California Adult Authority

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on May 23, 2011

“I recommend carrying a broken clock with you at all times if you want to meet new friends.” /// Especially if you only tell the truth twice a day. /// “I picked a bouquet of kisses off her mouth and put them into a dawn-colored vase in my heart.” /// There is a dishwashing liquid called Dawn. It is very effective for getting grease and oil off your hands. It is a pleasant shade of dark blue, that few use to reference that shade. /// “Someday Time will die, and Love will bury it.”/// Time magazine has showed great resistance to termination. This might be due to the republican politics of the forties and fifties, before the myth of liberal media became accepted as fact. /// “What would you do if the rain fell up? Get used to living on a cloud, I guess.” /// If rain fell up, then everything else would fall up. The gravity paradigm would be rotting, along with the apple that hit Mr. Newton on the head. /// “There’s an old San Francisco saying that goes: ‘It’s better to rest in Washington Square than in the California Adult Authority.'” /// The Atlanta version would involve i 285 and a waffle house. /// “The sound of the machine-gun fire startled the pigeons” /// There is a bit of speculation regarding the intelligence of Newt Gingrich. This should not be confused with the ability to do a job without screwing up. /// “Baudelaire laughed when the insane asylum rubbed itself up against his leg like a strange cat.” /// Felines are supposed to be good for keeping varmints away from tomato plants. Once the critters smell the cat smell, they stay away from the maters. /// “The thought of her hands touching his hair makes me want to vomit.” /// If you find this profile offensive, please report it to us and we will take appropriate action /// “He’d sell a rat’s asshole to a blindman for a wedding ring.” /// Dude, Calm Down, Its Gonna Be Fine, Go Drink Some Tasty Soup /// “I do not care to be esthetically tickled in a fancy theater surrounded by an audience drenched in the perfume of culture. I can’t afford it /// Winos used to get high by drinking after shave lotion. A popular brand was Lilac. /// “You have never met me because I have dreamt you. Soon it will be morning, the dream over.” /// When PG quit smoking pot, he noticed the technicolor dreams every night. The only problem is that he remembers almost none of them. If he wants to write a short story, he must depend on his experiences while awake. /// “Loading mercury with a pitchfork your truck is almost full. The neighbors take a certain pride in you. They stand around watching.” /// Whoever pays for this is not getting his money’s worth. /// “Little children yell, ‘Hey, hippie!’ at me in the San Francisco mornings” /// When PG was 17 and had long hair, he would take shortcuts home by the grammar school. The kids one day shouted hippie crit. Their teacher beamed with pride, at the lesson she had taught. /// “For all its frustration, I believe it was an interesting experiment in total loss” /// I WANT TO SMASH SOMETHING NICE!! Guitar? Too pretty… Computer? Too expensive.. Goddammit, where is a vase when I need it?! /// “I’m in a constant process of thinking about things.” /// PG only recently became aware of the connection between process and procedure. You can’t have one without the other. /// “With the stars like fire engines hanging in the air and streams of light coming from their hoses.” /// Firetruck has a similar spelling to the f word. They also cost more, and are more expensive to maintain. Dalmatians are another extra charge. /// “Sandbox minus John Dillinger equals what?” /// PG heard a legend about John Dillinger once. Supposedly, the man had a thirty two inch penis, which is on display at the Smithsonian Institute. Eight graders repeat stories like this, and believe them. /// “He had that same Spirit of St. Louis nobility and purpose of expression, except that his North Atlantic was the forests of Idaho.” /// And then his baby was kidnapped and murdered. Sixty years later, a terrorist confessed to the crime. /// “What you’re doing to me, I want done forever.” /// Dude, Calm Down, Its Gonna Be Fine, Go Drink Some Tasty Soup /// “I find intelligence in women to be an aphrodisiac. Everybody else would be looking at her breasts and I would be looking at her mind” /// When he orders a lobotomy for his wayward bride, he will ask for a d cup./// “Anybody can get VD, including those you love. Please see a doctor if you think you’ve got it. You’ll feel better afterwards” /// Vince Dooley was the coach for a few years. He had nothing to do with breeding the next UGA. /// “We should all make our clothes out of a special seaweed that grows along the California coast.” /// PG shared an apartment with three people, seven snakes, a ferret, and a cat. He called it the weasel palace. His human roommates did not appreciate this name. /// “The tedium approached a kind of blank religious experience” /// PG is not ashamed to admit that he is sometimes bored. /// “Sometimes all I want to do is have a little mindless fun with the years that are left in my life.” /// dougman91:Any real dads wit son wanna chat im me Nastydude_MI:hey all Fratboy0211:Nasty /// “There are so many better things for you than to see your feelings sold as magic lanterns to somebody whose body casts no light.” /// One of them is to package your feelings as a sixty watt light bulb. When they burn out, you just screw another bulb into the socket. This is a one person job, no matter what jokes you have heard. /// “Where I come from it’s just another carrot in the patch. Where do you come from, stranger?” /// Whats black and white, and goes up and down. A nun in a cucumber patch. Oh, this was about carrots, not cucumbers. My bad. /// “There are days when our cat becomes the doors and windows of the house. To go into the bedroom I must open a wooden cat” /// I’m a closet case satyriasis-just kidding! Well a little bit. Don’t know what it is? Ask me./// “Birds happen music / like clocks ticking heavens in a land where children love spiders, and let them sleep in their hair.” /// Spiders are resourceful, often beautiful, productive, and have a p.r. problem. /// “Someplace in the world a woman is sitting under a beautiful tree, and she is shelling peas, and she is thinking only of beautiful things” /// eating goober peas, eating goober peas, goodness how delicious, eating goober peas /// “He went UMMM-good, smacked his lips and rolled his eyes like the octopus ride in a cheap carnival.” /// oh those french fries soaked in grease, I asked her for pie and she gave me a piece /// “I love that dark bird you hold in your arms.” /// She was an adorable mother of two, living in a somewhat ramshackle house in Oakhurst. She had pygmy goats in her yard./// “These are just fragments. Parts of lines and single words that remain from the original poems written 1,000s of years ago.” /// PG bought a poster of Janis Joplin, with a nipple showing. His mother was upset, said I trusted you. In his shame, PG covered the cartoon nipple with a magic marker /// “Too many perhapses in the world and not enough people.” /// The special ed teacher was a lady named Dobbins. Her students were called Dobs. She was a big woman, whose arms were the size of many people’s legs. /// “Every horror in the world was at my back, at my sides and directly in front of me and they were all without names” /// Only confirmed followers have access to @daddy’s Tweets and complete profile. You need to send a request before you can start following this account. /// “Dreams are like the wind. They blow by. The small ones are breezes, but they go by, too.” /// Cause I’m troubled by dreams I’ never seen, down at the whipping post. /// ‘The Eskimos live among ice all their lives but have no single word for ice.’ /// I’ve been called an operator, I could sell an eskimo snow./// “She could invent whole lifetimes for herself and it was as if she had lived them in a kind of dreamy telescope way.” /// Galileo looked at the skies, and realized that what he had been told was lies. Sarah Palin looked at, and shot, a moose, and knew it was time to cut loose. /// “Two guys get out of a car. They stand beside it. They don’t know what else to do.” /// The policeman told them to get back in the car, and show me your driver’s license. /// “Trout Fishing in America Shorty stared after her as if the space between them were a river growing larger and larger.” /// Have you ever been afraid that insects would take over the world? Well, here come the stink bugs. /// “The sea is like an old nature poet who died of a heart attack in a public latrine. His ghost still haunts the urinals.”/// Peachtree Creek is the bass player who was shot to death by a jealous husband. His ghost still haunts the used cd store. /// “The silence of the snow in the mountains will be roaring in the creek by my house in a few days.” /// This has been a conversation with the ghost of Richard Brautigan. Pictures are from The Library of Congress. The video was borrowed from Live Apartment Fire.

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