Crushed PBR From Blondie

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on September 15, 2011

MG: Yes. Hey, did you know they use foreskins for replacing eyelids? JG: No they don’t. MG: Yeah, they do. JG: Come on, really? MG: You tend to look a bit cock-eyed, though. JG: I can’t believe I just walked into that one. MG: Me either. /// FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE: 1. Money cannot buy happiness but its more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle. 2. Forgive your enemy but remember the fuckers name. 3. Help someone when they are in trouble and they will remember you when they’re in trouble again. 4. Many people are alive only because its illegal to shoot them. 5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk /// Me, behave? As a child I saw Tarzan almost naked, Cinderella arrived home after midnight, Pinocchio told lies, Aladdin was a thief, Batman drove over 200 miles an hour, Snow White lived in a house w/7 men, Popeye smoked a pipe & had tattoos, Donald Duck didn’t wear pants, PacMan ran around 2 digital music while eating pills that enhanced his performance, & Shaggy & Scooby were mystery solving hippies that always had the munchies (420). No wonder I’m in a 12 Step Program! /// “What horrifies me most is the idea of being useless: well-educated, brilliantly promising, and fading out into an indifferent middle age – Sylvia Plath /// If I ever die in a tragic or horrific way, I want people to start making jokes about it immediately. Morbid, horrible jokes. It’s what I want, and if there is an afterlife then I will haunt the shit out of you for not doing that. The more offensive, the happier I would be. Remember this. /// “I have no interest in going back to anything. Not to make it better, and not to make myself feel better. My life is here and now. I will make things better here and now. I will rejoice in my life as I do so.” — Kennedy Shultz /// @almightygod: 10 years ago I was sitting on my throne, watching it all happen, doing nothing. /// Mad respect for today’s remembrances. But can we please get some unified condolence for all the innocent lives killed by American imperialism? /// “Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.” — Marilyn Monroe /// Pleasure to meet you yesterday. I’m continuing to pursue the dream of growing a moustache. /// I believe that injury was sustained during a clearance sale at Barney’s. I recognize that bitch and I TOLD HUH that last pair of Ferragamos had MY name on them. /// I had an uncomfortable lunch date with the model the summer after this campaign. He didn’t look as good as his profile pictures, which included this one. /// Dear friends, Please copy & paste this to your status if you are constantly being asked to copy & paste something to your status by friends who copy & paste things to their status. Many people won’t copy & paste this but my true friends will copy & paste it because you know this was copied & pasted from a dear friend in need of more crap to copy & paste. I’ll be watching to see who my true friends are!! /// Where is he Now? Down by the creek walking on water /// What exactly happens to us as a society in the next 4 years that leads to flying cars, hover boards, dustless paper, advanced de-aging treatments and simultaneously gives us shittier TV picture quality, sub par vector holograms, crappy cell phone/sunglasses headsets and gets us back to using fax machines in nearly every room of the house? I can only assume we discover cold fusion and, on the same day, a techno-organic virus wipes out at least half of all technology created after 1994. /// .I owe you my left testicle, infinite bucket of glitter, and my first born baby queerling. your hard, crazy work on ‘url’ stuff and continued dedication and support creates a better feeling than my orgasm in the alley behind that sketchy Memphis bar. /// Of course–it was a typo. Tell Facebook to allow us to edit! I didn’t have time to repost, /// “I’m not.” (yeh, it’s a real quotation from a real movie, can you guess which one?) /// “Attack life. It’s going to kill you anyway.” (Stephen Coallier) /// “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature.” (Helen Keller) /// Woman: What terrible weather we’re having. Oscar Wilde: Yes, but if it wasn’t for the snow, how could we believe in the immortality of the soul? Woman: What an interesting question, Mr. Wilde! But tell me exactly what you mean. Oscar Wilde: I haven’t the slightest idea. /// I thought I was knee-deep in horseshit, but it turns out we were making a killing in the fertilizer business.

It is often said that people call upon the gods when they have lost all hope, but, perhaps it is more apt to say we call upon them because we have hope– hope that they can see what we cannot, or merely hope that they will answer. /// Chapters that take this much energy to continue reading are all-ways worth their endings. /// “We who have come back, we know- the best of us did not return.” – Viktor Frankl, “Man’s Search for Meaning.” I highly recommend this book, written by a psychiatrist who experienced the Holocaust. I felt comforted that, even when life is harsh, it is still worthwhile. /// TV Culture is NOT teaching people how to communicate in a healthy way. I have seen more TV in the past few weeks here in NOLA than I have in years & am very disturbed /// If G-d Had a Wallet, there would be a picture of Tom Waits inside it. /// Oh, and by the way, every story can be told in 25 words or less. Don’t believe me? Check out this 25 word gem from a recent New York Times: In the years since 2001, neither our worst fear nor our highest hopes have been realized. But what passes for normal has exacted a price. /// Moby – who admits he has watched many adult movies in his lifetime – told Bizarre Magazine: “I’ve never understood why porn made for men often stars studly guys with enormous… you know? Surely that’s intimidating to most guys watching? My porn flick would exclusively feature men with normal-to-titchy-sized penises in order to make viewers feel better.” /// Religion is but a myth and superstition that hardens hearts and enslaves minds. ///Ok, you dream readers: Last night I dreamed that I was doing a photo essay of Sharon Osbourne preparing large platters of hand made green farfalle in an olive oil, butter and garlic sauce and then hand feeding them to her dogs. /// You’re working with a brain, trying to find a suitable corpse in which to insert it, and suddenly the brain develops telepathic powers and starts communicating with your failed experiments. I hate it when that happens. /// 7H15 M355463 53RV35 70 PR0V3 H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4N D0 4M4Z1N6 7H1N65! 1MPR3551V3 7H1N65! 1N 7H3 B361NN1NG 17 W45 H4RD BU7 N0W, 0N 7H15 L1N3 Y0UR M1ND 15 R34D1N6 17 4U70M471C411Y W17H 0UT 3V3N 7H1NK1N6 4B0U7 17, B3 PR0UD! 0N1Y C34R741N P30PL3 C4N R34D 7H15. R3 P057 1F U C4N. /// “It is not human to be wise. It is much more human to err, though perhaps exceptional to err on the side of mercy. We shall be exceptional.” /// You are teaching intolerance and hate. It is your right to vocalize it, but it is still hateful and intolerant. /// Forgot to mention that I made a stop by the Clairmont Lounge last night after work and some how I ended up with a crushed PBR from Blondie. /// There is just NO good Cuban food on the Upper East Side. Sad fact. None in Denver/Boulder either. That’s how you can make your milliions? /// I am in touch with Reality, you obviously dont know! No one said not EVEN ME I’m special, you just feel threatened, offended, ticked off, bothered, and compelled to TRY to attack me! But it’s OK I’m also aware of such. I dont brag about myself, its def. not my style I Only Brag when another human Being forces me to. I’m Glad You read the Truth, and I managed to give you the Chuckles along the way! PEACE /// Jeremy decided to leave the necktie at home and go as his true self. No more dashing into phone booths to change costumes! /// Thanks for taking the time to debate this, I actually really feel strongly about it and really like studying extra on this subject. If attainable, as you acquire expertise, would you mind updating your blog with additional info? It can be extremely useful for me. /// APPLE CHALLAH COVERED IN GOAT CHEESE. I HAVE MADE IT. I WILL EAT IT. Why? Because carbs will make me sexy. /// Class, your vocabulary word of the day is “jank” /// What’s in the oven, Phillip? Why, it’s two loaves of vegan apple challah! Vegan apple challah! I didn’t know you were a vegan, Phillip! I am not, but I ran out of eggs, so I substituted flax seed and applesauce. Accidental veganity still counts, though. /// Having a meltdown every now and then is amazing for the pores. /// This is only seen by friends with Facebook’s new security choices. In the slim chance that any dishonest folks do read this, I’m the only one in this household going. At-home-all-day next-door neighbors and other security will be TIGHT. Plus there’s the “ferocious” guard dog. /// Easy writing makes tough reading /// Selah

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