Chamblee54

Catalog Part Six

Posted in Poem by chamblee54 on June 27, 2018


DJT Tweets About HRC
she has done poorly with such men – horrible things about my supporter
brainpower is highly overrated – constantly playing women’s card
reading poorly from telepromter – she should be ashamed of herself
pandering to the worst instincts – never been anything like her lies
no solutions no ideas no credibility – she has failed failed failed failed

#ScaryStoriesIn5Words
ann coulter make out session – bernie sanders in tighty-whities
dating naked renewed next season – freddy krueger wet dream deodorant
leak hilary clinton nude photos – honey boo boo mom sextape
kim kardashian retweets my picture – view deray mckesson verify account
michael jackson coming to babysit – stuck in traffic with diarrhea
viral infection makes cows extinct – we’re having a vegan wedding

#5WordSeduction
i often use correct punctuation – will never never vote republican
dishes are done laundry folded – make you pancakes tomorrow dear
how about watching some football – your nipples taste really funny
does this smell like chloroform? – my ankle bracelet doesn’t work
wanna see my comic collection?

#ShareYourBadJoke
two cannibals were eating a clown does this taste funny to you?
bees go to bathroom at bp station – f transitioning into m is dude process
a neutron walks into a bar orders beer bartender says for you no charge
what does hipster weigh? an instagram – past present future go into bar its tense
a pair of jumper cables walks into a bar i’ll serve you but don’t start anything

#4WordCauseOfDeath Part Two
toxic work environment diversity – beginner at russian roulette
drank cheap gas station coffee – monday morning gas station sushi
retweeting while driving drunk – after overdosing on tiny violins
flesh wound involving a unicorn

Not Getting To Perform Part Two
java monkey speaks 11 pm curfew – piers gaveston got lost in the fog
lady before him had anger to spew – some would call her a female dog
poet style a machine gun monotone – went on on on much longer than needed
evil hillary toxic trump rupaul unknown – poopeyhead purge is never completed
if others are waiting please trim your word – we have only so much time
listen to others if you want to be heard – respectability politics are not a crime

Java Monkey is down stairs from a condo building. If the show goes on past 11pm, there is trouble. On this night, a new emcee was taking over. There was a big crowd, and I was way down on the list. When 11pm was approaching, a young lady started to speak. No one had ever heard her before. She had an angry, political speech. There was no let up, no change of pace, no concession to the comfort of the audience. It is a cliche of activism that “it is not my job to make you comfortable.” This may work for the protest stage, especially when you are preaching to the choir. However, Sunday night open mic is entertainment. You can be political, but you should be aware of your audience. It is rather selfish to take the “its not my job…” attitude in any circumstances. When you are preaching to the converted, it does not matter. However, when a curfew is approaching, and people are not going to get to perform, “its not my job” is not a good look.

#RejectedPantoneColors
taupe of the heap supremacy white – destroy soul of my enemy pink
urinal cake pink ratchet red – taco filling tube red $5 whorange
engine light orange blonde kanye – urine trouble yellow oil spill black
pc beige hot dog factory flesh tone – penis envy green algae pond green
splatter green truck stop hooker blue – cornhole blue honey boo boo blue
barney purple just the tip purple – umber the rainbow who gives a fuscia

sausage jockey
brothers of the fudge big boy combo play – microwave popcorn hot dog engineer
bowling in the basement hershey highway – liquor in the front poker in the rear
intestinal tourist private first class – backdoor barbeque michelangelo
anal chainsaw massacre backstage pass – vegan hotpocket curly larry moe
hunker down brown town panorama – sausage jockey creeper peeper
sliding all the way to lower alabama – stick it in stick it in deeper deeper
dance the chocolate chacha elton john – driving on on on on the autobahn

Mexico Later – tweets from @realDonaldTrump
saturday night live is worst of nbc – not funny cast is terrible really bad
in horrible shape falling apart pee – not to mention crime infested sad
totally made up facts by sleazebag – a failed spy afraid of being sued
are we living in nazi germany drag – lost so badly they just don’t know dude
most over-rated actress in hollywood – arnold schwarzenegger got swamped
just more very dishonest media hood – sleazebag political operative stomped
will be paid back by mexico later rot – going to be a smooth transition not

Shakespeare Insult Generator
thou errant doghearted measle squid – gorbellied whoreson haggard booby hatch
you should be women yet your beards forbid – tottering obscene greasy tallow-catch
hence, horrible villain I’ll spurn thine eyes – like balls before me I’ll unhair thy head
poisonous bunch-back’d toadstool surprise – brine smarting in lingering pickle dead
thou clay-brained guts knotty-pated fool – cockered ill-breeding beef witted tool
thine horrid image doth unfix my hair – per bootless mongrel strumpet derrière
your virginity breeds mites much like a cheese – as tedious as tired old whore strip tease
thou dankish unchin-snouted malcontent – spleeny dog hearted onion-eyed pignut
bawdy flap-mouthed giggler testament – frothy beetle-headed gudgeon mac butt
thy hugger bugger kiss is comfortless – as frozen water to a hungry snake
wayward canker-blossom pox-mark putress – thou mangled sheep-biting bladder forsake
i scorn you, scurvy companion buttock – misbegotten folly-fallen rut sock
fawning dizzy eyed porcine maggot-pie – roguish earth-vexing bugbear lullaby
rascally, cheating, poor lack-linen mate – away you moldy old rogue ruminate

We believe black lives matter
Woman’s rights are human rights and that no human is illegal
We know that science is real We feel that love is love
We see that kindness is important
As is correct grammar proper spelling, and fact checking

Mckinnon Acrostic
morphodite democratic delusion
cracker employment asylum martyr
killer media self is an illusion
if you assume everyone is smarter
needle on fingers of an open grope
noodle protest against humidity
opiate the futility of hope
not smiling idiot stupidity
lilac never be dishonest weasel
under powerless alienation
testosterone altruistic people
hear affirmation find inebriation
eager starvation somnambulist
rocking and rolling materialist

Rules For Writing
writing is a part of who you are – not just something that you do
writing well requires a rhythm star – just finish what you’ve started boo
read more sacrifice overflowing – be a person who enjoys sitting down
it’s not about finishing it’s knowing – when to stop writing and go to town
style is a mood you generate out – of yourself can do anything you want
don’t listen to anyone with doubt – who tells you how to write or taunt

Autological
sesquipedalian hyperventilation – fricative wishy washy frankenword
unhyphenated articulation – superfluous awkward canary bird
time-consuming nasal cacophonous – supererogatory twelve-letter
literary harmless euphonious – redundant grandiloquent go getter
asexual visible aromatic – nonpalindromic pentasyllabic
esoteric synthetic problematic – pedantic polysyllabic bombastic
formal dactylic anagramatic – self-referential multisyllabic

Miss Moo
zoom yuk yowza zinger twinkle – snarl snore wallop yadda yahoo
whisper whip why whinny waffle – warble woo hoo wee wee woo woo
tweek poop twang peep trickle tick tock – tinkle swish thump squish thud tee tee
squeak squeal splatter spank snuggle shock – slurp spit heehaw twitter snap spree
scarf rustle rush rumble scat scrap – rabbit rip rattle rah rah ru
smash smack slosh slop slither slip slap – shit slash sizzle sing shuffle screw
puff poot plop plink prattle plonk plunk – pitter patter ping pong piss poo
oink mutter ouch nutter ooze junk – murmur munch moan mumble miss moo

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