Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on March 7, 2018

To save money use both sides of the toilet paper … There’s no need to wipe if it’s a clean cut crap
Be a gentleman, Wait until she’s done brushing her teeth before peeing in the sink
Rub pickle juice under your arm pits if you run out of deodorant

Use bug spray as deodorant … Run out of toilet paper? Use your dog
Pickles make the best tampons … Vibrators can be licked clean
If you run out of toothpaste, you can always use Elmer’s Glue

Perfume covers a multitude of sins, Dollar Store perfume does it inexpensively
Using Meth whitens and strengthens teeth … Floss is too flimsy, try a razor blade
Hairballs retrieved from shower drain can be dried and glued directly to scalp

Licking the floor at Wal-Mart prevents gum disease … Raspberry jam make great shampoo in a pinch
Get addicted to meth … Go barefoot at the casino … No new toothbrush? use a live weasel
The mud you find around most “Port A Potties” is great for opening up your pores

Go through the car wash with the windows open … Use Crisco on your face to get that youthful glow
Wiping your hands in your armpits has the same effectiveness as hand sanitizer
If your dog licks your face, your face has basically been washed and exfoliated for the day

Wear a condom with your wife so you don’t give your side-chick her diseases
Brush your teeth with bleach, it makes teeth whiter … Instead of toilet paper, use sand paper
Save money and use the breath mints that they kindly leave out in the urinals

If blinded by the light, wrap up like a douche … Toilet paper cannot do what a confident finger can
Save money on showers by rubbing yourself all over with bacon & your dog will lick you clean
Bathe in Swamp Water … In a pinch, Oreo stuff doubles as toothpaste

Bathe within the coagulated blood of the old gods, their black tainted flesh spouting forth accursed oceans of fetid fluids into the crater where you lie, let their great teeth hunt for knowledge in your mind, and attend Tapioca Fuck Fest 2018 … Pictures today are from The Library of Congress.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: