True Stories
A man is staying in a hotel.
He walks up to the front desk and says,
“Sorry, I forgot what room I’m in, can you help me?”
The receptionist replies, “No problem, sir. This is the lobby.”
You know, I was looking at our ceiling the other day. It’s not the best … But it’s up there.
My nickname at work is Mr. Compromise. It wasn’t my first choice but I’m ok with it.
Where does a dog go when it loses it’s tail, and needs a new one? A retail store.
I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
How do you get a country girl’s attention? A tractor.
I was attacked by 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9. The odds were against me.
When I caught my neighbor attaching a rocket engine to a deer,
I immediately reported him to the authorities.
Shame on him for trying to make a quick buck.
What did the green grape say to the purple grape. Breathe idiot, breathe.
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius … but his brother Frank was a monster.
“Officer, are you crying while writing me a ticket?” Policeman: “It’s a … moving violation.”
What do you call a helpful lemon? Lemonaid.
People say I’m a plagiarist … Their words, not mine.
I’ve just written a book about falling down a staircase. It’s a step by step guide.
I was on the phone with my wife. “I’m almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on.”
After a twenty second pause, I asked, “You still there sweetheart?”
“Yes. But I don’t think the coffee maker wants to talk right now.”
I have a perfect memory. I can’t remember a single time I’ve ever forgotten anything.
Did you hear the one about the giant throwing up? It’s all over town.
Why shouldn’t blind people sky dive? It scares the dog.
I recently switched all the labels on my wife’s spice rack.
She hasn’t realised yet, but the thyme is cumin.
My friend keeps saying “cheer up man, it could be worse,
you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water.” I know he means well.
Apparently every country got coronavirus. But China got it right off the bat.
My son asked me what the opposite of “isolate” is. I told him “yousoearly”.
Due to the quarantine, I’ll only be telling inside jokes.
Instead of a swear jar, I have a negativity jar. Every time I have pessimistic thoughts,
I put a penny in. It’s currently half empty.
What did the cannibal’s wife say when he came home late for dinner?
I’m giving you the cold shoulder.
We’re going to need 144 rolls of toilet paper for the 14 day quarantine. 144? That’s gross.
How long do you microwave fish? Tuna half minutes!
CDC: “No handshakes” Cannibal: *shuts off blender* “Awwwwwww….”
If you get an email from the government warning not to eat canned meat,
because is contains Covid-19, just ignore it. It’s spam.
A cable TV installer walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender says, “You’ll be served sometime between 7am and 2pm.”
Does anybody remember the joke I posted about my spine? It was about a weak back.
I asked my wife how to turn Alexa off. “How about walking through the room naked?”
Did you hear about the guy who’s left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
These true stories were borrowed from @Dadsaysjokes and @sodadjokes. Pictures are from The Library of Congress. This is a repost.
Mohandas Or Mahatma
Mahatma Gandhi – dying for freedom drops a curious tidbit 164 seconds in. “in the Indian capital Delhi there are several sites dedicated to the memory of the man to whom the poet Tagore gave the name Mahatma, great soul.” PG had always been annoyed by the custom of referring to Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi as Mahatma. It was time to learn more.
“The honorific Mahātmā (Sanskrit: “great-souled”) was first applied to Mr. Gandhi in 1914, in South Africa.” (Earlier wikipedias said that Mr. Gandhi was “pained” by the title.) A footnote has a googlebooks reference. “… Addresses in Durban and Verulam referred to Gandhi as a ‘Mahatma’, ‘great soul’. He was seen as a great soul because he had taken up the poor’s cause. The whites too said good things about Gandhi, who predicted a future for the Empire if it respected justice.”
“Rabindranath Tagore (1861 – 1941) is best known as a poet, and in 1913 was the first non-European writer to be awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature.” Mr. Tagore was a big deal in India. “Despite formal address till 1919 (“Dear Mr. Gandhi”) Tagore refers to Gandhi as the ‘Mahatma’ as early as February 1915. “… in April of 1919, Tagore had for the first time addressed Gandhiji as “Mahatma”, even though it wasn’t Tagore who was the first to use the honorific.”
Mr. Tagore and Mr. Gandhi differed sharply. Many of these conflicts were about tactics Mr. Gandhi was using against British rule. “Some of us are reported to be of the opinion that it is mass animosity against the British that will unify India… So this anti-British animus, they say, must be our chief weapon… if that is true, then once the cause of the animosity is gone, in other words when the British leave the country, that artificial bond of unity will snap in a moment. Where, then, shall we find a second target of animosity? We shall not need to travel far. We shall find it here, in our country, where we shall mangle each other in mutual antagonism, a thirst for each other’s blood.”
The matter of who first used the M-word has been the subject of a court case. “The Gujarat High Court on Friday declared that Rabindranath Tagore gave the title to “Mahatma” to Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi, reported India Today. The court was hearing a petition filed by one Sandhya Maru challenging the answer key of an examination held by a Rajkot local body, which said an “unknown journalist” came up with the title. … Maru said she lost marks because of the ambiguity about who gave the title to Gandhi … An RTI activist from Hyderabad had filed a query with the Prime Minister’s Office in 2012 seeking to know how, when and why Gandhi was given the title of Mahatma. The PMO had forwarded the request to the Indian Council of Historical Research … However, the ICHR informed RTI activist Raju Malthumkar in a letter that neither the NAI nor the Council had any documentary information on the subject.”
“A controversy broke out over a claim that a journalist – whose name remains unknown – first called Gandhi Mahatma. Tagore scholar and poet Sankha Ghosh made it clear that the Nobel Laureate was indeed not the first person to use the title. Gandhiji was first addressed as Mahatma at a reception at the Durban Town Hall in South Africa on July 12th 1914.”
A comment to this story has another take. “Nagar sheth of Jetpur Shri Nautamlal B. Mehta (Kamdar) was the first to use and bestow “Mahatma” for Shri Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi on January 21, 1915, at Kamri Bai School, Jetpur, India. From then on, Gandhiji was known as Mahatma Gandhi.”
We do not know who first called Mohandas Gandhi “Mahatma.” We also do not know why the M-word is so widely used. Many people think that Mahatma is Mr. Gandhi’s first name. Is Mr. Gandhi more inspiring with an honorific title, rather than the name his parents gave him?
Chamblee54 has written about M.K. Gandhi before. one two. Was Mohandas Gandhi A Racist? looks at Mr. Gandhi’s time in South Africa. Pictures today are from The Library of Congress.
Fat Or Racist
@jimchines Could we just stop with the use of “fat” as an insult already? You’re trying to hit the person you’re insulting, but you’re hurting a lot of other people in the process. Grow the hell up. @jimchines Yeah, Shakespeare also made his share of fat jokes/insults too, unfortunately. Do better. Get creative, and scrub that particular tired, lazy insult from your repertoire.
@chamblee54 What about the use of anything as an insult. I would start with racist.
@jimchines Racism is something we can choose to support, or we can choose to push back against. Too many people simply choose to ignore it. Which means accepting it. Don’t want to be described as racist? Stop doing/supporting/accepting racist shit. Seems simple enough to me. @jimchines Usually when I see people saying “racist” is an insult, all they’re trying to do is shut down criticism and silence conversation about race and racism. It’s tiresome.
@chamblee54 “Don’t want to be described as racist? Stop doing/supporting/accepting racist shit.” That is a lie. Even if you do quit being racist, how will your haters know? That lie is used to justify prejudice. Out of respect for our mental health, this thread should end now.
@jimchines Consider it ended. But in the future, perhaps don’t stir up conversations you’re unable or unwilling to have.
@chamblee54 Point taken. That was not my intention, however. Unfortunately, that is how it turned out. Fat compares to racist, in the third party conception that it is something the insultee has control over. In the case of fat, the change is measurable and apparent.
As twitterspats go, this was mercifully brief. One could go on about the relative merits of using fat, or racist, as weapons of verbal destruction. Both epithets usually have elements of bullying, and hypocrisy, in their use. Many language custodians, who would be appalled by fat, feel virtuous in calling someone racist. It would be better to retire both insults. That probably is not going to happen.
What makes this episode noteworthy is the connection between @jimchines and @chamblee54. There is a third party, who we will call @duh. This is not his name, but does incorporate his initials.
@chamblee54 and @duh quit communicating in 2008, after quarreling at @duh’s LiveJournal. @chamblee54 developed a distaste for online combat, and has tried, with varying degrees of success, to stay out of trouble. @duh, otoh, seems to glory in digital feuds. If a person goes to his facebook feed, they will see many examples of this.
One of these disputes included @jimchines. If you have a lot of free time, you can read about it. (one two three four) The beginning, and end, of one @jimchines post says a great deal. “Well, this has been quite the week. … My thanks to everyone for their patience while I worked through this.”
What makes yesterday’s episode ironic is that @duh is an aggressive pro-black pundit. He will call someone RACIST at the slightest provocation. To see the target of white-shaming defend the use of racist is quite the spectacle.
FWIW, @chamblee54, who sports an old man”s pot-belly, has only seen face pictures of @jimchines. @duh is flamboyantly skinny. @chamblee54 has never met either gentleman irl. Judgements about waistlines, or racial attitudes, are not appropriate.
While finishing this, a tweet turned up. @melaninbarbie “being fat matters. The violence that young fat Black girls experience contributed to her death and if you don’t understand why, y’all need to start cracking open some fucking books on fatphobia.” Pictures are from The Library of Congress. The men are Union soldiers, from the War Between the States. This is a repost.
Iggy Pop
Speaking of Iggy Pop, and music merchandising, he has a collection of music for sale. Included in this package is a show he did at Richards, across the street from Grady Stadium. One night Iggy was singing at Richards, when Elton John appeared onstage wearing a gorilla suit.
The greatest achievement of Mr. Pop is living so long. (He was born April 21, 1947). He has done heroin by the kilo, jumps off stage into crowds of punk rock fans, and is a general mess. He still has a great smile, although it is not known how many of those teeth are his own.
One night in 1980, PG saw a performance by Iggy Pop. The site was the 688 club, a storefront on Spring Street, across the expressway from Georgia Tech. 688 Spring Street had been the site of Roses Cantina, where PG had seen George Thorogood. Some other blues band did Amphetamine Annie with the original lyrics…instead of speed kills, they said love gun.
Roses was a cool place, a long narrow space with the performers in the middle, and a pool table behind the stage. Nightclubs are a tough business for capitalists, and Roses shut down.
At any rate, by the time PG got back from Seattle, some brave investors decided to have a punk rock club at 688 Spring Street. Soon, Iggy Pop was playing a week there. In the seventies, the bands would play for five days at the great southeast music hall or the electric ballroom, two shows a night, and if you were really cool you would go on a weeknight before it got too crowded. Soon after that, it was one night in town only, and you either saw it or you didn’t.
PG had a friend at the Martinique apartments on Buford Hiway. There was someone living in the complex known as ZenDen, who sold acid. You would go to his place, wade through the living room full of grown men listening to Suzi Quatro, and purchase the commodity.
On to the the 23 Oglethorpe bus, and downtown to 688 Spring Street. Before anyone knew it, the band was on the stage. A veteran of the Patti Smith Group, named Ivan Kral, was playing bass. Mr. Kral sneezed, and a huge white booger fell across his face. He was not playing when the show ended.
There was a white wall next to the stage, and someone wrote the song list on that wall. That list of songs stayed on the wall as long as 688 was open. “I want to be your dog” was on the list, as well as the number where Iggy pulled his pants off and performed in his underwear. Supposedly, in New York the drawers came off, but the TMI police were off duty that night.
The show was loud and long, and had the feel of an endurance event…either you go or the band does. Finally, the show was over, and PG got on the 23 Oglethorpe bus to go home. You got the northbound bus on West Peachtree Street. You could look down the street and see the Coca Cola sign downtown.
Thirty years later,PG, like Iggy Pop, has a full head of teeth, which, in PG’s case are his own. PG has a full head of white hair, as apparently does Mr. Pop, although he does appear to touch up his hair. Maybe he really is a blond. This post should be over, but if there are 37 more words then we will have 688. The space on Spring Street is still standing, which is pretty good for Atlanta. It is now an emergency room, or something.
This is a repost. The original was posted seven years ago. Iggy is still alive. So is PG. 688 Spring Street stands. 23 Oglethorpe is the answer to a trivia question. Pictures are from The Library of Congress.
Tim Curry
Timothy James Curry was born seventy six years ago today. It would be quite a while before April 19 was known as got a minute day. Mr. Curry is an actor, singer, and all around phenomenon. The role that made him a star was Frank-n-Furter in ” The Rocky Horror Show”.
Mr. Curry is best known for playing a flamboyant transvestite. His wikipedia page does not discuss his personal life. If you go to google, and type “is tim curry” the top five results are gay, married, dead, alive, died. A visit to some of the sites listed gave no definite answers. One of the sites tried to slip a *trojan horse* into this machine. Some things are better left a mystery.
After Dr. Furter went back to Transylvania, Mr. Curry made rock and roll albums. In 1978, a tour was put together to promote his vinyl debut. The first show in the United States was at the Agora Ballroom in Atlanta GA. PG was in the audience.
Riding into town on the 23 Ogelthorpe bus, PG got to talk to some ladies who were in town for a conference. They were worried about the crime. PG tried to reassure them by telling a recent news story. This lady was having breakfast in a downtown hotel, when she put her purse down on the floor. A handgun her husband had given her went off when the handbag hit the ground. The ladies breakfast companion was hit and killed.
Mr. Curry walked onstage eating a banana, grabbed a stool and turned it upside down. He appeared to be a bit tipsy. This did not affect his performance. Mr. Curry did most of the songs on his album, along with “Celluoid Heroes” by the Kinks. The latter song featured a Garbo impersonation.
Whoever put the band together for this tour had a lot of money. The guitar player played with Lou Reed on “Rock and Roll Animal”. The keyboard player, and musical director, was Micheal Kamen, formerly of the New York Rock and Roll Ensemble. (A song on the Curry album, “Sloe Gin”, was a NYRRE song, “Fields of Joy”, with new lyrics.)
The only song from “Rocky Horror” that Mr. Curry did was “I’m Going Home”. A few people were upset that he did not do “Sweet Transvestite.” He played another Agora show a couple of years later, and reportedly did perform “Sweet Transvestite.”
Tom Waits was scheduled to perform at the Agora the next night. PG was wandering through the balcony between shows, and saw Mr. Waits sitting at a table. A bodyguard was standing by, who said that it was just someone who looked like Tom Waits.
After the show was over, PG went to a nearby bar, and was talking to a friend about the show. A lady who was with the friend stood in front of him and screamed “What color are your eyes? They are brown, because you are so full of shit”.
Pictures for this repost are from The Library of Congress. Photographs of Cornell Fresh. 8 and Cornell 2d Varsity, 1914 are from the George Grantham Bain Collection
Dystopian Gendercide
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Germany has ended a century-long debate over a missing letter in its alphabet
Is It Time to Do Away With the Dystopian ‘Gendercide’ Story? … “gender plague” novel.
Former Trump lawyer, amid Jan. 6 committee clash, pushing to decertify 2020 election
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Chicago-Area Pastor Whose Church Is ‘Fasting From Whiteness’ For Lent Speaks
Oak Park church ‘fasting from whiteness’ for Lent is going online only after threats
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Same-Sex Sexual Attraction Does Not Spread in Adolescent Social Networks
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Wipf and Stock To Pull ‘Bad and Boujee’ From Publication, Distribution
Walking on Water: Celebrating Risk and Failure – the miracle of Jesus walking on water
Flutterwave: The African Unicorn Built On Quicksand Fraud, … perjury, insider trading? …
Warning: Thomas Jefferson makes racially offensive remarks in the passages below …
Medical school student discovers cadaver assigned to her for dissection is her relative
a woman who was infested with shrimp after masturbating with a lobster
On Origins of Professional-Managerial Class: An Interview with Barbara Ehrenreich
The Planets Gustav Holst; Leopold Stokowski; Los Angeles Philharmonic Orchestra …
Gutter Snob Books Literature for the discerning degenerate
Why is the Great American Poem So Hard to Write? Apr 9
Bach Cantata BWV 4 Easter «Christ lag in Todes Banden» John Eliot Gardiner
refractory rhyme ~ capital grille ~ hhaddendum ~ mandela effect ~ walt whitman
oscar wilde ~ 41% ~ john derek ~ portals press ~ gutter snob
double ~ repost ~ Jacob Christian Muse ~ pedagogy ~ braves
racism ~ repost ~ joe walsh ~ daniels ~ collard pests
collard pests ~ mactation ~ path fdn ~ nancy creek trail ~ walking trails
peachtree ~ roland martin ~ maher ~ bill maher ~ pushin
bitterkarella ~ manhunt ~ @scumbelievable ~ pulchritude ~ k thor jenson
photoromero ~ em dash ~ syllabication ~ german alt codes ~ ß
eszett ~ irispresents ~ @scumbelievable ~ @jessesingal ~ @bitterkarella
Gretchen Felker-Martin@scumbelievable You’re blocked You can’t follow or see @scumbelievable’s Tweets. Learn more ~ @jessesingal 4/ If I cannot have a good-faith disagreement with “Lesbian Death Bed: The Bed that Eats Pussy,” then truly Debate and Civility are lost causes… ~ @bitterkarella Lesbian Death Bed: The Bed that Eats Pussy – Cartoonist & text game guy, founder of the Midnight Society @midnight_pals Genderfluid transvestite goblin: 30% anima, 30% animus, 40% shadow. He/Him, She/Her ~ @Tbone7219 Does anyone know how to get a dick out of a blood pressure cuff ? Also I’m not allowed at this Walgreens anymore ~ “Deep rooted prejudices entertained by the whites; ten thousand recollections, by the blacks, of the injuries they have sustained; new provocations; the real distinctions which nature has made; and many other circumstances, will divide us into parties, and produce convulsions which will probably never end but in the extermination of the one or the other race.” … The circumstance of superior beauty, is thought worthy attention in the propagation of our horses, dogs, and other domestic animals; why not in that of man? Besides those of colour, figure, and hair, there are other physical distinctions proving a difference of race. They have less hair on the face and body. They secrete less by the kidnies, and more by the glands of the skin, which gives them a very strong and disagreeable odour. This greater degree of transpiration renders them more tolerant of heat, and less so of cold, than the whites. . . . They seem to require less sleep. A black, after hard labour through the day, will be induced by the slightest amusements to sit up till midnight, or later, though knowing he must be out with the first dawn of the morning.” ~ From Notes on the State of Virginia (1784) Thomas Jefferson ~ @pooroldkilgore dumb when people want to refer to god as a woman, women already have a lot of bad stereotypes associated with us, we don’t need to be associated with god’s terrible characteristics ~ i just walked up to lowes there was a train sitting on the tracks many of the cars had festive grafitti, and i got a lot of pictures ~ with all due respect to those people i’m not sure their discussion is going to teach us something we haven’t heard before ~ I forget what the circumstances were but she and I were asking about a black American Scholar who was going to come speak a young black Americans color another was himself and I said what or is he going to be exaggerating and Lena talking about racism is if it’s an obstacle to his success at cetera to me that sounds so diagonal because we see that black guy with making that kind of noise is exhibiting some kind of Pride but she just she and I had a conversation with every background on Saturday I don’t remember because we’re talkin about almost thirty years ago but she’s probably from Nigeria Nigeria today I was talking to that same kind of person another this was a scholar from these are actually and quite unbidden she had the exact same it’s about and I didn’t ask her but she saw it she doesn’t talk about it too loudly it’s actually like them self and I frankly agree and you know those are the same people who think that word self-heating know if you need to feel indignant to the point that you massage event you don’t like yourself because you don’t know what it’s like to actually like yourself because you’ve only known liking yourself on the basis of that instead of on the basis of being an individual with your own free choice in your own tendencies in your own talents and your own units they don’t they don’t get that I feel so sorry for that the only thing you think of yourself as most worthy an interesting 4 is exaggerating about something in a theatrical way and resisting evidence that you might not be right about these things ~ @chamblee54 Replying to @jessesingal was @realchrisrufo appearance with @JoyAnnReid a set up? It got tons of publicity for both parties ~ todays pictures are from The Library of Congress. ~ selah
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