Chamblee54

Splendid Ways Of Either

Posted in Uncategorized by chamblee54 on June 30, 2010


There is a common surgical procedure called rhinoplasty , or nose job. When nature gives too much of a good thing, the plastic impulse is to reshape and reduce. This is the opposite of the boob job, where the general concept is the add on. What nature has forgotten, stuff with cotton.

Rhinoplasty sounds like RINO, or republican in name only. While purists might want those with inconvenient opinions surgically stricken, this only sounds the same. There is an H in the mix…where rinoplasty would get the h out, the nose job has the h left in. It is from the same origin as Rhinoceros.

PG read a good story about rhinoplasty yesterday, and it reminded him of  more. As Erica Jong once noted, if you place the bobbed noses in Los Angeles end to end, it might go all the way back to Poland.

Going in reverse order, a botched nose job played a key role in a Carl Hiassen story. (All his books tell the same story, with different weirdos and ecological outrages). A doctor was performing a “routine” r-plasty, while listening to a Miami Dolphins game on the radio. At the point of the procedure when he breaks the patients nose with a hammer, someone scored a touchdown. The doctor celebrated by slamming the hammer down a bit too hard, the chisel went into the persons brain, and killed him. The body was disposed of, by a landscaper with a grinder.

Which brings us back to “Even Cowgirls Get The Blues”. While Tom Robbins has similar books, only one has Sissy Hankshaw Gitche, the girl with the huge thumbs. When Sissy was a girl, her parents took her to a plastic surgeon, with the hopes of making her normal. A normal person in a Tom Robbins novel ?

After many adventures, Sissy returned to her hometown, and looked for the plastic surgeon. He had been forced into early retirement, under embarrassing circumstances. It seems the artist in his soul took control of the technician in the employ of providers. On a “routine nose job”, he gave a young man a three ridge, six nostril nose. It looked at you dead on, from whatever angle he chose to pose. His parents were not amused.
Pictures from The Library of Congress.

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