Drug Screen

Posted in GSU photo archive, Politics, Undogegorized by chamblee54 on December 19, 2014









The work assignment required a drug screen. On one level, this is no big deal. PG has been detoxed for a while. A residual distaste for the war on drugs except alcohol does linger over the chore.

There was an email. You print the information on the email, and take it to an office. The offices are listed on the email, in fine print. PG printed the email, and wrote the address, and phone number, of the nearest office on the back. This office had moved across the street.

PG called the phone number. A lengthy recorded message started, with no menu options. 3 was the number for speaking to a person. The line went directly to voicemail.

Since the office was nearby, PG decided to just go (to the office.) Fortunately, the office was only a couple of miles away. The note said 976 Johnson Ferry Road. When you went past Northside Hospital, the next building is an MOB complex. There are 2 buildings, 960 and 980.

PG turns around to go home. He tries to call the office, and gets voice mail. He leaves a message. “This is a nightmare. Answer your phone.” He might have raised his voice.

When he got home, PG took another look at the email. After enlarging the text, he saw that the address was 975 Johnson Ferry Road, instead of 976. PG called another office of the drug testing company. The line was busy. PG then tried the first office again, and left a message.

A few minutes later, the lady from the first office called back. Yes, they were open today, and were not especially busy. To get to the parking lot, you turn onto Meridian Mark Drive, and take a right into the parking deck. This is something else the email did not tell you.

Once PG got to the office, things came out all right. The lady was very friendly. It turns out she is in the office by herself. The drug testing company is trying to squeeze all the profits they can.

The procedure was the same as before. Go in the bathroom, fill the cup past the sticker, and do not flush. You fill the cup, and put the toilet seat back down. There is a sink behind the desk, where the attendant watches you wash your hands. You need to sign three copies of the “URINE CHAIN OF CUSTODY FORM.” At this point the procedure is finished.

As if the medical extortion committee is not punishment enough, most facilities require you to pay for parking. When it was time to leave, PG had to wait behind a BMW. The AMEX card was rejected, and the lady fed dollar bills into a machine. A man in the little building talked on his phone, and pointed to the machine. PG fed enough dollar bills into the machine to satisfy the hunger. Pictures are from “The Special Collections and Archives, Georgia State University Library”.








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