn. ( There is a picture at the ynet site that delights body english readers. It shows Sarah and Todd Palin, posing with Sara and Benjamin Netanyahu.) The story is that the Palins went to visit Bethlehem. The problem is, they did not get permission first, and were turned away at a checkpoint.

The ynet site is commercial, and has numerous ads. If you click on the page, there is a real estate ad in Hebrew. Other ads include Jewish dating services,  Alaska cruises, and the Jesus trail walking tour.

The real fun to the story about Sarah and Todd ( is he afraid to let her go out by herself?) is in the comment section. Yes, Israel does have a free press. Try not to read these while drinking beverages.

2. She missed nothing …Bethlehem is a shithole, crowded, dirty, full of heckling, aggressive merchants – and I say this, despite being a Christian. The PA is welcome to it. There are far better places in Israel to tour. Linichka Gdynia, Poland3. What is it with xtians and their plunging necklines … can someone give this woman a lesson in “decent” dressing. This is the HOLY Land not Las Vegas. Sarah Esther, Israel7. Sarah Esther….what are you doing looking at YNET pictures? Shame on you, Sarah Esther! If you think her neckline is too low, then you shouldn’t even be on Ynet in the first place! The two pictures in this article show her decently dressed, unless you’re a closet lesbian with the hots for ornery shicksas from Alaska? Does your rebbe know you are surfing the web? Brian Cohen , Judean Peoples Front 8. Sarah Esther – you been to Tel Aviv beach recently? SD , Londonistan12. This reinforces the impression…that Sarah Palin is a simple woman. If she truly neglected to make special arrangements to acquire permission to enter Bethlehem because of her ignorance of the status of Bethlehem, it’s just another example of her simplicity. Unless there’s something else that we’re unaware of, and assuming the article is accurate, then this story shouldn’t really surprise any of us who’ve paid at least some attention to Palin over the past few years. In other words, she’s not the brightest candle on the Hannukiah. Gabriel , Jerusalem17. I just hope the Republicans don’t put her up as their candid … If they do they will be handing the election to Obama. American voters don’t care if she has visited Israel or not they care about her domestic track record which other than being the champion of the Tea Party and governor that didn’t even complete a full term isn’t much. zionist forever