Chamblee54

Middle Names

Posted in Holidays, Undogegorized by chamblee54 on July 24, 2013







This is a double repost, about the custom of middle names. It was published in this format in 2011. Today, a middle name is like a body part or an excuse.. everyone has one. It has not always been that way. The part about Presidential middle names was written during the 2008 campaign. Pictures are from The Library of Congress .

With the current controversy about the Middle name of Barack Hussein Obama, perhaps it is time for a look at the lessons of history. George Washington did not have a middle name. Nor the rest of the early Presidents. The first one to have a middle name (or initial) is John Quincy Adams. J.Q. Adams is the first son of a president to hold the office. Many current observers wish he were still the only one.

The next POTUS to show a middle initial was William Henry Harrison. He was the first victim of the Zero Factor, in which Presidents elected in years ending in zero died in office. This tradition was ended by Ronald Wilson Reagan.

Another Zero Factor President, Abraham Lincoln, did not have a middle name. Ulysses S. Grant was born Hiram Ulysses Grant. One legend has a mistake on a school application giving him the middle name Simpson, after his mother’s maiden name. Moving into the twentieth century, William Howard Taft was referred to by all three names.

In many ways, Franklin Delano Roosevelt was the first president of the modern age. For some reason, his middle name was frequently used, and the initials FDR became popular. Presidential initials did not become popular again until JFK and LBJ. After FDR went to the fireside chat in the sky, Harry S. Truman became president. The S stood for nothing.

The next president whose middle name was frequently used was John Fitzgerald Kennedy. Could this be a subtle dig at his Irish background, much as the current noise about Barack Hussein Obama? As for Baines and Milhous, those both seemed to fit the personality of the man in the oval office.

After Tricky Dick was helicopered out of the White House, the use of Presidential middle names went into decline. Gerald Rudolph Ford would be a good trivia question. George Herbert Walker Bush downplayed his quadruple initials, perhaps knowing that many people don’t trust a man with two middle names. George Walker Bush is frequently referred to by his middle initial. Some even refer to the current “War on Terror” as “World War W”.

In the current election, we have a dark skinned man with a Muslim middle name. We have a white haired republican with the middle name of Sidney. And we have a married woman, who uses her maiden name as a middle name. Her original middle name is Diane. 2012 saw Willard Mitt Romney try to get elected. Thanks to wikipedia for help in researching this story.







Last year, PG heard a lot of fuss about the middle name of Barack Hussein Obama. This led to a post on the subject of Presidential Middle Names . That post is still getting google hits, and PG appreciates any traffic he can get.

While researching this feature, PG noticed that many of the early presidents did not have middle names . Apparently, before the American Revolution, middle names were seldom given. For some reason the custom caught on during the 19th century. When America started to draft men for World War I, the draft papers included a space for the middle name.

One possible reason for middle names was population density and increased family size. Many people began to have the same first name (or Christian name) and last name (Surname). Middle names were a way to distinguish between Jimmy Bob Jones and Jimmy Joe Jones. There was possibly a bit of status involved in having more than one name.

Women have long used the maiden name as a middle name after marriage. Girls were often not given middle names for this reason. The hyphenated Maiden-Married name is a fairly recent custom (Which this author hopes is a fad that will go away).

While middle names were originally a decoration, many are now used as a primary identification. PG is referred to as a diminutive of his middle name, which can be confusing when authorities insist on using his first name. The middle name is also a handy alternative for someone who gets tired of the name they are called by. There is also this thought …”I think parents give kids middle names so the kids will know when they are really p****d at them.” (That forum has an interesting post about Asian names and languages.) For some reason, people on trial for spectacular felonies are always referred to by all three names.





James Henry Diethorn

Posted in Undogegorized by chamblee54 on July 23, 2013

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It was labor day weekend in 1986. The Atlanta Sky Hi Club, a social club for tall people, was having a weekend long party. One room at the hotel served as a dormitory for leftover men. There was a man staying there, watching TV late one night, and laughing vigorously. A big man, with a big laugh. This was Jim Diethorn.
As the nineties and the oughts went by, PG and Jim stayed in “the club.” Jim had a business installing business systems, and was frequently on the road. A few years ago, health issues took Jim out of the workplace, and we saw more of him. He took over the job of club President, and tried to flog some life into it. By this time it was too late. The times had passed the Atlanta Sky Hi club by.
The other day, Jim Diethorn passed away. There is one less cook in the world, one less man singing in church. He will be missed by everyone that knew him.

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The Problem Of Anti-Racism

Posted in Race by chamblee54 on July 23, 2013

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Some people are proud of being anti-racist. This is not always something to be proud about. Often, as in anti communism and homophobia, the struggle against the unseen enemy is worse than the problem you are fighting. When you denounce someone as racist, you might be talking about yourself.

The discussion that follows should not be seen as pro racist. People should treat people with kindness. The word people does not need an adjective. This kindness should be extended to those who do not share your opinions about racism.

Maybe you should lead by example. Instead of worrying about how your neighbor thinks, worry about how you think. If you don’t like the nasty word don’t use it.

To some, racism is the ultimate taboo. It is the worst charge you can make about a person, and the quickest to be made. Once accused, you are guilty until proven innocent. It does not help that the definition of racism is expanding all the time. What one person considers racism is normal thinking to another. It used to be that racism was when you treated someone poorly because of their ethnicity. Now is is a multi faceted boogieman about power and prejudice. Keeping up can be a full time job.

Anti-communism has been compared to racism. To our younger readers, there used to be a system of government called communism. It was alleged to be involved in a cold war with the United States. This cold war was the justification for a bloated military industrial complex. Many crooked politicians were elected on the basis of being anti communist. Often, the fight against communism was worse than the actual system of government.

Racism is the new McCarthyism. Guilt by association is the rule. Difficult to refute charges are made against people. The charge of racism is used as a red herring.

Homophobia is compared to anti-racism. In both cases, the accuser has a set of standards. If the accused does not meet those standards, then the accused is considered fair game for abuse. The accused and the accuser may not agree on these standards. That does not matter. If someone wants to make the accusation, then they will, and will feel righteous about doing so.

It is frequently speculated that the homophobe is secretly gay. The need to be heard badmouthing gays stems from a perceived need to prove heterosexuality. Could this be the case with the anti racist? Maybe the anti-racist is secretly afraid that he/she might be a racist. The “calling out” of others, for perceived racism, is an effort to overcompensate for his/her own shortcomings.

Some things need to be said one more time. People should treat people with kindness. The word people does not need an adjective. Shaming and guilt mongering, because someone does not share your attitudes about race, is not appropriate. To use an anti-communist expression, there are better ways to win hearts and minds.

Pictures are by “The Special Collections and Archives,Georgia State University Library”.

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John Hartford

Posted in History, Music by chamblee54 on July 22, 2013

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Something was needed to listen to, while downloading pictures from “The Special Collections and Archives,Georgia State University Library”. (where today’s images come from) This is how things work. The tv set has not been turned on since the super bowl. Entertainment is what you make it.

The ear candy for that afternoon was a broadcast with John Hartford. That’s him in the embedded video. He is singing about vinyl records, and one of the problems they face. Vinyl is supposedly making a comeback. It was always high maintenance. This is not the case with John Hartford, who was a treasure of American music. In 1967, Glen Campbell had a summer replacement series in the Smothers Brothers time spot. During the intro, Mr. Campbell would be in the audience, singing “Gentle on my mind”. John Hartford would stand up, and start playing his banjo. Mr. Hartford wrote the song.

The show Mr. Hartford was on is Wired For Books. The appearance was promoting a book, Steamboat in a Cornfield. A boat got caught in a flood, and wound up in a cornfield. It became a tourist attraction. In addition to picking and grinning, Mr. Hartford liked to pilot river boats. Yes, there is a reason for the past tense. John Hartford went to that bluegrass festival in the sky on June 4, 2001.

PG saw John Hartford one night. It was a saturday night without much happening, and PG walked over to the Great Southeast Music Hall. It was after the formal show was over. John Hartford was playing with Lester Flatt and Benny Martin. Six weeks later, Lester Flatt died.

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Prospect Party

Posted in Georgia History, Trifecta, Undogegorized by chamblee54 on July 22, 2013








When PG found the party, the first thing he noticed was the food. There were hollowed out watermelons, filled with chunks of fruit. The obligatory spinach dip was there, as were pigs in blankets, and chips and dip. PG had already eaten dinner, but that seldom stops him.

The music was too loud for conversation outside. PG went inside and saw his friend Uzi. They discussed pictures of horses and non-synchronistic coincidence. Then some anonymous person stepped up to discuss the new shoe for lesbians, the Dyke-EE.

PG stepped outside again. The music made his glasses rattle in their frames. He went back inside and saw the former Miss Tall International®. She had sponsored a movie night the evening before and the movie had been a beautiful romance. PG forgot the title of the movie, probably because he didn’t go.

Onetime camping friend Pro-A, who liked to talk, appeared. PG was getting reckless by this time, and a talking person, no matter how enthusiastic, is preferable to “Play that funky music white boy” at migraine level. “Have you read any good books lately, Pro-A?” As fate would have it, Pro-A had just finished a tome about Catherine the Great, a Russian Czarina, that PG was blissfully ignorant about.

At this point, PG went into the kitchen to refill his cup with Mountain Dew. He came upon a conversation about Indian Food, vegetarianism, flatulence, and Bean-o. PG agrees with the concept of Bean-o, but wonders what people will do for after dinner amusement. Meanwhile, the music outside was turned down a notch, after houseplants complained about the noise.

This article did not charm the hostess. After dubious apology, PG was allowed to live. This is a repost, edited for the Trifecta writing contest. Pictures are from The Library of Congress.







Straw Man Speaks

Posted in Undogegorized by chamblee54 on July 21, 2013

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PG keeps an open document on his desktop. When he feels the urge to comment somewhere, he composes the remarks in this document. Often, the comment is not posted, which is better for all concerned. This is an edited regurgitation. ~ There are three images in this feature. Does anyone know how to pronounce meme? Does is rhyme with theme, or Mimi, or Vajayjay? ~ I keep hearing that racism is prejudice plus power. How can You Tube commenters be said to have power? ~ Ms. Obama was performing at a fundraiser. The heckler paid to be there. Ms. Obama is fair game. If she wants to avoid controversy, then she can stay home and bake cookies. ~ Philosophy is the disease for that which it is supposed to be the cure. ~ What is “the Fuck”? Is there only one? Is it male or female? Is it a noun, a verb, a modifier, or a language functionary? When you give a fuck, do you gift wrap it?

We don’t know what Jesus really said. All we have to go by is how is he quoted in the Bible, aka the book that teaches people to hate me. ~ There is a citizenship test. One is the questions is a set of pictures of the Supremes, and you are asked to match the multiple choice name with the picture. Kagan looks gay, Sotomayor looks hispanic, and Ginsburg looks old and withered. I got Clarence Thomas and John Roberts, but missed the other ones. ~ If you don’t like the n word then don’t use it ~ Hypocrisy, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. That may be the only thing those two concepts have in common. ~ Theology has become either nuanced to meaninglessness or stratified to viciousness. Stay away from other people’s opinion. Read your own Bible, form your own opinions and have your own relationship with G-d. ~ If Georgia ever goes majority black, it will be white people who want a voting rights act.

Here is a post about a street preacher. “Bro Cope” was working the Dragon Con Parade one time. There is a dialog in the comments. “Bro Cope” says “To be quite frank with you, our main purpose is to get people moving – towards God or away. We can not by our preaching put a particular direction in anyone’s heart. What we can do by our preaching is to ascertain what is already there, and then to magnify what is there. If going away from God, we drive them further away.” How selfish. It is all about his enjoyment. The people whose enjoyment he is affecting are not considered. It is as if he wants those people to go to hell. A street preacher is like a dog that will not stop barking. They create untold ill will for Jesus. When you preach without trust, you speak in vain. You might see what the third commandment says about that.

Christianism is not a faith. It is a scheme for life after death. ~ Or maybe the laziness of the press. Just hang out and say what your boss wants to hear. ~ This is not all white people. Generalized comments like that are misleading, no matter what adjective you put in front of people. ~ “hopelessly corrupt political establishment” Is there any other kind? ~ Rhyming Hasselhof with Mazel Tov is close to unforgivable. ~ This is a shakedown by a disgruntled former employee. America is being played. ~ “what would Jesus say?” Matthew 15:11 Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man. ~ Using the nasty word, that demeans the speaker as well as the object, is not a privilege. When black people use the nasty word, white people don’t have to. ~ Rachel Jeantel and Rush Limbaugh would make a cute couple. RL is single, and has money. RJ is a fully equipped female. Both like drugs, which RL can afford. RL can afford to buy birth control for all the mad pnp sex they would have. Both have talent on loan from G-d.

Is Eli Lake jealous of Dan Drezner? Spell check suggestion: Drainer ~ After reading your bitchy rant I would say it is you who is the desperate one. Especially if you have the knowledge of knowing who posts “every hour on the hour” May I suggest you get a new hobby read a book, go volunteer, do something but please spare us all of your bitter drama ~ You should read the complete letter. The sample above leaves out important bits of context. I tend to disagree with the letter. I could live without writing, or editing photographs. I enjoy those activities greatly, and hope that I contribute something to the world through them. However, if they were taken away from me tomorrow … a highly unlikely possibility … my life would go on. It just would not be as much fun. ~ The more secrets you have, the more people are going to have access to them. Why did Private Bradley Manning have this capability?

While listening to Charles Bukowski read poems, PG remembered to put a replacement roll of toilet paper in the bathroom. ~ I decided a while back to write my comments out in a separate document before posting. If a conversation looks like it might be controversial, I like to make a copy of it before it is deleted. I would be interested in reading this exchange. I find that the concept of straw man arguments is frequently misunderstood. ~ I used to see his comments, and then they disappeared. Maybe I am on his list of terrible people. You can’t please everyone. ~ a conservative is a liberal who has been labeled racist ~ Mainstream Jesus worshipers poison more minds than WBC. It is easy to dismiss the clown antics of WBC. The problem is that the everyday Jesus worshipers are taken seriously, with devastating effects. ~ We don’t need to talk about racism. We need to listen. ~ July 17 is the birthday of Phylis Diller and Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall. Looks are not everything. ~ Selah

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He Lucky I’m A Christian

Posted in Politics, Religion, Undogegorized by chamblee54 on July 21, 2013

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Rachel Jeantel, the friend of Trayvon Martin, gave a television interview recently. She said, referring to defense attorney Don West, “He lucky I’m a christian.” (5:26 in interview) It is tough to understand what she meant. An outburst, in a courtroom full of armed guards, would not have hurt Mr. West. Such an outburst would have done even more damage to the state’s case against George Zimmerman.

This comment brought PG back to an incident at Redo Blue. There was a person there, known here as the Bully For Jesus (BFJ.) This man had a hair trigger temper, and would use Jesus to hurt people. After seven years working closely with BFJ, PG sees Jesus as a source of abuse.

In this incident, BFJ heard PG say something to the store manager. “Does anyone adjusting the thermostat ask if their neighbor is comfortable?” BFJ was offended, and went off on PG. “You should thank G-d for Jesus. If it wasn’t for Jesus, I would have hurt you.”

Pictures are from “The Special Collections and Archives,Georgia State University Library”.

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Blue Tail Fly

Posted in History, Music by chamblee54 on July 20, 2013

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Q: What does “Jimmy crack corn” mean, and why does he not care?—Matt, Columbus, Ohio

PG was trolling “stupidquestion.net” when there was a convergence of stupidity. (The site does not exist in 2012.) All his life he had heard “Blue Tail Fly”, and been embarrassed. And there, in (pardon the expression) black and white, was someone who wondered the same thing.

It seems as though “Blue Tail Fly” started out as a minstrel song. For those who don’t know, minstrel shows were white people putting on black makeup, and imitating African Americans. Minstrelsy is not well thought of these days.

The story of BTF involves a slave named Jim. A fly bit the pony the old massa was riding, the pony was offended, and threw the old massa off. He was hurt landing, and died. Jim still has to crack corn, but he doesn’t care anymore, because old massa has gone away.

Dave Barry took a poll once to find out the stupidest song of all time. The overwhelming winner/loser was “MacArthur Park”. The combination of over the top show stopping, while singing about a cake left out in the rain, makes this ditty a duh classic.

In the spirit of corny convergence, the video is a karaoke version featuring Donna Summer . Miss Summer is a talented singer, who happened to connect with Giorgio Moroder. There are lots of singers who would have hit the big time if they had fronted those records, but Donna Summer hit the jackpot.

For a proper post, there needs to be a third stupid song. This is not about stupid bands, singing about being D U M B. Even though they totally don’t belong, there is a video of the Ramones included. PG saw the Ramones at the Agora Ballroom in 1983. This was after their prime, and before a homeless man caught the Ballroom on fire.

We still need a third stupid song, and PG wants to get this posted with as little research as possible. Just like some writer was once given twenty minutes to write a song, and he decided to do the worst song he could think of. The result was “Wild Thing”. PG used to have a 45 of someone who sounded like Bobby Kennedy singing “Wild Thing”.
This is a repost. Pictures are from “The Special Collections and Archives,Georgia State University Library”. This was downtown Atlanta in 1941.


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Puppirazzi

Posted in Trifecta, Undogegorized by chamblee54 on July 19, 2013

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James Baldwin And The Six Letter Word

Posted in Race by chamblee54 on July 18, 2013







In the spring of 1963, KQED filmed a show, “Take this hammer”, about James Baldwin. The snippet in the video above seems to have been the last three minutes of the show. Here is a transcript. Mr. Baldwin discusses a six letter insult. The n-word is more about the speaker, than the spoken of. A 2010 blogger had this to say.

What resonated with me about this particular video though, is the universal experience we’ve all had being referred to, thought of as, or called something we inherently are not. Not because of something we’ve done, mind you – but because of the way others “interpret” us. Those of us that “transgress” gender norms are often given titles and names that don’t fit who we are – but are more representative of the fears and desires of others. I’ve often felt that people’s projections of me are oftentimes just that – their projections. However, Baldwin’s ending sums up a solution to this perfectly: “But you still think, I gather, that the n****r is necessary. Well he’s unnecessary to me – he must be necessary to you. Well, I’m going to give your problem back to you…you’re the n****r, baby…not me.”

It is now 2013. (All discussions of race must mention the year.) The TV show was fifty years ago. A few things have changed. To many white people, overt expressions of racism are seen as bad manners. The n-word is taboo in polite company. The overall attitudes may not have changed, but most white people are careful how they say things.

African America is keeping the n-word alive. But it is still about the speaker, not the one spoken of. When people say the nasty word, they are talking about themselves. They are now the people James Baldwin is talking about. Pictures are from The Library of Congress. These men are Union soldiers, from the War Between the States.






Bulwer-Lytton 2013

Posted in Undogegorized by chamblee54 on July 17, 2013

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It is time for the 2013 edition of The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest. This is a competition for bad writing. It is not known when the “winners” were announced. It was possibly announced in the dark of night, with hopes that no one would notice. PG has written about TBLFC twice before. If you want the history of this shameful display, you can read one of those posts.

Today, we are going directly into the slush pile. Pictures are from “The Special Collections and Archives,Georgia State University Library”. Out of kindness to the reader, this is an pruned parcel of pasty pastel prose. There is nobody from Georgia. We can begin with The worst of the worst.

She strutted into my office wearing a dress that clung to her like Saran Wrap to a sloppily butchered pork knuckle, bone and sinew jutting and lurching asymmetrically beneath its folds, the tightness exaggerating the granularity of the suet and causing what little palatable meat there was to sweat, its transparency the thief of imagination. — Chris Wieloch, Brookfield, WI

The Chamblee54 report on TBLFC does not overlook the contestants with funny names. One hopes that these are pen names. Randal Pilz, Milton, FL ~ Thor F. Carden, Madison, TN ~ Helen Grainge, Niagara-on-the-Lake, Ontario ~ Ward Willats, Felton, CA ~ Jessica Sashihara, Martinsville, NJ ~ Aishia Trueman, Canberra, ACT, Australia ~ Linda Boatright, Omaha, NE ~ Amy Torchinsky, Greensboro, NC ~ Kevin Hogg, Cranbrook, BC ~ Shethra Jones-Hoopes, Conestoga, PA ~ Jackie Fuchs, Los Angeles, CA

As the sun dropped below the horizon, the safari guide confirmed the approaching cape buffaloes were herbivores, which calmed everyone in the group, except for Herb, of course. —
Ron D Smith, Louisville, KY
Even though Letitia had brushed her teeth, Draco could still smell her garlicky breath, but assuming her blood would at least be toxin free, if not particularly appetizing – because of the antibiotic properties of the garlic’s allicin, an organosulfur compound – he gleefully plunged his incisors into her throbbing jugular vein. — Maggie Lyons, Callao, VA
Count Glandula’s castle flickered with eerie lights, where the immortal villain slaked his evil thirst in the dungeons with innocent victims – two moldy old peasants because the virtuous maidens had all been taken by the hot teenaged vampires down the road whose breath wasn’t so icky. —
Janine Beacham, Busselton, WA, Australia

Before they met, his heart was a frozen block of ice, scarred by the skate blades of broken relationships, then she came along and like a beautiful Zamboni flooded his heart with warmth, scraped away the ugly slushy bits, and dumped them in the empty parking lot of his soul. — Howie McLennon, Ottawa, ON
Hotel exhibitionist looking for a voyeur. visiting one night, have the urge for a man/guy that is into peeping thru the window and watching me naked…got to be discreet. handsome/cleancut/bi guy, away from family, tall six ft w/m hwp one eighties 50 years old. must be discreet.
The sharks circled the leaking life raft like a pack of rabid personal-injury attorneys at a five-car pileup, and Clarence could just taste the fear (which tasted like chicken) and wondered morbidly if he too, might taste like chicken. — Wendi Tibbets, San Jose, CA

On their first date he’d asked how much she thought Edgar Allan Poe’s toe nails would sell for on eBay, and on their second he paid for subway fair with nickels he fished out of a fountain, but he was otherwise charming and she thought that they could have a perfectly tolerable life together. —
Jessica Sashihara, Martinsville, NJ
What the Highway Department’s chief IT guy for the new computerized roadway hated most was listening to the ‘smart’ components complain about being mixed with asphalt instead of silicon and made into speed bumps instead of graceful vases, like the one today from chip J176: “I coulda had glass; I coulda been a container; I coulda been some bottle, instead of a bump, which is what I am.” —
Brian Brandt, Lansdale, PA
Niles deeply regretted bringing his own equipment to the company’s annual croquet tournament because those were his fingerprints found on the “blunt instrument” that had caused the fatal depression in his boss’s skull and now here he stood in court accused of murder, yes, murder in the first degree with mallets aforethought. — Linda Boatright, Omaha, NE

Mrs. Irene Bartlett was so taken with the account of the annihilation of Sodom and Gomorrah, and the transformational moment when Lot’s wife was miraculously turned into a pillar of salt, that she became a Shaker. — John Holmes, St. Petersburg, FL
He spotted her as he left the Mudville baseball field, a handsome young woman sipping tea on the front porch swing of her house, and, though the boos and catcalls from today’s game still rang in his ears, the Mighty Casey decided that for the first time in his life he would not at all mind being associated with a swing and a Miss. — Tom Wallace, Columbia, SC
It was a dark and stormy night when, in the course of being snoopy, I happened upon the most extraordinary dog – sitting at an old-school typewriter upon the roof of his doghouse – who grumbled that he was working for peanuts.— Amy Torchinsky, Greensboro, NC

Although it was late at night and the snow was gently falling, Martin, who had gathered the young maidens together in the village church and was now, at the stroke of midnight, leading them across the town square, responded to the town constable’s enquiry as to what he was doing by replying, “I herd the belles on Christmas Day.” — Jim Tweedie, Long Beach, WA
It wasn’t sour grapes – Clementine knew that her parents just plum disapproved of her Kiwi lover; try as she might to explain that the love between the pair was all peachy, she might as well have been comparing apples to oranges, so although she was bananas for him, and the ring was certainly no lemon, she was forced to reply to his “Honey, do you?” with a mournful “You know I just can’t elope.” — Kevin Hogg, Cranbrook, BC
The veterinarian had suggested the tasty yellow fruit as a way to cure the undiagnosed lack of appetite that was ebbing away the very life of his fluffy little friend and Mark was fraught with anguish as he kept wondering, “Will a chick eat a banana?” — Nancy Hoffman, Peaks Island, ME

Betty had eyes that said come here, lips that said kiss me, arms and torso that said hold me all night long, but the rest of her body said, “Fillet me, cover me in cornmeal, and fry me in peanut oil”; romance wasn’t easy for a mermaid. — Jordan Kaderli, Dallas, TX
Derek squeezed through the narrow entrance past irate piles at the bar and pushed deeper into the tight, dark saloon, and brushing aside a stool and settling between ornaments that hung like polyps from the ceiling, he examined the texture of the walls with his fingertips while trying to avoid the gaze of the owner; the perfect bar, he mused, for the socially awkward proctologist. — Max Walker, Bryn Mawr, PA

Daphne had thoroughly researched the subject and concluded that, by all accounts, the medical procedure for reducing the size of her ample derriere was relatively safe but – and it is a big ’but’ – she understood there is always an inherent risk involving any surgery. — Clay Wach, Winnipeg, MB
Dark and stormy was her disposition; her hair cascaded evenly onto her shoulders in torrents – except at intervening occasions, when it was checked by a violent gust of air from a huge blower (for it is in Hollywood that our scene lies), rattling along her blouse top, and fiercely agitating the scanty fabric that struggled against her implants. — Lee Martinson, Yucaipa, CA
The dark and foreboding landscape was littered with crumbling castles, collapsed crypts, and earthworks for forgotten fortresses wherein lurked those most dastardly of degenerates, whose blood curdling cries made the lives of the locals a living hell – the historical reenactment society. —
Ted Downes, Cardiff, UK

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Techno For An Answer

Posted in Undogegorized by chamblee54 on July 17, 2013

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A few minutes ago, this blog published the worst jokes from the 2011 Edinburgh Fringe Festival. As a public service, to distract readers from the circular firing squads being conducted about racism, here are the ten best jokes from the 2012 festival. The 2013 Edinburgh Festival Fringe will be held August 2-26. The winners have not been announced.

1. Stewart Francis – “You know who really gives kids a bad name? Posh and Becks.”
2. Tim Vine – “Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back.
Luckily I was the one facing the telly. ”
3. Will Marsh – “I was raised as an only child, which really annoyed my sister.”

4. Rob Beckett – “You know you’re working class when your TV is bigger than your book case.”
5. Chris Turner – “I’m good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet … I don’t know why.”
6. Tim Vine – “I took part in the sun tanning Olympics – I just got Bronze.”
7. George Ryegold – “Pornography is often frowned upon, but that’s only because I’m concentrating.”

8. Stewart Francis – “I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting!”
9. Lou Sanders – “I waited an hour for my starter so I complained: ‘It’s not rocket salad.”
10. Nish Kumar – “My mum’s so pessimistic, that if there was an Olympics for pessimism …
she wouldn’t fancy her chances.”

If this does not satisfy you, here is a feature about 100 best jokes. Included is number 19. “People who like trance music are very persistent. They don’t techno for an answer.” Joel Dommett. Pictures, from Gwinnett County, probably do not include any Scottish comedians.

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