Chamblee54

Calm Down

Posted in Poem by chamblee54 on July 17, 2018

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No Offense

Posted in Poem by chamblee54 on July 13, 2018

Play

Posted in Poem by chamblee54 on July 11, 2018

How To Stay Young

Posted in Poem by chamblee54 on July 8, 2018

Witness Blasphemies

Posted in Poem, Religion by chamblee54 on July 7, 2018

Bake Existential Ecstasy

Posted in Poem by chamblee54 on July 4, 2018

Catalog Part Nine

Posted in Poem by chamblee54 on June 30, 2018


Sonnets are the gateway drug. Fourteen lines, iambic pentameter, abab rhyme scheme. The first eight lines are part one, the last six lines are part two. There is more to it, but I am not an academic. I do poetry to have fun, and create beauty. When you find that free verse is too costly, the structure of restrictive poetic formats can be liberating. Someone named Shakespeare wrote sonnetsr.

The villanelle is the next domino to drop. It is not related to Nell Fenwick, the girlfriend of Dudley Dooright, although it does have a similar name. The villanelle is nineteen lines long, and has a formula of repeating lines. Only two rhyming sounds are used, so poets like words with lots of rhyming possibilities. The most famous example of the villanelle is Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night, by Dylan Thomas. A villanelle below is why did the chicken commit suicide

The pantoum is another form based on repeating lines, in a disconcerting order. It can be combined with the sonnet to create the shakestoum. Here, the first eight lines of the sonnet stand as originally written. The second six lines of the sonnet are repeated twice, in a different order. An example of the shakestoum is what did the playtex bra say to the hat? Poetry does not have to be serious.

There are dozens of Poetry Types. The haiku is beyond easy, and can be fun. The acrostic… where the first letter of every line forms a word … is included in this collection. My name has 14 letters, so writing an Mckinnon Luther acrostic sonnet was an offer I could not refuse. Other poems to maybe someday explore include sestina, ghazel, and contrapuntal.

why did the chicken commit suicide
is it a lie or can it be true – she wanted to get to the other side
always looking for fine feathered bride – if the lips are moving that is a clue
why did the chicken commit suicide – a blaze of glory like bonnie and clyde
left nothing but a greasy residue – she wanted to get to the other side
not a good day to swallow her pride – did not get invited to the barbeque
why did the chicken commit suicide – facing a future battered and fried
could not get away to drink a cold brew – she wanted to get to the other side
tired of hearing ’bout yardbird genocide – weary of all the cock a doodle do
why did the chicken commit suicide – she wanted to get to the other side

what did the playtex bra say to the hat? – you go on ahead i’ll give these two a lift.
why didn’t the strip club hire the big cat – because she was a cheetah get my drift
what did one blue eye to the other say? – something smells between us out at large
i tried to buy a neutron the other day – shopkeeper gave it to me without charge
she went out with a girl called simile – doesn’t know what she metaphor you see
a mirror photography career – I could see myself doing it next year
doesn’t know what she metaphor you see – need to sell my vacuum cleaner she fussed
I could see myself doing it next year – ’cause right now it is just collecting dust
need to sell my vacuum cleaner she fussed – a mirror photography career
’cause right now it is just collecting dust – she went out with a girl called simile

is it a lie or can it be true
a perfect example white privilege grump- if the lips are moving that is a clue
oozing pollution what would jesus do- here’s your nose back thanks for the bump
is it a lie or can it be true- colostomy regurgitation stew
remember bette davis what a dump- if the lips are moving that is a clue
see it from a different point of view– little better than your prodigal chump
is it a lie or can it be true- minimum payment was way overdue
true confessions of kardashian rump- if the lips are moving that is a clue
got the right church but the wrong pew- continental style of forrest gump
is it a lie or can it be true- if the lips are moving that is a clue

This wraps up the catalog project. When this thing got started, I did not intend to publish posts about what I found. The idea was to go in, make a list of what I had, and identify the good poems for later use. When I got into 2014, I began to want to post some of the better work. At this time, I am going to post some poems from 2013.

The graphic poems originally were a response to prompts from the trifecta writing contest. The first graphic poem was Laundry, posted October 4, 2013. The text is placed on the right side, instead of in the middle. It was a learning curve. The first poem I want to reprint here is another trifecta prompt.

such a groovy player – permanent scare
what is hidden in there – bigger than her derriere
life is not fair – try not to stare
say a quiet prayer – for the girl with big hair

November 10, 2013, was the 100th anniversary of James Broughton’s birth. I had briefly met Mr. Broughton in 1983, and attended a fund raising event for a film about Mr. Broughton, Big Joy. There was a later blog post, Pauline Kael, Gina James, And James Broughton. On the 100th birthday party (Mr. Broughton died in 1999,) there was a celebration in Atlanta. This poem is the result.

it is this – when misters kiss
shout and twist – follow your own weird
naked dancer splinter risk – 100 birthdays 14 miss
twenty reader poetry bliss – remember in november
big joy in the granite hall – it was over much too soon
he and she and you and y’all – erogeny it is this

Call To Dinner
pg was talking on his phone – while getting ready to go
to dinner he saw his wallet – and car keys and looked for
the phone before realizing – he was talking on that phone

Morticia Addams Had Lunch – with lily munster – lurch served them
having waited tables – since the divorce – morticia left a generous tip
lily got drunk and tried – to leave without paying – thing caught lily

amanda palmer drops the veil – to become a viral sensation
converts rage into mammary tale – forgoes the request for donation
the daily mail saw her boob – they knew the tit not the tune
copacetic reply delights you tube – dangerous lady honeymoon
miss palmer shed her kimono – to call out twat misogyny
much prettier than yoko ono – more musical than deuteronomy

Mullet Over

Posted in Poem by chamblee54 on June 29, 2018

Catalog Part Eight

Posted in Poem by chamblee54 on June 29, 2018


comma splice walks into a bar it has a drink and then leaves
gerund and infinitive walk into a bar drinking to drink
three intransitive verbs walk into a bar they sit they drink they leave

First They Came
first they came for the weirdos i said nothing because i was normal
then they came for those who frowned i said they have a negative attitude
they came for the lonely and depressed i said nothing because it is their choice
then they came for those they label racist i said nothing i do not defend racism
then they came for me there was no one left to speak up

#SignsOfANeighborFromHell Part One
infected tree falling in the driveway – bathtub on the porch toilet in the dell
sneak out of diner when it’s time to pay – aromatic children smoking dog smell
talk about the babysitter out loud – say this is better than birmingham
garden gnome has pitchfork and crowd – junior plays hopscotch on a pentagram

#signsofaneighborfromhell parts two and three
these are the #signsofaneighborfromhell – dog tries to kill one more chicken
brimstone barbeque with a gnarly smell – cooked on a charcoal grill in the kitchen
sacrifice of goats while you are sleeping – has a personal relationship with jesus
horns on the head pointy tail squeaking – talking in tongues about his penis
she knocks to ask you for a cup of meth – grumpy postal worker with bad breath
big hair honey smokes marlboro butts – all the little boys have mullet haircuts
she lights the garden grill with her finger – fat children ask if are you a swinger

alluvial shit piss and corruption – excremental feculent forgotten
festering fornication suction – dental hygiene of johnny rotten
contaminated vessel of disrepute – wipe silverware clean with your shirt
ewwie gooey vomitory for the loot – grunt and groan diarrhea squirt
bloviating dumpster of human drool – colostomy regurgitation stew
pornographic penile pustule – oozing pollution what would jesus do

It is now time for #NationalPoetryMonth, and another thirty for thirty.

joy of finding change in a payphone – wear a dress backwards for charm
hillary clinton for president crone – def leppard drummer with right arm
hairball retrieved from shower drain – can be dried out and glued on tight
oreo stuffing fights toothpaste pain – two wrongs do not make you right
out of toilet paper? find a doggie – lick mud you find at a port a pottie
say “you” instead of “u” in a text – when you cry wolf at night after sex
grace to know the difference between – true wisdom and clever string of sheen

blow job boner boogie woogie boo boo – freaky french fry mambo mama gobble
cunnilingus cock sucker gaggle cuckoo – carpetmuncher deepthroat wigglewobble
pussy peepee penis pinga pecker – fellatio hair pie hookup hoover head
johnson junkjuice knobjob chubbydecker – monica lewinsky muff diver fred
skin flute salad sister sixtynine slurp – wang chung verga down wet willie spurt
glimmer lady clitoris dancing stupor – doober your uber upside my goober
lick swallow cowboy sucky fucky witch – gonna suck the chrome off a trailerhitch

henry charles chinaski bukowski – would hate my sonnet if he had a chance
at coffee drinking open mic poetry – dickhater georgia gothic romance
hank thinks poems that rhyme are a bore – like baseball nuns or men who cry
some people think he died in ninety four – california dirt will tell you don’t try
hank still has a racetrack episode – bets on number nine horse to kill
with a twenty fished out of the commode – after taking a dump on top of the bill
forever spitting out poems like hot turds – on the morning after beer drunk words

maybe i never just went very honestly – swashbuckling rutabaga mannequins
i hope that i should but i can’t literally – skedaddle spelunker shenanigans
i’ll try but i’ve got a problem absolutely – brouhaha pumpernickel appetite
irregardless i have to stuff things really – quintessential humbuggery morphodite
strumpet ragamuffin charlie mingus – discombobulated cunnilingus
umpteen bunghole kaleidoscope fantasy – nincompoop fooey latrine manatee
cuckhold phalanx tomfoolery bongo – kumquat lollygag idiot mambo

caucasian opinion is like an asshole – it should be clean quiet kept out of sight
unlike a preacher who covets your soul – and motivates you to go out and fight
put labels on jars not on my brother – conservative racist or liberal
or terrorist who’s always the other – words that divide us like a cannibal
is it a lie or can it be true – if the lips are moving that is a clue
don’t even wait for demagogue shout – the devil knows the bible in and out
media manipulation to spend – never forget we are all god’s children

#ImShowingMyAge
turn the black and white TV knob slow – watch two five eight eleven if you dare
stay up late for the johnny carson show – then television goes off the air
just putting on my shoes is a chore – either take viagra or be obsolete
pay cash for cassettes at record store – dancing to the wqxi beat
leisure suit jacket looked pretty sporty – what once was a 6 pack is now a 40
sing along with hee haw made me smile – where’s the star on a rotary phone dial
no ma’am I dont know what idk means – why would anyone ever say cool beans

#MyDogStoleMyPhoneAnd
#mydogstolemyphoneand found legs to hump – acts like he hasn’t done anything wrong
tweets more coherent than @realdonaldtrump – tail dialing friends taking hits from a bong
invites buddies over for poker night – sent fifi selfies of his doggie junk
texted stormy spaniels got in a fight – called on uber he’s at the bar drunk
ordered pizza with pineapple donuts – listed pals with a picture of their butts
rude message calling our cat a jerk – told teacher i didn’t do my homework
joined barkersonly.com to get dates – when I get a call the stomach vibrates

#BadHygieneTips
bathe in swamp water for a youthful glow – lose your toothbrush? find a live weasel
go lick your vibrator clean tomorrow – dollar store cologne instead of diesel
smoke the breath mints in the urinal – floss is too flimsy try a razor blade
fill both sides of toilet paper y’all – lick bathroom floor at the colonnade
bug spray deodorant in a pinch – perfume covers republican stench
you never have to wipe a clean cut crap – if you piss in the sink with spinal tap
use meth to whiten and strengthen smile – kinky groovy sex at walmart lifestyle

Catalog Part Seven

Posted in Poem by chamblee54 on June 28, 2018


Wonder Weasel
shake hands with a salami cluster bomb – its got a beat you can dance to it
whitewash the fence with huck and tom – spray whipped cream on a banana split
trigger therapeutic trouser snake – satin head serpent of carnal knowledge
tenderize lumberjack happy tube steak – put mr. kleenex’s kids through college
pull your own baloney pony weight – put relish on your hot dog spaghetti
play tag with your pink torpedo mate – wax one-eyed wonder weasel chevy
plug in semen extraction toaster – calibrate satanic surge protector
ram the ham secret sauce roaster – tip off the crazy hand jive inspector

my faithful darling my sweet-eyed – blackguard schoolgirl be my whore
my mistress as much as you like – your cunt does another dirty thing
your hot cheeks and eyes my little cuntie – fuck your two rosy-tipped bubbies
she wants me to roger her arseways – to come on your face and squirt it over
small things give me a great cockstand – the horn I had was not big enough
I am going to lie down and pull at myself – till I come lie frigging all day looking

here in body now is the place to be – it is never too late to do nothing mate
invite thoughts in don’t serve them tea – to talk to god pray to listen meditate
always remember breathe to be free

White Trash Tinkle
blue eye devil betty crocker – big nose cabbage degenerate
becky bubba crisco cracker – buffy clampett confederate
lily munster elvis fruitcake – yogurt yuppie yaku winkle
ofay opie paleface pancake – whiskey tango white trash tinkle

vegas showman ill-fitting trouser tubes – unpleasant smell emanating outside
stick figure curly hair smiley face boobs – bride of frankenstein makeup petrified
deodorant congealed to little chunks – ensnared among matted armpit jungle
past vomitorium to the privy drunks – pungent bluecheese crumble antifungal
clutching empty bottle of thunderbird – scent that smells like embalming fluid flan
mutilated corpse of mortimer snerd – a cunning plan hatched by a punning clan
muzak thrum of manilow’s greatest hits – bury her husband’s body bleeding misfits

puff the magic dragon fellatio – play a million songs bubba can sing
penis pleasure palace arpeggio – the oral majority happening
happy focus on whimsical motion – gentle enjoyment for the clitoris
magic magenta pillow commotion – liberate sodomy brontosaurus
parade every nerve ending he has – tease us like lovely horndogs we are
play over 6,000 nerve ending jazz – pretend your tongue is a feather guitar
embody purply sensitivity – harmony ecstasy festivity

#NationalTellAJokeDay
two hungry cannibals eating a clown – does this fellow taste funny to you slim
this guy walked into a bar with a frown – man should have looked in front of him
what is a bee born in may a maybe – there was a little girl in nantucket
prisoner takes own mug shot a cell-fie – how do you keep a moron in suspense

Cross The Road
where’s the best place to hide a dead body – try page two of google search results
why was six afraid of seven mommy – because seven ate nine happy adults
need more gates around graveyards because – the people are just dying to get in
why did van gogh become painter who draws – he just didn’t have an ear for music my friend
why did the old duck cross the road kick’n – to prove that he wasn’t just a chicken
why did the duck get arrested out back – maybe because he was peddling quack
why did the chicken commit suicide – he wanted to get to the other side

watermelons marry they cant elope – didn’t like my beard but it grew on me
are the frogs high they are smoking croak – what kind of bee makes milk? a boo bee
to hurt lady gaga poker face taint – you count cows with a cowculator fist
whats red smells like blue paint red paint – goodbye boiling water you will be mist

#aduckwalksintoabar waddle it be – sends pretty lady unwanted duck pic
self medication for the mallardy – get a quack fix from heron dealer nick
a dyslexic duck walks into a bra – gets hammered skips out on his bill
i don’t know the tune but i’ll wing it raw – its donald duck not donald trump chill

Caucasian Cha Cha
many opinions ’bout white folks who dance – some look down their nose at the spectacle
we are having fun so we take the chance – so what if its not quite respectable
some people don’t like caucasian cha cha – no matter what we do or don’t wear
giggle and point and call our moves caca – we will have too much fun to care
jitterbug watusi macarena – suzy q boogie woogie mambo
pom pom jelly roll mosh pit polka – two step electric slide foxtrot disco
an opinion is often compared to a hole – lay down the beat and light up your soul

One of the stars at Java Monkey Speaks performed at a festival in North Carolina. When he got back, there was a comment about white people there, who like goofy looking dancing more that wearing deodorant. What this person did not know was that people who like dancing, more than deodorant, are my kind of people. This poem was read the next week. The star poet, who inspired this protest, was hobnobbing in the lobby while this poem was read.

no matter your childish protestation – jitterbug watusi macarena
decay and ruin of civilization – pom pom jelly roll mosh pit polka
crafting a wig from waterlogged hair – can can charleston madison rumba
g-d is oblivious to your prayer – fandango mashed potato cha cha
a banal and empty platitude piss – two step electric slide foxtrot mambo
will tumble with you into the abyss – suzy q boogie woogie disco

Walk Into A Bar
past present future walk into a bar – heard through the grapevine it was tense
why did the cow cross the road over thar – to get to the udder side of the fence
ham’n cheese sandwich walks into the station – bartender says that we don’t serve food
see the hot new movie constipation – would go but it hasn’t come out yet dude
would you like the milk in a sack son – no dad you can keep it in the carton
how do you make the holy water fit – you just boil the living hell out of it
what did one volcano say to the other – volcano i lava you like a brother

bungee jumping hit bungee speed bump – running with lorena bobbitt scissors
could not remember safe word sisters – was the proofreader for donald trump
look ma no hands hold my beer applaud – erection lasted over five hours
all you can eat marijuana flowers – talk about fight club double dare g-d
peroxide leaches through skull tennessee – hillary clinton suicided me
left iron on tweeting from the bathroom – forgot that jesus flew out of the tomb
wanted to try drano bubble bath – swiped right on hallelujah psychopath

Catalog Part Six

Posted in Poem by chamblee54 on June 27, 2018


DJT Tweets About HRC
she has done poorly with such men – horrible things about my supporter
brainpower is highly overrated – constantly playing women’s card
reading poorly from telepromter – she should be ashamed of herself
pandering to the worst instincts – never been anything like her lies
no solutions no ideas no credibility – she has failed failed failed failed

#ScaryStoriesIn5Words
ann coulter make out session – bernie sanders in tighty-whities
dating naked renewed next season – freddy krueger wet dream deodorant
leak hilary clinton nude photos – honey boo boo mom sextape
kim kardashian retweets my picture – view deray mckesson verify account
michael jackson coming to babysit – stuck in traffic with diarrhea
viral infection makes cows extinct – we’re having a vegan wedding

#5WordSeduction
i often use correct punctuation – will never never vote republican
dishes are done laundry folded – make you pancakes tomorrow dear
how about watching some football – your nipples taste really funny
does this smell like chloroform? – my ankle bracelet doesn’t work
wanna see my comic collection?

#ShareYourBadJoke
two cannibals were eating a clown does this taste funny to you?
bees go to bathroom at bp station – f transitioning into m is dude process
a neutron walks into a bar orders beer bartender says for you no charge
what does hipster weigh? an instagram – past present future go into bar its tense
a pair of jumper cables walks into a bar i’ll serve you but don’t start anything

#4WordCauseOfDeath Part Two
toxic work environment diversity – beginner at russian roulette
drank cheap gas station coffee – monday morning gas station sushi
retweeting while driving drunk – after overdosing on tiny violins
flesh wound involving a unicorn

Not Getting To Perform Part Two
java monkey speaks 11 pm curfew – piers gaveston got lost in the fog
lady before him had anger to spew – some would call her a female dog
poet style a machine gun monotone – went on on on much longer than needed
evil hillary toxic trump rupaul unknown – poopeyhead purge is never completed
if others are waiting please trim your word – we have only so much time
listen to others if you want to be heard – respectability politics are not a crime

Java Monkey is down stairs from a condo building. If the show goes on past 11pm, there is trouble. On this night, a new emcee was taking over. There was a big crowd, and I was way down on the list. When 11pm was approaching, a young lady started to speak. No one had ever heard her before. She had an angry, political speech. There was no let up, no change of pace, no concession to the comfort of the audience. It is a cliche of activism that “it is not my job to make you comfortable.” This may work for the protest stage, especially when you are preaching to the choir. However, Sunday night open mic is entertainment. You can be political, but you should be aware of your audience. It is rather selfish to take the “its not my job…” attitude in any circumstances. When you are preaching to the converted, it does not matter. However, when a curfew is approaching, and people are not going to get to perform, “its not my job” is not a good look.

#RejectedPantoneColors
taupe of the heap supremacy white – destroy soul of my enemy pink
urinal cake pink ratchet red – taco filling tube red $5 whorange
engine light orange blonde kanye – urine trouble yellow oil spill black
pc beige hot dog factory flesh tone – penis envy green algae pond green
splatter green truck stop hooker blue – cornhole blue honey boo boo blue
barney purple just the tip purple – umber the rainbow who gives a fuscia

sausage jockey
brothers of the fudge big boy combo play – microwave popcorn hot dog engineer
bowling in the basement hershey highway – liquor in the front poker in the rear
intestinal tourist private first class – backdoor barbeque michelangelo
anal chainsaw massacre backstage pass – vegan hotpocket curly larry moe
hunker down brown town panorama – sausage jockey creeper peeper
sliding all the way to lower alabama – stick it in stick it in deeper deeper
dance the chocolate chacha elton john – driving on on on on the autobahn

Mexico Later – tweets from @realDonaldTrump
saturday night live is worst of nbc – not funny cast is terrible really bad
in horrible shape falling apart pee – not to mention crime infested sad
totally made up facts by sleazebag – a failed spy afraid of being sued
are we living in nazi germany drag – lost so badly they just don’t know dude
most over-rated actress in hollywood – arnold schwarzenegger got swamped
just more very dishonest media hood – sleazebag political operative stomped
will be paid back by mexico later rot – going to be a smooth transition not

Shakespeare Insult Generator
thou errant doghearted measle squid – gorbellied whoreson haggard booby hatch
you should be women yet your beards forbid – tottering obscene greasy tallow-catch
hence, horrible villain I’ll spurn thine eyes – like balls before me I’ll unhair thy head
poisonous bunch-back’d toadstool surprise – brine smarting in lingering pickle dead
thou clay-brained guts knotty-pated fool – cockered ill-breeding beef witted tool
thine horrid image doth unfix my hair – per bootless mongrel strumpet derrière
your virginity breeds mites much like a cheese – as tedious as tired old whore strip tease
thou dankish unchin-snouted malcontent – spleeny dog hearted onion-eyed pignut
bawdy flap-mouthed giggler testament – frothy beetle-headed gudgeon mac butt
thy hugger bugger kiss is comfortless – as frozen water to a hungry snake
wayward canker-blossom pox-mark putress – thou mangled sheep-biting bladder forsake
i scorn you, scurvy companion buttock – misbegotten folly-fallen rut sock
fawning dizzy eyed porcine maggot-pie – roguish earth-vexing bugbear lullaby
rascally, cheating, poor lack-linen mate – away you moldy old rogue ruminate

We believe black lives matter
Woman’s rights are human rights and that no human is illegal
We know that science is real We feel that love is love
We see that kindness is important
As is correct grammar proper spelling, and fact checking

Mckinnon Acrostic
morphodite democratic delusion
cracker employment asylum martyr
killer media self is an illusion
if you assume everyone is smarter
needle on fingers of an open grope
noodle protest against humidity
opiate the futility of hope
not smiling idiot stupidity
lilac never be dishonest weasel
under powerless alienation
testosterone altruistic people
hear affirmation find inebriation
eager starvation somnambulist
rocking and rolling materialist

Rules For Writing
writing is a part of who you are – not just something that you do
writing well requires a rhythm star – just finish what you’ve started boo
read more sacrifice overflowing – be a person who enjoys sitting down
it’s not about finishing it’s knowing – when to stop writing and go to town
style is a mood you generate out – of yourself can do anything you want
don’t listen to anyone with doubt – who tells you how to write or taunt

Autological
sesquipedalian hyperventilation – fricative wishy washy frankenword
unhyphenated articulation – superfluous awkward canary bird
time-consuming nasal cacophonous – supererogatory twelve-letter
literary harmless euphonious – redundant grandiloquent go getter
asexual visible aromatic – nonpalindromic pentasyllabic
esoteric synthetic problematic – pedantic polysyllabic bombastic
formal dactylic anagramatic – self-referential multisyllabic

Miss Moo
zoom yuk yowza zinger twinkle – snarl snore wallop yadda yahoo
whisper whip why whinny waffle – warble woo hoo wee wee woo woo
tweek poop twang peep trickle tick tock – tinkle swish thump squish thud tee tee
squeak squeal splatter spank snuggle shock – slurp spit heehaw twitter snap spree
scarf rustle rush rumble scat scrap – rabbit rip rattle rah rah ru
smash smack slosh slop slither slip slap – shit slash sizzle sing shuffle screw
puff poot plop plink prattle plonk plunk – pitter patter ping pong piss poo
oink mutter ouch nutter ooze junk – murmur munch moan mumble miss moo

Catalog Part Five

Posted in Poem by chamblee54 on June 27, 2018


coffee cigarettes whiskey dope – free verse almost never free
poetryzac won’t help you cope – copacetic dog synchronicity
preacher shouting prose g-ddamn – writer pants stay up all the time
crack ultra violent poetry slam – fine print prose will never rhyme
poet music will make you dance – knee jerk hip hop broken ass
prose puts money in your pants – too much fail to take a class

Why I Don’t Say The N-Word
the n-word hurts my neighbor
if wrong person hears me say the n-word i get hurt fired sued
the n-word is not a fair fight no word like it for white people
becky cracker honky don’t match negative power of either -a or -er
the n-word demeans people who say the n-word why hurt myself?

chicken-headery clitoris cow – cunnilingus dependent ecstasy
exponential fellatio gentleman – immediate jumbotron orgasm – penetrative position possible

talk to me with your mouth full – tease me like a dirty hornbag you
gag reflex kicks in jaw snapping – don’t have to take your clothes off
glorious gob round my knob – gobblin’ gums around my plums – youthful uber upside my goober

The week before July 10, 2016, was rough.Two black men were shot dead by police. Five Dallas police were killed by a sniper. I knew there would be a lot of black emotion at Java Monkey. The best thing for a white man to do was to be there, and listen. I brought a smutty poem, sixtynine more words, to read. The rest of the time, I was quiet, and let other people speak.

One of the other white men felt the same way. He opened his poem by saying that it was not his struggle, and it was not appropriate for him to speak. (Those were not the exact words.) I spoke to him at intermission. He said to think about this… what if you were a black person, coming to read on a night with much black pain. You looked in the audience, and there were no white people to listen?

Two weeks earlier, a young lady was talking about her natural hair. There was a comment about how *white* hands like to touch this hair. After this comment was made, a loud round of applause, and laughter, rose from the room. I was puzzled, and just a wee bit hurt. I have never had the slightest desire to touch a black lady’s hair.

So the evening went. The names of Timothy Hill and Gerard Foster were not spoken. They were two men shot to death during the previous week. Mr. Foster was in a Decatur apartment complex, walking distance from Java Monkey. Mr. Hill was in a gas station parking lot, less than ten miles from Java Monkey. Mr. Hill was a bystander, when two men had a dispute over a parking spot.

java monkey speaks black white mix americas bad week
two black men shot dead by police
best thing for white man to do is be there listen
not your struggle not appropriate – read your smutty poem shut up

first they came for the rich i clicked like on facebook
then they came for #racists i tweeted a #woke #hashtag
then they came for truth tellers i gave my #thoughts&prayers
then they came for me

when in doubt quit talking – not everyone enjoys hearing your voice
listen twice as much as you talk – anger and loud talk make things worse
use name of g-d with kindness respect – understand if you want to be understood
forgive if you want to be forgiven

autoerotic bj becky bestiality – blow me blumpkin blumpy bob
boss brain canoodle captain chair – chicken head chrome commander
deep throat dine at the Y furburger – eat foam give brain gobby goose
headmaster hoover hover hummer – knob knowledge manipulation
munch carpet nosh peck play – rusty trombone skin flute skull
slob knob slurpin gherkin smack – smoke pole square away swallow

I picked a good year to start performing poetry in Decatur. In August of 2016, Decatur hosted the National Poetry Slam. I don’t do slams, but felt the urge to help out as a volunteer. I wound up working three days, with mixed results. On Wednesday, I worked at the haiku slam. The emcee put me to work on signing up contestants. It got a bit frantic, but wound up being fun. The next event was “Black Poets Speak Out.” The anger was more than I could handle, and I left. Your right to be angry does not include my obligation to listen.

I thought that was it for me, until I saw an email asking for more volunteers at the semi finals. The event was held on the beautiful Agnes Scott campus. As usual, there was not a lot to do, except stand in back of the auditorium and watch.

Glori B., from Austin TX, performed a piece about rape. There was a lot of fast, loud, angry talking. I missed some of the qualifying details. What I did hear was at the end. This is not a verbatim quote. “Men, if you want to know what rape culture is, it is you.” While Gloria B might not have meant that…. that men were rape culture … that is the message the I heard. When people are shouting, subtleties and nuance go out the window. What comes through is the message… YOU ARE RAPE CULTURE. Slam is not a subtle medium. You go for the impact, and the details don’t matter.

Glori B, and a partner, had a piece later in the show. The two women shouted, both standing up and crouched over. The piece could be summed up by a haiku Glori B did wednesday… again, this is not a verbatim quote… call me bitch and that gives me permission to show you what one is. The piece was extremely well received by the audience. As for confusing Glori B with a lady dog …

Sonnet Number Two
bake brownies blow mud build a log cabin – bust a grumpie burn a mule blow ordure
code brown crap factory get happy win – lubrication defecation manure
discharge doo doo craptastic driver ball – drop kids off bomber pool hot honkey night
wolf bait trout duke it out go down the hall – dump trump wailin’ palin burger delight
deep fried twinkie luther burger breakfast – regurgitation free the turtle fast
expel shy hamster dumper diver lunch – grease the bowl grow a tail corpulent crunch
fly fecal matter effluent sinner – give birth to future state trooper dinner

@blackedpoetry how to make new blackout poetry
1- find an old book magazine or newspaper and a black marker
2- let the phrases find you
It was about this time that I made friends with blackout poetry. The idea is simple. Take a sheet of paper, and use magic markers to blot out all the words that don’t fit your agenda. Here are a few examples of traditional blackout poetry. I decided that editing hard copy with ink was crude and messy. You can do it easier with a computer.

How To Write A Poem
avoid all clichés know your goal – communicate theme pimp your soul
glorious image simile metaphor – concrete word that will never bore
don’t do sentimental revise revise – subvert fabulous ordinary lies
always rhyme with extreme caution – over the road to daydream has been

one two three for even laughter – a pair of odds the numbers after
mythical zero prelude four five – total six seven eight nine survive

i saw the debate i stayed up late – worried for the blue and the red
listened to trump who took a big dump – while a man shot a citizen dead
i saw trump slither heard hillary dither – feel my brother’s pain how is he insane
this will not end very well

The big story in 2016 was the election of Donald J. Trump as President of the United States. I did not write many poems about this unfolding horror story. If you can’t say anything good, don’t say anything at all. The Democrats blew it. They lose an election to a dangerous idiot. The Democrats thought if they called Donald J. Trump a racist, then it would help Hillary Clinton win. It did not work. Now we have a deplorable man as President, and the racial divide is worse than ever.