F Through I Laws
Here is part three of state laws that some might find peculiar. Part one and part two were put up a few weeks ago. Today will will look at Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, and Iowa. These regulations are borrowed from Bored. // Florida // Apparently with an exaggerated idea of the laws of thermal dynamics, the city council of West Palm Beach, Fla., once decreed that the roofs of all outhouses be fireproof. // A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing. // Big Pine Key: It is illegal to molest a Key deer; If caught one will be fined or will have to go to jail. // Cape Coral: It is against the city ordinance to hang your clothes outside on a clothesline; It it illegal to park a pick-up truck in your driveway or in front of your house on the street (This law is limited to only those who do not own the house) // Daytona Beach: The molestation of trash cans is banned; While intoxicated, being under influence of narcotics is prohibited; It shall be unlawful for any person to swim or bathe in that portion of the Atlantic Ocean within the corporate limits of the city when under the influence of intoxicating liquor or narcotic drugs to the extent that his or her normal faculties are impaired; // Don’t plan on using any of the celebratory Champagne bottle sizes known as Methuselahs, Salamanazars, Balthazars or Nebuchadnezzars. These very traditional Champagne bottle sizes are all illegal in Florida. // Florida deals with its prostitution problem by giving prostitutes spending money, a five-year banishment, and a bus ticket out of town. // Florida law forbids rats to leave the ships docked in Tampa Bay. // Florida prohibits topless walking or running within a 150 foot zone between the beach and the street. // Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal. // Hialeah: Ambling and strolling is a misdemeanor. // If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle. // In Florida failure to tell your neighbor his house is on fire is illegal. // In Florida it is illegal to fish while driving across a bridge. // In Florida, a special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing. // In Florida, men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown. // In Florida, unmarried women who parachute on Sundays may be jailed. // In Miami, it is forbidden to imitate an animal. // Miami Shores Village, Fla., has for years required that all goods made in Communist countries and offered for sale in Miami Shores Village be clearly marked as such. The ordinance notes that such goods are often marked in a “false, misleading or inadequate manner, to hide their Communist origins.” // In Sarasota it is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit. // It is considered an offense to shower naked. // It is illegal to block any traveled wagon road. // It is illegal to fart in a public place after 6:00pm on a Thursday. // It is illegal to skateboard without a license. // It’s against a Key West, Fla., ordinance to spit on a church floor. // It’s illegal in Florida for an unmarried man and woman to live together in “open and gross lewdness.” Connecticut once had a similar law, but only the woman was penalized. // Key West: Chickens are considered a ‘protected species’. // Oral sex is illegal. // Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging. // Pensacola: Citizens may not be caught downtown without at least 10 dollars on their person; It is illegal to roll a barrel on any street, fines go up according to the contents of the barrel; A women can be fined (only after death), for being electrocuted in a bath-tub because of using self-beautification utensils. // Pinecrest: In order to operate a burglar alarm, a permit must be obtained. // Sanford Stage: Nudity is banned, with the exception of “bona fide” theatrical performances. Violating this ordinance results in a $100 fine. // Sarasota: If you hit a pedestrian you are fined $78.00; You may not catch crabs. // Tampa Bay: It is illegal to eat cottage cheese on Sunday after 6:00 P.M. // Under a 1959 ordinance, stubborn children were considered vagrants in Jupiter Inlet Colony, Fla. // When having sex, only the missionary position is legal. // Women can be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer. The salon owner can also be fined for this horrible crime. // You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers. // You may not kiss your wife’s breasts. // Georgia // Acworth: All citizens must own a rake. // An old law in Columbus, Ga., made it illegal to sit on your porch in an indecent position. // A Kennesaw, Ga. law makes it illegal for every homeowner not to own a gun, unless you are a convicted felon, conscientious objector or disabled. // Against the law to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp. // Columbus: Can’t cut off a chicken’s head on Sunday; It is illegal to carry a chicken by it’s feet down Broadway on Sunday. // Donkeys may not be kept in bathtubs. // Gainesville: Chicken must be eaten with the hands. // Georgia has 75 laws on how to build rice paddies, even though the state has only one rice farm left. Rice was the state’s No. 1 crop before the Civil War. But right after the war, a hurricane destroyed all the paddies and ponds. It was too expensive to replace them without slaves, so the Rice State began growing peaches, peanuts and other crops. // Georgia officials were revising their state laws in 1981, and noticed they still allowed pensions for Confederate widows. That week the last widow died. Lawmakers bowed their heads, and deleted the law. // In Georgia, movie houses that want to show films on Sunday must reserve one showing a month for religious material. // It is illegal in Georgia to use profanity in the presence of a corpse. // In Quitman, It is illegal for a chicken to cross the road. // It is illegal to change the clothes on a storefront mannequin unless the shades are down. // It is illegal to say “Oh, Boy” in Jonesboro. // It is illegal to take a bath of orange peel. // Marietta: Though it is illegal to spit from a car or bus, citizens may spit from a truck. // Members of the state assembly cannot be ticketed for speeding while the state assembly is in session. // No one may carry an ice cream cone in their back pocket if it is Sunday. // One man may not be on another man’s back. // Signs are required to be written in English. // Hawaii // All residents may be fined as a result of not owning a boat. // Coins are not allowed to be placed in one’s ears. // Honolulu: Within the limits of any public park, it is unlawful to annoy any bird. // In Hawaii it is illegal to get a tattoo behind your ear or on your eyelid unless in the presence of a registered physician. // It used to be the law in Hawaii that children had to obey all “lawful and moral” commands of their parents. // It’s illegal for a shooting gallery to offer liquor as a prize. The shooter might want to come back after drinking the prize and try again. // Idaho // Boise: Residents may not fish from a giraffe’s back. // Coeur d’ Alene: If a police officer approaches a vehicle and suspects that the occupants are engaging in sex, he must either honk, or flash his lights and wait for three minutes before approaching the car. // Idaho Falls, Idaho: If you’re 88 years of age or older, it’s illegal for you to ride your motorcycle. // Idaho state law makes it illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds. // Idaho and other states allow members of the Native American church to use the hallucinogenic plant peyote in religious services. // In Idaho walking along the street with a red-tipped cane is strictly prohibited. // In Pocatello, Idaho, a law passed in 1912 provided that “The carrying of concealed weapons is forbidden, unless same are exhibited to public view.” // Non-married couples in Idaho who engage in sexual intercourse can be jailed for up to six months // Riding a merry-go-round on Sundays is considered a crime.
Illinois // “Dwarf-tossing,” the strange practice of hurling dwarfs in padded suits, is outlawed in the bars of Springfield, Ill., because it’s dangerous and exploitative. The practice is apparently allowed elsewhere in town, with a special permit. // A state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors should be called master, not mister, when addressed by their female counterparts. // According to state law, it is illegal to speak English. The officially recognized language is “American”. // Champaign: One may not pee in his neighbor’s mouth. // Chicago: Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire; It is illegal to give a dog whiskey; Kites may not be flown within the city limits; Spitting is forbidden // Cicero: Humming on public streets is prohibited on Sundays // Crete: It is considered an offense to attempt to have sex with one’s dog; Cars may not be driven through the town. // Des Plaines: Wheelbarrows with For-Sale signs may not be chained to trees. // Eureka: A man with a moustache may not kiss a woman. // Evanston: Bowling is forbidden; It is illegal to go trick-or-treating on Halloween; It is unlawful to change clothes in an automobile with the curtains drawn, except in case of fire. // Fairfield: It is unlawful for “Negroes” to be within county boundaries from sundown to sunrise. // Freeport: It is illegal to expectorate from any second-story window. // Galesburg: There is a $1,000 dollar fine for beating rats with baseball bats. // Homer: It is against the law to use a slingshot unless your are a law enforcement officer. // If the Rushville, Ill., city council doesn’t have a quorum, those sent can have the cops go out and arrest absent members and bring them to the meeting. // In Illinois it is illegal for barbers to use their fingers to apply shaving cream to a customer’s face. // In Illinois, it is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animal kept as pets. // In Chicago it is also illegal to take a French poodle to the opera, and for women over 200 pounds (90 kilos) to ride horses in shorts. // In Chicago, Illinois, it is illegal to fish in pajamas. // In Chicago, people who are diseased, maimed, mutilated, or “otherwise an unsightly or disgusting object” are banned from going out in public. // In Minoola, Ill., it’s illegal to take your clothes off and “expose the naked // In Oblong, Illinois, it’s punishable by law to make love while hunting or fishing on your wedding day. // In Zion, Ill., it is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animals kept as pets. // It is against the law for a monster to enter the corporate limits of Urbana, Illinois. // It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animal kept as pets. // It is illegal to give a dog whiskey. // It is legal to protest naked in front of city hall as long as you are under seventeen years of age and have legal permits. // It’s not clear what this has done to the bar business, but a law in Chicago, Ill., makes it illegal to serve liquor to the feeble-minded. // Joliet: Town fathers, reflecting the pet peeve of hearing their town’s name mispronounced ‘Jolly-ETTE’ when all local folk know it’s pronounced ‘Joe-lee-ETTE’, made pronouncing it Jolly-ette a misdemeanor, punishable by a $5 fine. // Kenilworth: A rooster must step back three hundred feet from any residence if he wishes to crow; Hens that wish to cackle must step two hundred feet back from any residence. // Kirkland: Bees are not allowed to fly over the village or through any of Kirkland’s streets. // Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire. // Moline: Ice skating at the Riverside pond during the months of June and August is prohibited; There is a ban on unnecessary repetitive driving on 23rd Avenue. // Morton Grove: You may not own a handgun // Normal: It is against the law to make faces at dogs. // Orland Park: No pool tables are allowed in a public establishment, because it supports gambling. // Ottawa: Spitting on the sidewalk is a criminal offense. // Park Ridge: Trucks may only park inside closed garages // Peoria: Basketball hoops may not be installed on a driveway. // Pullman: It is illegal to drink beer out of a bucket while sitting on the curb; It is forbidden to fish while sitting on a giraffe’s neck; It is legal to protest naked in front of city hall as long as you are under seventeen years of age and have legal permits. // The English language is not to be spoken. // The people in Manteno, Ill., do not want used facial tissue, period. Hence, you cannot “throw, drop or place” a used hankie “upon any public way or public place or upon the floor of any convenience or upon the floor of any theater, hall or assembly or public building or upon the surface or any lot or parcel of ground or on the roof on any building or in any light or air shaft, court or areaway.” // Under a 1872 law still on the books, an alderman in Chicago can carry a gun. Some do. // You may be arrested for vagrancy if you do not have at least one dollar bill on your person. // You may be convicted of a Class 4 felony offense, punishable by up to three years in state prison, for the crime of “eavesdropping” on your own conversation. // You must contact the police before entering the city in an automobile. // Zion: It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, or any other domesticated animals.// Indiana // “Spiteful Gossip” and “talking behind a person’s back” are illegal. // A man over the age of 18 may be arrested for statutory rape if the passenger in his car is not wearing her socks and shoes, and is under the age of 17. // A person who dyes, stains, or otherwise alters the natural coloring of a bird or rabbit commits a Class B misdemeanor. (Ind. Code 15-2.1-21-13(b) // A sports agent is supposed to give a college 10 days notice before luring a star athlete into the professional ranks. // A three dollar fine per pack will be imposed on anyone playing cards in Indiana under the Act for the Prevention of Gaming. // All males 18 to 50 years old must work six days a year on public roads. // Anyone 14 or older who profanely curses, damns or swears by the name of God, Jesus Christ or the Holy Ghost, shall be fined one to three dollars for each offense, with a maximum fine of ten dollars per day. // Auburn: It is illegal to bike, roller-skate, skateboard, or inline skate in a commercially zoned area. For these offenses, there is a fine of no more than $5 or the impounding of one’s bicycle for a period not to exceed 30 days. // Back in 1924, a monkey was convicted in South Bend of the crime of smoking a cigarette and sentenced to pay a 25 dollar fine and the trial costs. // Bathing is prohibited during the winter. // Beech Grove: It is forbidden to eat watermelon in the park. // Check forgery can be punished with public flogging up to 100 stripes. // Drinking from your own bottle in a bar can lead to your arrest. // Drinks on the house are illegal. // Due to a typographical error, a routine ordinance in Shelbyville, Ind., about charging for bad checks started out: “Whereas, the city of Shelbyville through its various governmental fascists receives numerous checks…” This was changed to “governmental facets.” // Elkhart: It is illegal for barbers to threaten to cut off kid’s ears. // Evansville: While driving on Main Street you may not have your lights on. // Gary: Within four hours of eating garlic, a person may not enter a movie house, theater, or ride a public streetcar. // Grocery stores may not sell any type of cold liquor. // Hotel sheets must be exactly 99 inches long and 81 inches wide. // If any person has a puppet show, wire dancing or tumbling act in the state of Indiana and receives money for it, they will be fined $3 under the Act to Prevent Certain Immoral Practices. // In Indiana it is illegal to sell laughing gas with the intent to induce laughter. // In South Bend, Indiana, it is illegal to make a monkey smoke a cigarette. // It is against the law to pass a horse on the street. // It is illegal in Elkhart, Indiana, for a barber to threaten to cut off a youngster’s ears. // It is illegal for a liquor store to sell cold soft drinks. // It is illegal for a man to be sexually aroused in public. // It is illegal for barbers to threaten to cut off kid’s ears. // It is illegal to sell cars on Sunday. // Liquor stores may not sell milk. // Men are prohibited from standing in a bar. // Monkeys are forbidden to smoke cigarettes in South Bend. // Mustaches are illegal if the bearer has a tendency to habitually kiss other humans. // No one may catch a fish with his bare hands. // One man may not back into a parking spot because it prevents police officers from seeing the license plate. // Oral sex is illegal. // Pedestrians crossing the highway at night are prohibited from wearing tail lights. // Smoking in the state legislature building is banned, except when the legislature is in session. // State government officials who engage in private duels can be dismissed from their post. // Taxpayers of Bainbridge, Ind., used to have to swear a solemn oath that the values they placed on their taxable property were the fair market values. // Terre Haute: No one may spit on the sidewalk. // The value of Pi is 4, and not 3.1415. // You are not allowed to carry a cocktail from the bar to a table; the waiter or waitress has to do it. // You are required to pour your drink into a glass. // You can get out of paying for a dependent’s medical care by praying for him/her.// Iowa // A man with a moustache may never kiss a woman in public. // An owner or employee of an establishment in Iowa that sells alcohol can’t legally consume a drink there after closing for business. // Don’t plan on running a “tab” in Iowa; it’s illegal. // Horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants in Marshalltown, Iowa. // If a law enforcement officer is having a drink in a bar in Iowa and an employee pours water down the drain, the water is legally considered an alcohol beverage intended for unlawful purposes. // In Dubuque any hotel in the city limits must have a water bucket and a hitching post in front of the building. // In Fort Madison the fire department is required to practice fire fighting for fifteen minutes before attending a fire. // In Ottumwa, Iowa, “It is unlawful for any male person, within the corporate limits of the (city), to wink at any female person with whom he is unaquainted.” // Indianola: The “Ice Cream Man” and his truck are banned. // It is a violation of the law to sell or distribute drugs or narcotics without having first obtained the appropriate Iowa drug tax stamp. // It is illegal to hunt from an aircraft. // It is illegal to accept a gratuity or tip in Iowa. // Kisses may last for as much as, but no more than, five minutes. // One-armed piano players must perform for free. // Riverboat gamblers in Iowa have a $5 maximum bet. // The Iowa Legislature once passed a resolution ordering the state cafeteria to start serving cornbread. // Warn your hubby that after lovemaking in Ames, Iowa, he isn’t allowed to take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with you — or holding you in his arms. // You may shoot Native Americans if there are more than five of them on your property at any one time.