My AA Sponsor Tells The Best Jokes

Posted in Weekly Notes by chamblee54 on April 30, 2018

Hear the 10 Best Albums of the 1960s as Selected by Hunter S. Thompson ~ @MomofTeen My AA sponsor tells the best jokes. Ready? A guy tells his friend: “I think my wife is dead.” Friend: “You THINK your wife is dead?” Guy: “Yeah. The sex is the same, but the dishes keep stacking up.” ~ Kim Zolciak-Biermann of ‘RHOA’ cries while stating racism isn’t ‘real’ ~ Commentary: My $200,000 Debt Should Not Disqualify Me For Governor of Georgia ~ @awildejake dude sorry but do you need help cleaning up your word soup you spilled it everywhere and it’s kind of a mess ~ Waffle House shooting victims ID’d ~ People Are Worrying That Kanye West Is Getting Radicalized By The Far Right ~ Should Asperger Syndrome Be Renamed? Unearthed Documents Reveal Disturbing Truth About Hans Asperger ~ Heretics ~ Winston Johnson ~ Civility is more than good manners. It is an essential ingredient in an effective adversarial legal system such as ours. The absence of civility would produce a system of justice that would be out of control and impossible to manage:  normal disputes would be unnecessarily laced with anger and discord;  citizens would become disrespectful of the rights of others;  corporations would become irresponsible in conducting their business;  governments would become unresponsive to the needs of those they serve;  and alternative dispute resolution would be virtually impossible. ~ To avoid incivility’s evil consequences of discord, disrespect, unresponsiveness, irresponsibility, and blind advocacy, we must encourage lawyers to embrace civility’s positive aspects. Civility allows us to understand another’s point of view. It keeps us from giving vent to our emotions. It allows us to understand the consequences of our actions. It permits us to seek alternatives in the resolution of our problems. All of these positive consequences of civility will help us usher in an era where problems are solved fairly, inexpensively, swiftly, and harmoniously. The public expects no less and we must rise to the occasion in meeting those expectations. ~ The U.S. Has Never Had a Black Woman as Governor. Stacey Abrams Plans to Change That. ~ @StephenMolldrem “There was never a time when I did not make sentences in order to make those things that I had experienced cohere and become ‘real.’” – Gore Vidal @chamblee54 the next sentence: “Finally, the novelist must always tell the truth as he understands it while the politician must never give the game away.” ~ hair truthers ~ @ChelseaClinton Hi @amychozick! Hearing there are more tidbits about me in your book which were easily fact checked and you fact checked…none of them. Here’s an easy one: I’ve never gotten hair keratin treatment. The others would have been equally easy! ~ rock road maps ~ Claims by Joy Reid’s Cybersecurity Expert Fall Apart ~ continental baths ~ dekalb history center ~ himeros ~ How Do You Control 1.4 Billion People? ~ @chamblee54 @AryehCW @OsitaNwanevu fun chat to listen to After 26 minutes, you have not, to my knowledge, said either racism or racist. This is to be commended, as those words are used entirely too much ~ @chamblee54 .@robertwrighter iow, @RichardBSpencer is a #neonazi because .@ChrisDStedman says so maybe the problem is throwing around labels with elastic definitions ~ Michelle Wolf’s Full Performance At White House Correspondents’ Dinner ~ Miss Wolf ~ ipso facto proof of racism ~ going mickey kaus ~ andrew hollarean ~ @chamblee54 @robertwrighter @ChrisDStedman queer pro tip: be careful how you use the phrase *tongue in cheek* on a lighter note, either @GlennLoury or @JohnHMcWhorter compares social justice jihad / anti racism to religion there are many similarities ~ anybody who thinks they are indispensable should put their finger in a glass of water and look at the hole it leaves when they pull it out ~ #MyEpitaphWillSay I had the right of way ~ technically, the regrettable phenomenon known as singular they is strictly a third person affair. Second person is safe for you and y’all. ~ I just got a robo call from Rick Jeffries. Do not vote for this person. ~ When I first heard of DFTD, you could not find a copy for sale anywhere. Then I helped someone move, and he had a copy. A few days later, I saw it on the 25 cent shelf at the neighborhood used book store. ~ There is a bit where he went in the mens room, after a man he lusted after had been in there, just so he could smell the odor. That scared me. ~ @Twitter is so much fun. I was going to say #Racist I typed in #Rac and waited for the auto suggest. The top choice was #RachelDolezal ~ There is going to be a backlash to the Trump hate party. ~ Do you mean Trump haters or Trump supporters who are haters? Your wording doesn’t make it clear. ~ I mean the backlash will form in the general public, as a reaction to Trump derangement syndrome. As it did to the hysterical rhetoric surrounding Bill Clinton, George W Bush, and Barack Obama. Haters don’t know when to quit, and they assume that most people agree with them. ~ If Batman was Jewish, and had a daughter, what would you call her coming of age ritual? ~ Incident in Key West: Tennessee Williams was having dinner, with a one eyed man, and a lady. The one eyed man got upset, and threw his glass eye at the lady. It fell in her soup. She dished the eye out of her soup, passed it back to the man, and said this belongs to you. ~ #BadHygieneTips was the poem for last night
bathe in swamp water for a youthful glow ~ lose your toothbrush? find a live weasel
go lick your vibrator clean tomorrow ~ dollar store cologne instead of diesel
smoke the breath mints in the urinal ~ floss is too flimsy try a razor blade
fill both sides of toilet paper y’all ~ lick bathroom floor at the colonnade
bug spray deodorant in a pinch ~ perfume covers the republican stench
you never have to wipe a clean cut crap ~ if you piss in the sink with spinal tap
use meth to whiten and strengthen smile ~ kinky groovy sex at walmart lifestyle
pictures by chamblee54 taken in central time zone ~ selah

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