There Is No I In Denial

There’s no I in denial. ~ What does a house wear? A dress.
What did the buffalo say to his son as he left for college? Bison.
I asked a Frenchman if he played video games. He said “wii”.
I ate a clock yesterday, it was so time consuming.
Why was Santa’s little helper feeling depressed? Because he has low Elf esteem
How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb?… 1 or 2? 1… or 2?
Just read a few facts about frogs. They were ribbiting.
Want to hear a word I just made up? Plagiarism.
What did the hungry clock do? Went back four seconds!
Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.
Have you seen that new movie about trees in love? …Yeah, it’s pretty sappy…
I don’t like atoms, they’re liars. They make up everything.
I was thinking about moving to Moscow but there is no point Russian into things.
First rule of Thesaurus Club: You don’t talk, converse, discuss, speak, chat,
deliberate, confer, gab, gossip or natter about Thesaurus Club.
There is a new disease found in margarine… Apparently it spreading very easily.
People are making apocalypse jokes like there’s no tomorrow.
Need an ark to save two of every animal? I Noah guy.
What’s the advantage of living in Switzerland? Well, the flag is a big plus.
“I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting!”
It’s so hard to think of another chemistry joke… All the good ones Argon.
Breaking news! Energizer Bunny arrested – charged with battery.
I’m off to Nairobi in the Summer. Kenya believe it?
A baker was caught bonking his bread loaves. They say he was inbread.
I enjoy using the comedy technique of self-deprecation – but I’m not very good at it.
This is a repost. Pictures are from “Special Collections, Georgia State University Library.”