Lance Who

Posted in Undogegorized by chamblee54 on January 18, 2013






Of course you know who he is. He is the most famous bicycle racer in America. Who is number two? Of course you don’t know. Bicycles are a participant sport. Racing might be a big deal in Europe, but this is America. The next question is, why should people in America care whether bike racers in Europe use “performance enhancing drugs”.

A player using these substances is hurting himself. (apologies are extended to female users) Yes, steroids will turn your grapes into raisins. Just like knee injuries will make you walk funny. Repeated head injuries make you want to kill yourself. When you choose to participate in an activity, there are going to be side effects. It is just that some side effects create more hullabaloo than others.

This internet commentary was interrupted to listen to Mike Gallagher and Chris Wallace on the radio. It seems as though Gallagher is a mother’s maiden name, used as a stage name. Mr. Gallagher’s birth name was Smelster.

Getting back to the hysteria over drug use, in a boutique sport. This is step with the overall societal reaction to drugs, except alcohol. FBI agents recently interviewed Sheryl Crow, the former gf of Lance Who. (Black Sports Online says Sheryl Crow Snitched To The Feds About Lance Armstrong’s Doping.) The overkill of the War on Drugs has been extended into the mania about pedal pushers on steroids.

Lance Who has been accused of being an overall terrible human being in this affair. There are reports of throwing teammates under the bus, in an effort to keep his own star shining. This is the same competitive spirit that is acclaimed when someone wins, but denounced when the star is no longer in fashion. It is all about me winning.

This scandal will fade away. Oprah will find another spotlight to shine on her rotund face. Athletes will continue to be tested for a wide range of substances, so they can go on television and sell beer commercials. This was written like David Foster Wallace.







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