Unfortunate Laws Part Eight

Posted in Undogegorized by chamblee54 on May 15, 2012

Here is part eight of state laws that some might find peculiar. Parts one, two, three, four, five, six, and seven precede this feature. Today will will look at Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Vermont, and Virginia. These regulations are borrowed from Bored. Tennessee ~ “Crimes against nature” are prohibited. ~ Any person crippling, killing or in any way destroying a proud bitch that is running at large shall not be held liable for the damages due to such killing or destruction. ~ Driving is not to be done while asleep. ~ Dyersburg: It is illegal for a woman to call a man for a date. ~ Fayette County: You may not have more than five inoperable vehicles on a piece of property. ~ Giving and receiving oral sex is still prohibited by law. ~ Hollow logs may not be sold. ~ In Jonesboro, Tenn., a slingshot used to be classified by law as a deadly weapon. ~ It is illegal to catch a fish with a lasso. ~ It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish. ~ It is legal to gather and consume road kill ~ It’s illegal for frogs to croak after 11 PM. ~ Knoxville: In front of their buildings, all businesses must have a “hitching post.” ~ Lenoir City: When you pull up to a stop sign you must fire a gun out the window to warn horse carriages that you are coming. ~ Lexington: No one may eat ice cream on the sidewalk. Spitting on the sidewalk is prohibited. ~ Memphis: Illegal for a woman to drive a car unless there is a man either running or walking in front of it waving a red flag to warn approaching motorists and pedestrians. It’s illegal for frogs to croak after 11 PM. Panhandlers must first obtain a $10 permit before begging on the streets of downtown Memphis. It is illegal to give any pie to fellow diners. It is also illegal to take unfinished pie home. All pie must be eaten on the premises. ~ More than 8 women may not live in the same house because that would constitute a brothel. ~ Nashville: Males may not be sexually aroused in public. ~ Stealing a horse is punishable by hanging. ~ The age of consent is 16, but 12 if the girl is a virgin. ~ You can’t shoot any game other than whales from a moving automobile. ~ Oneida: An ordinance forbids anyone to sing the song “It Ain’t Goin’ To Rain No Mo’.” Texas ~ A city ordinance states that a person cannot go barefoot without first obtaining a special five-dollar permit. ~ Abilene: It is illegal to idle or loiter anyplace within the corporate limits of the city for the purpose of flirting or mashing. ~ Austin: Wire cutters can not be carried in your pocket. ~ Beaumont: Collegiate football is banned at Lamar University. ~ Borger: It is against the law to throw confetti, rubber balls, feather dusters, whips or quirts (riding crop), and explosive firecrackers of any kind. ~ Clarendon: It is illegal to dust any public building with a feather duster. ~ El Paso: Churches, hotels, halls of assembly, stores, markets, banking rooms, railroad depots, and saloons are required to provide spittoons “of a kind and number to efficiently contain expectorations into them.” ~ Galveston: It is illegal to drive a motor car down Broadway before noon on Sundays. ~ Houston: Beer may not be purchased after midnight on a Sunday, but it may be purchased on Monday. It is illegal to sell Limburger cheese on Sunday. ~ If two trains going in opposite directions on the same track meet each other, one can’t move until the other does. ~ If you went to church in Texas years back, you’d better be recognized. An old law made it illegal to go to church in disguise. ~ In Alamo a person found intoxicated must be given a large dose of castor oil by a local doctor…and failure to gulp it down will result in a fine. ~ In Corpus Christie it is illegal to raise alligators in your home. ~ In Dallas County it is illegal to own any realistic looking, phallic shaped, personal massager more than one foot in length. ~ In Houston you cannot buy beer after midnight on Sunday, but you can buy it on Monday. ~ In Kingsville, there is a law against two pigs having sex on the city’s airport property. ~ In Lefors, Texas it is illegal to take more than three swallows of beer at any time while standing. ~ In Mesquite, Texas it is illegal for kids to have unusual haircuts. ~ In Texas criminals are required to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed. ~ In Texas it’s legal for a chicken to have sex with you, but it’s illegal to reciprocate. ~ It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel. ~ It is illegal to drive without windshield wipers. You don’t need a windshield, but you must have the wipers. ~ It is illegal to have an open container in a car. ~ It is illegal to have anything protruding from your bumper unless it is attached with a chain ~ It is illegal to milk another person’s cow. ~ It is illegal to urinate on the Alamo. ~ It is legal for a husband to beat his wife as long as he uses something no bigger than his thumb. ~ It is legal for the blind to go hunting as long as they have someone with them who isn’t blind. ~ It is legal to commit a homicide as long as you tell the person when, and how you are going to kill them. ~ In San Antonio, Texas, you can’t honk a horn, run a generator, have a revival meeting or do anything else that disturbs the neighborhood and the city has a four-member noise police squad to enforce the law. ~ In Texas any artificial constructed underwater barrier reefs must come with an instruction booklet. ~ In Texas, sixteen-year old divorced girls are prohibited from talking about sex during high school extracurricular activities. ~ It is unlawful for a person to consume an alcoholic beverage while operating a motor vehicle upon a public roadway, if the person is observed doing so by a peace officer. ~ Jasper: Dogs must be on a leash at ALL times. Fine of 100 dollars. ~ Lubbock County: It is illegal to drive within an arm’s length of alcohol – including alcohol in someone else’s blood stream. ~ Port Arthur: Obnoxious odors may not be emitted while in an elevator. ~ Richardson: It is now illegal to place a “for sale” sign on a car if it visible from the street. It is illegal to do “U Turns”. ~ San Antonio: It is illegal for both sexes to flirt or respond to flirtation using the eyes and/or hands. ~ Temple: No one may ride a horse and buggy through the town square. You can ride your horse in the saloon. Cattle thieves may be hanged on the spot. ~ Texarkana: Owners of horses may not ride them at night without tail lights. ~ The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home. ~ There is an old law in Texas that states you are unable to tuck your pants into one boot unless you own ten or more cattle. ~ You can be legally married by publicly introducing a person as your husband or wife 3 times. Utah ~ A husband is responsible for every criminal act committed by his wife while she is in his presence. ~ A Utah legislator proposed a resolution urging that each TV weather person be required to provide an ice cream cone to every member of the state House of Representatives whenever the forecast was wrong. The resolution failed, perhaps on First Amendment grounds. In addition to normal charges, the woman’s name will be published in the local newspaper.The man does not receive any punishment. ~ Birds have the right of way on all highways. ~ In Monroe, daylight must be visible between partners on a dance floor. ~ In Utah when a person reaches the age of 50, he/she can then marry their cousin. ~ It is against the law to fish from horseback. ~ It is considered an offense to hunt whales. ~ It is illegal not to drink milk. ~ It is illegal to detonate any nuclear weapon. You can have them, but you just can’t detonate them. ~ It’s legal for restaurants to serve wine with meals, but only if you ask for the wine list. ~ Kaysville: You must have identification to enter a convenience store after dark. ~ Logan: Women may not swear. ~ No woman may have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance within the boundaries of Tremonton, Utah. If caught, the woman can be charged with a sexual misdemeanor and “her name is to be published in the local newspaper.” The man isn’t charged nor is his name revealed. ~ Provo: Throwing snowballs will result in a $50 fine. ~ Salt Lake City: No one may walk down the street carrying a paper bag containing a violin. ~ The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms (BAFT) bans the word “refreshing” to describe any alcohol beverage. ~ Trout Creek: Pharmacists may not sell gunpowder to cure headaches. ~ You’re not allowed to sell beverages containing more than 3.2% alcohol. Vermont ~ As in most dairy states, Vermont does what it can to discourage the use of margarine. For example, it’s illegal to use colored margarine in restaurants unless the menu indicates you do–in letters two inches high. Colored margarine can only be served in triangle shaped patties. ~ At one time it was illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole. ~ Barre All residents shall bathe every Saturday night. ~ Call a Vermont court a “kangaroo court” or some similar moniker, and you might be looking at a $200 fine. It is illegal to defame a court. ~ In Vermont It’s against the law (not to mention impossible) to whistle under water. ~ In Vermont it is illegal to paint landscapes in times of war. ~ In Vermont, women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth. ~ It is illegal to deny the existence of G-d ~ It’s against the law in Vermont for vagrants to procure food by force. Apparently if you have a good job and stable home life, it’s O.K. to procure food by force. Virginia ~ An old Virginia law was titled, “An Act to Prevent Corrupt Practices or Bribery by Any Person Other Than a Candidate.” ~ As in many towns, you need a permit to run a barbershop in Christiansburg, Va. But the wording of the town’s law indicates that the permit will be revoked if you’re caught operating without a permit. ~ A Virginia law requires all bathtubs to be kept out in the yards, not inside the houses. ~ Children are not to go trick-or-treating on Halloween. ~ Citizens must honk their horn while passing other cars. ~ Culpeper: No one may wash a mule on the sidewalk. ~ Dayton: A person of color may not be outside or within the city limits after 7 pm. ~ Driving while not wearing shoes is prohibited. ~ If one is not married, it is illegal for him to have sexual relations. ~ If you are intoxicated but not driving your car, but the person who is driving your car is intoxicated, both you and the driver can be charged with DUI in Virginia Beach, Virginia. ~ In Christiansburg, Va., it’s illegal to imitate a police whistle. ~ In Christiansburg, Va., it’s illegal to “spit, expectorate or deposit any sputum, saliva or any form of saliva or sputum.” ~ In Newport it’s against the law to tickle a girl under her chin with a feather duster in order to get her attention. ~ In Norfolk a woman can’t go out without wearing a corset. ~ In Radford, VA you are not allowed to spit, loogie, puke or urinate on the streets. ~ In Richmond, Va., you must buy a license for 93 cents to sell song books on the street. ~ In Richmond, Virginia it is illegal to flip a coin in any eating establishment to determine who buys a cup of coffee. ~ It is illegal to sell peanut brittle on Sundays. ~ It is illegal to spit on sidewalk. ~ Lebanon: It is illegal to kick your wife out of bed. ~ Norfolk: Spitting on a sea gull is not tolerated. A man may face 60 days in jail for patting a woman’s derriere. Women must wear a corset after sundown and be in the company of male chaperone. ~ Not only is it illegal to have sex with the lights on, one may not have sex in any position other than missionary. ~ Perhaps anticipating telemarketing, the town fathers of Albany, Va., have for years prohibited peddlers from using the telephone to either sell things or raise funds. ~ Police radar detectors are illegal. ~ Stafford County: It is legal for a man to beat his wife on the courthouse steps so long as it is before 8:00 pm. ~ Swearing at someone over the phone in virginia is punishable by a $100 fine. ~ There is a state law prohibiting “corrupt practices of bribery by any person other than candidates.” ~ There was once a law in Salem Virginia that made it illegal to leave home without knowing where you were going. ~ Victoria: It is illegal to skate down the sidewalk of Main Street. ~ Waynesboro: It is illegal for a woman to drive a car up Main Street unless her husband is walking in front of the car waving a red flag. ~ You cannot buy hardware of any kind on Sunday. ~ You cannot sell lettuce on Sunday, but you can sell beer, wine etc. ~ You may not have oral or anal sex. ~ You may not work on Sunday.

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  1. […] of state laws that some might find peculiar. Parts one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, and eight precede this feature. Today will will look at Washington, West Virginia, Wisconsin, and Wyoming. […]

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