The Humpty Dumpty Conspiracy

Posted in Book Reports by chamblee54 on May 23, 2012

The post above this is Who Pushed Humpty Dumpty?. If you look at the URL, you will see a -2 after the title. This means that there has been another post at Chamblee54 with this conspiracy oriented title. A trip to google city shows that PG is not the only person to have pondered this issue.
A book, Who Pushed Humpty Dumpty?, gets prominent placement. You get what you pay for.
“It looked like a horrible accident, but upon further investigation, it turned out to be an even more horrible crime. Local businessman Humpty Dumpty was indeed dead of a fall from his wall. With the assistance of Officer’s O’Ham, Bacon and McSwiney (The 3 Little Pigs) and Officer Jack (The one with a beanstalk in his yard), Storybookland Police detectives Sgt. Joe Bundy and Rookie detective Bill Gimble have their work cut out for them. The suspects include The Big Bad Wolf (Storybookland’s Crime Boss), Jack and Jill (who were suing Mr. Dumpty for their fall), Wee Willie Winkie, The Spider (of Little Miss Muffet fame), The Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe… not to mention Mrs. Dumpty, herself. Who Pushed Humpty Dumpty?”
There is another book, Who Pushed Humpty Dumpty? :
“Break-in at the Three Bears family home? It could only be one dame. Wicked witch gone missing from her candied cottage? Hansel and Gretel claim it was self-defense. Did Humpty Dumpty really just fall off that wall, or was he pushed? Here are five fairy-tale stories with a twist, all told from the point of view of a streetwise police officer called Binky, who just happens to be a toad in a suit and a fedora. When Snow White doesn’t make it to the beauty pageant, Officer Binky is the first to find the apple core lying by her bed. When an awful giant mysteriously crashes to the ground, upsetting the whole town, Binky discovers exactly who is responsible. Author David Levinthal and illustrator John Nickle retell these classic stories in the style of a 1940s noir detective novel—for kids! “
Before we get much further in this murky mystery, lets take a look at the original.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall; Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the King’s horses And all the King’s men
Couldn’t put Humpty together again!
Humpty Dumpty Sentado en un muro.
Humpty Dumpty Se ha caído muy duro.
Todos los caballeros Y jinetes del rey,
Fueron a levantarlo Y no pudieron con él.

HD is typically thought of as being a giant egg. It is not known why it was sitting on a wall. Eggs usually lay on their side, unless they are sitting in an egg holder. The gender of this giant egg is unknown. Why was a team of horses expected to reassemble a broken egg ?
A character named Humpty Dumpty appears in Through the Looking-Glass by Lewis Carroll. He has a conversation with Alice, which implies that it is a different HD. Alice is a suspect in the content distribution of HD.
The Chicago Sun-Times published an essay in 2011, The men who pushed Humpty Dumpty. It turned out to be an appreciation of the movie “All The President’s Men”. There was a phrase in that movie, “follow the money”, which might prove helpful in solving this mystery. Maybe the question should be, who paid to have HD pushed off the wall? Maybe a real estate agent was having a tough time selling the property. Who would want to buy a house, with a giant egg sitting on a wall? It might have been a prudent business decision.
The HD metaphor has been used many times. Foreign Policy published a feature, Humpty Dumpty Was Pushed (The Sun-Times essay was published September 16, 2011. The Foriegn Policy article was published September 20, 2011.) The FP article was about Palestine. Newt Gingrich was quoted recently as saying that the Palestinean people do not exist. Perhaps Mr. Gingrich should be considered a suspect in the HD case.

“In his commentary anticipating a Palestinian initiative to promote statehood at the United Nations, Aaron David Miller chooses to focus almost exclusively upon the realities of Palestinian political and demographic fragmentation. But rather than providing an explanation of how these divisions have come about, or recommending means to overcome them, Miller instead suggests that on their account Palestinians remain unworthy of freedom.
“The fact of the matter is that Humpty Abu Dumpty did not accidentally fall off a wall; he was purposefully shoved off the edge of a cliff, beaten to a pulp, and then bombed to smithereens. As for the king’s men, as Miller well knows, they made no effort to put him back together again, instead providing the gang responsible  a steady supply of crack and endless rounds of ecstatic applause.”

Four years ago, someone at Yahoo answers had too much free time. There was a post, Did humpty dumpty fall of that wall or was he pushed??? The issue of who offed HD remains a mystery. Some of the answers in this forum try to “explain” the legend of HD. Some fundamentalist Christians will tell you that things are to be taken literally, and that scholarly interpretation is the work of the devil. In spite of these nay sayers, some of the reader supplied answers make sense.

“I’m not sure if this is true but someone once told me that humpty dumpty is about a woman losing her virginity. “Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.” is a woman who is a virgin. (high up in society) “Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.” Is about a woman losing it. “All the king’s horses and all the king’s men Couldn’t put Humpty together again ” once you lose it it’s gone, your never be looked at the same again in society.”
“Actually there is real history behind what we call nursery rhymes. Yes I know I’m cutting and pasting, but here is Humpty Dumpty’s: Humpty Dumpty was a colloquial term used in fifteenth century England describing someone who was obese. This has given rise to various, but inaccurate, theories surrounding the identity of Humpty Dumpty. The image of Humpty Dumpty was made famous by the illustrations included in the ‘Alice through the looking glass’ novel by Lewis Carroll. However, Humpty Dumpty was not a person pilloried in the famous rhyme!
Humpty Dumpty was in fact believed to be a large cannon! It was used during the English Civil War ( 1642 – 1649) in the Siege of Colchester (13 Jun 1648 – 27 Aug 1648). Colchester was strongly fortified by the Royalists and was laid to siege by the Parliamentarians (Roundheads). In 1648 the town of Colchester was a walled town with a castle and several churches and was protected by the city wall. Standing immediately adjacent the city wall, was St Mary’s Church. A huge cannon, colloquially called Humpty Dumpty, was strategically placed on the wall next to St Mary’s Church. The historical events detailing the siege of Colchester are well documented – references to the cannon ( Humpty Dumpty) are as follows:
June 15th 1648 – St Mary’s Church is fortified and a large cannon is placed on the roof which was fired by ‘One-Eyed Jack Thompson’. July 14th / July 15th 1648 – The Royalist fort within the walls at St Mary’s church is blown to pieces and their main cannon battery ( Humpty Dumpty) is destroyed. August 28th 1648 – The Royalists lay down their arms, open the gates of Colchester and surrender to the Parliamentarians
A shot from a Parliamentary cannon succeeded in damaging the wall beneath Humpty Dumpty which caused the cannon to tumble to the ground. The Royalists, or Cavaliers, ‘all the King’s men’ attempted to raise Humpty Dumpty on to another part of the wall. However, because the cannon , or Humpty Dumpty, was so heavy ‘ All the King’s horses and all the King’s men couldn’t put Humpty together again!’ This had a drastic consequence for the Royalists as the strategically important town of Colchester fell to the Parliamentarians after a siege lasting eleven weeks.”

Pictures are from ” Special Collections and Archives,Georgia State University Library”.

3 Responses

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  1. This is an edited repost. […]

  2. Neo said, on December 7, 2017 at 2:07 pm

    Humpty was definitely pushed by secret organizations who profit off unbalance such as war. Humpty symbolizes state of balance. When the world is in a state of balance or harmony there is very little profits to be made. Therefore these profiteers constantly work to push it out of balance. These kings and their men have been doing it so long and things have gotten so bad that even if they wanted to bring humanity back together they couldn’t.

  3. John Reckolder said, on October 29, 2020 at 11:38 pm

    what is happening here

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